Dear Steve,

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me, and it took me years to realize that we weren't meant for each other. He never understood how to be emotionally supportive, and I never learned how to be emotionally vulnerable. We never even said "I love you" during our year-long relationship. To this day, I have still never said "I love you" in a romantic relationship.

A few months after the breakup, I found out he was hooking up with his recently separated manager whom he always told me he was never attracted to. Moral of my story: believe people when they tell you it's not going to work out.

And now? I can barely maintain a healthy relationship with men because I look for the ones I can change. So, how can I know if someone's the one, when I knowingly keep picking the wrong ones?

– Sensing a pattern