Forget all this 'unplugged' stuff - this is me on my uke - 'plugged in' - heavier than King Kong's poo after him not having 'been' for a week!

Yes - this is my parody of the KISS track 'Lick It Up' but done on less strings, plus there's only one of me, so I reckon I've done a good job despite lacking talent or aptitude.

Any road - here am the lyrics!

"Pick It Up"

Your dog's just cacked and someone could tread in it
Don't be a tw... twonk, why don't you bag it and bin it
Don't be a nasty pastie, listen to me
It's not too hard, it's easy you see
You can buy nappy bags for about 30p

[Chorus:]
Pick it up, pick it up, just bag that sh*te now
Pick it up, pick it up, ooh yeah
Pick it up, pick it up, come on, come on
Pick it up, pick it up

There's nothing worse than standing in dog poo
It's hard to scrape it from the bottom of your shoes
It won't kill you so just pick it up -
Pick it up, pick it up
Don't believe 'em when they say 'muck for luck'
So please don't be a right Mucky Pup

[chorus]