Nerf dart gun at school will get you expelled or suspended. Why? Because “Anything readily capable of lethal use or inflicting serious bodily injury” is prohibited on campus. Right... because so many LETHAL and SERIOUS bodily injuries have occurred as a result of FOAM darts. Ridiculous!

Man-on-the-street crazies say John Boehner should resign because of deflate-gate. People won't say "I don't know!" CLUELESS!

Xander Gibb talks about Political Ideology of Subterfuge: If we get them all to hate each other, they won't notice what we're doing over here. It's Xandermonium!

Teacher apologizes for banning faith from inspirational assignment. Lesson...you CAN be inspired by your religion! And if they try to stop you, make some noise. We still have the 1st Amendment!