Dear Steve,

I am in a panic lately because I am having continuous thoughts about another guy – and dreams. A little back story here: I've been in a relationship for more than four years with the most amazing guy. We started dating fresh out of high school when we were 18 and he is my first real relationship and love. I am almost done with college now.

I have always developed little crushes on guys in my classes. They pass very quickly, and my boyfriend knows all about them. More recently, though, there has been one that's lingering. This crush shows up in my dreams, and I wake up sad that it was only a dream. He gives me attention when we are in class together, and every part of me just wants to explore that. I know the grass is always greener, but it is beginning to take away from my current relationship. I am thinking about the other guy when we are intimate. I feel so terrible and guilty about this because I know my current partner is the one.

I have asked him if he would be open to one night away, or a break, but he isn't. I hate that I even asked, but I feel like this obsession is not going to go away until I explore the other guy. It isn't as simple as a break, though, because Jack and I live together, have a cat together, and share a lot of financial commitments. I feel like I am stuck in the relationship, but I know that actually isn't the case because he is so important to me and I want to marry him one day.

It's getting to the point where I don't even tell Jack about the thoughts anymore because they have started making him jealous and hurt. I wish I could just get rid of the fantasies about this other guy. Have 're seen a situation like this before? What was your advice? I know I have two options, but I think I need a little bit of advice.

– Tempted