Contacts
Info
Welcome to The Messy Middle. This is where we talk about what it means to live in the in-between—between healing and wholeness, clarity and confusion, exhaustion and hope. I’m Mila,...
show more
Welcome to The Messy Middle. This is where we talk about what it means to live in the in-between—between healing and wholeness, clarity and confusion, exhaustion and hope. I’m Mila, a self-actualization coach who works with Black millennial women navigating the aftermath of betrayal, burnout, and hard decisions. You won’t find perfection here. You’ll find honesty. You’ll find yourself. New podcast episodes drop Tuesdays. Subscribe if you’re looking for real conversations about what it takes to keep going—even when you’re still figuring it out.
show less
Episodes & Posts
Episodes
Posts
13 OCT 2026 · What if the fences you think are locking you in aren’t even closed?Many of us spend years waiting in emotional waiting rooms, hoping someone will finally hand us the validation, closure, or fairness we feel we earned. But keeping score only drains your momentum.In Episode 7 of The Messy Middle Podcast, we’re having an honest conversation about shedding the invisible rules, confronting the reality of where you are, and taking your first steps forward without waiting for permission.Key Takeaways:
- Breaking free from the expectation that life owes you a fair trade
- Recognizing the self-imposed limits inherited from other people's opinions
- Practical ways to ground yourself when frustration takes over
🔔 Subscribe to The Messy Middle Podcast for weekly candid reflections on navigating life, work, and personal growth when you're in the thick of it.Let me know your biggest takeaway in the comments!This conversation comes out of Chapter 7 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled "Control, Acceptance & Reality."📖 Get 'Rebuilding Life on Your Terms' on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY9NWXQ3📅 Book a free coaching consultation:https://calendar.app.google/eAnXcxLG1BK25GZN8
6 OCT 2026 · We treat readiness like something that shows up before you act. Most of the time it's the other way around. You move first, and the sure feeling catches up to you later, once you're already going.This episode is about the decisions you already know you need to make but keep putting off until you're certain. We get into why that certainty usually isn't coming, why waiting for it can keep you stuck somewhere that stopped fitting you a long time ago, and what it actually means to trust yourself when you can't see how things turn out.If there's something you've been sitting on, this one's for you.This conversation comes out of Chapter 6 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled "Decision-Making & Agency."📖 Get 'Rebuilding Life on Your Terms' on Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY9NWXQ3📅 Book a free coaching consultation:https://calendar.app.google/eAnXcxLG1BK25GZN8
29 SEP 2026 · We talk about growth like it only ever adds to your life. It doesn't always. Sometimes the thing it quietly takes is the ease you used to have with the people who've known you longest.This episode is about what happens when you change on the inside, where no one can see it, while the people around you keep relating to a version of you you've already left behind. We get into why relationships don't adjust as fast as you do, why some connections stretch to meet you while others stay stuck, and the specific loneliness that can show up even in a room full of people you love.If you've been feeling a distance you can't quite explain lately, this one's for you.This conversation comes out of Chapter 5 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled "Relationships & Social Dynamics."📖 Get 'Rebuilding Life on Your Terms' on Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY9NWXQ3📅 Book a free coaching consultation:https://calendar.app.google/eAnXcxLG1BK25GZN8
22 SEP 2026 · You set the boundary. You said the no. It was reasonable, it was necessary, and you'd stand by it if anyone asked. So why have you been replaying it for two days, wondering if you were too harsh?This episode is about the part of boundaries nobody warns you about. Not the saying, but everything that hits you afterward. We get into why boundaries disrupt the version of you people expect, why guilt shows up even when you've done nothing wrong, and how learning to read that guilt differently is where self-trust actually starts.If you set a boundary and then talk yourself right back out of it, this one's for you.This conversation comes out of Chapter 4 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled "Boundaries, Voice & Self-Trust."📖 Get 'Rebuilding Life on Your Terms' on Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY9NWXQ3📅 Book a free coaching consultation:https://calendar.app.google/eAnXcxLG1BK25GZN8
15 SEP 2026 · Somebody asks how you're doing and you say fine before the question even lands. No pause, no thought, just the reflex. It's practical, it keeps things moving, and it works so well that you can spend years managing everything on the surface while losing track of what's actually going on underneath.This episode is about the gap between how well you're functioning and how you're actually doing. We get into the difference between coping and healing, why the two look identical from the outside, and how "I'm fine" slowly becomes a wall between you and your own experience.If you've gotten so good at holding it together that you're not sure what's underneath anymore, this one's for you.This conversation comes out of Chapter 3 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled Emotional Truth & Self-Honesty, available on Amazon. Links to the book and to private coaching are below.📖 'Rebuilding Life on Your Terms':https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY9NWXQ3📅 Book a free coaching consultation:https://calendar.app.google/eAnXcxLG1BK25GZN8
8 SEP 2026 · You've learned to need almost nothing. You'd rather do it the hard way, on your own, than ask for help and feel whatever asking brings up in you. It looks like independence, and a lot of it is, but underneath sits a quieter belief that needing something says something about you.This episode is about where that belief came from and what it costs you to keep hiding what you need. We get into the shame that shows up around asking, the definition of "capable" you were handed before you had any say in it, and the internalized ableism most of us were never taught to name.If you're tired in a place sleep doesn't reach, this one's for you.This conversation comes out of Chapter 2 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, titled Disability, Limitations & Self-Worth, available on Amazon. Links to the book and to private coaching are below.
