Dear Steve,

I have been divorced for quite some time and have three children. I met a guy who is about eight years younger than me with no children. We fell for each other pretty quickly, and he moved in after about three months of dating. Two years later, we broke up because I felt he didn't have a backbone when it came to standing up to his family. Although my boyfriend and I were very much in love, his family rejected me.

The issue is his family HATES me and the fact that we’re together. They are extremely racist and will never accept me, my biracial children, or the age difference. They refuse to meet me and have told him that if he marries me, he will be eliminated from their will. They said that my children and I will never be welcomed in their home, and that if we had a child together they would have nothing to do with it.

Knowing all of this, we stayed together for two years, broke up for a few, and have now been back together for a year. Even as we dated other people during the two-year breakup, we couldn't forget each other and always stayed in touch. But now that we're back on, the same problems still exist. He's never going to put his foot down with his family; he's the most passive person I have ever met. He doesn't put his foot down with anyone, but especially wants to keep the peace with them. I feel like my children and I deserve more out of a relationship, but at the same time, it's not him, it's them. He's nothing like them – he is good to me and to my children.

I tell myself to focus on that and forget the rest, but it's hard because it's such a major issue. I don't know what to do.

-Needing a backbone