Amazon Link:
1 SEP 2026 · You've always been the one who handles things. When life got hard, you found a way through, and somewhere along the way being strong stopped feeling like a choice and started feeling like the only version of you that's allowed to exist.This episode is about what that strength has quietly cost you. We get into where it came from, how it went from something you do to something you think you are, and the uncomfortable gap between being able to carry something and actually wanting to.If you've spent years being the dependable one and you're starting to feel the weight of it, start here.This conversation comes out of Chapter 1 of my book, Rebuilding Life on Your Terms, available on Amazon. Links to the book and to private coaching are below.
10 MAR 2026 · The middle of a life transition is often longer than we expect. In the Season 2 finale, Jamila reflects on what it means to live in the in-between — after things have changed, but before anything feels resolved.This episode explores the quiet, extended middle that comes after loss, faith shifts, starting over, forgiveness, and emotional rebuilding. It’s not about closure or lessons learned. It’s about what it feels like to keep living when you’re no longer in crisis, but you’re not settled either — when the support fades, the questions stop, and you’re still figuring out who you are now.This conversation centers the experience of women — especially Black women — navigating long transitions without timelines, applause, or clear endings. We talk about patience, identity, loneliness, and the pressure to appear “okay” while things are still rearranging internally.This episode closes out Season 2 by naming a truth we don’t hear often: some seasons don’t resolve cleanly, and some turning points take longer than expected. If you’re still standing in the middle, this conversation is for you.
3 MAR 2026 · In this episode of The Messy Middle, Season 2, Jamila sits down with special guest, Elle, to explore a rarely discussed experience — what it’s like to achieve wins, reach milestones, and make progress with no cheering section.Success is often imagined as loud and celebrated, but many women know the quieter reality: personal victories that happen in isolation, growth that feels unseen, and accomplishments that don’t always bring the joy we expect. This conversation unpacks the emotional and psychological layers of navigating “silent wins,” including loneliness, self-validation, shifting motivation, and redefining what success actually means.If you’ve ever reached a goal and felt the weight of having no one to share it with, this episode will resonate.Topics include:• Silent milestones and private victories• The emotional side of success• Loneliness, validation, and identity• How isolation reshapes ambition and growth• Reframing success without external applauseSubscribe for honest conversations about growth, transitions, and the realities of living in the messy middle of life.
24 FEB 2026 · Forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting — and it isn’t a one-time decision. In this episode, Jamila explores what forgiveness really looks like when the hurt still lives in your body, your memory, and your boundaries.This conversation unpacks the messy middle of forgiveness: choosing peace without minimizing harm, releasing resentment without forcing reconciliation, and telling the truth about what happened without letting it define you. For many Black women, forgiveness comes with pressure — to be gracious, resilient, spiritually mature, and “over it” — even when the damage was never acknowledged.This episode speaks to anyone navigating forgiveness after betrayal, emotional harm, family wounds, or long-standing hurt. We talk about anger, compassion, boundaries, grief, and the quiet work of healing that doesn’t come with closure or apologies.This is not a conversation about excusing behavior or rushing the process. It’s about forgiving in a way that protects your dignity, honors your experience, and allows you to move forward without erasing the truth.This episode is for you if: • You’re trying to forgive but still feel hurt or angry • You don’t want reconciliation, but you want peace • You’re learning to set boundaries instead of bleeding quietly • You’re healing without apologies or closure • You’re redefining forgiveness on your own termsIf this resonates, take a breath and honor where you are. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be clean or complete to be real.
Welcome to The Messy Middle. This is where we talk about what it means to live in the in-between—between healing and wholeness, clarity and confusion, exhaustion and hope. I’m Mila,...
show more
Welcome to The Messy Middle. This is where we talk about what it means to live in the in-between—between healing and wholeness, clarity and confusion, exhaustion and hope. I’m Mila, a self-actualization coach who works with Black millennial women navigating the aftermath of betrayal, burnout, and hard decisions. You won’t find perfection here. You’ll find honesty. You’ll find yourself. New podcast episodes drop Tuesdays. Subscribe if you’re looking for real conversations about what it takes to keep going—even when you’re still figuring it out.
show less
Information
| Author | Jamila |
| Organization | Jamila |
| Categories | Society & Culture |
| Website | www.spreaker.com |
| - |
Copyright 2026 - Spreaker Inc. an iHeartMedia Company
