Finally, there's the Transcendental Variation, from Transylvania, which causes those infected to sit peacefully, silently repeat a mantra, and in moments of transcendence, experience a state of pure consciousness. As far as Covid variants go, it's actually not that bad, but for obvious reasons you should still avoid Transylvanian bats. Be safe, people.
Neighbor on Nicholl
3 years ago
LMAO
Tyson
3 years ago
The Micronation Variation, from the Basque region, causes those infected to try to get their local areas to form an independent country. Cases have already been found in small airports in Northern California and Southern Oregon, where it has been dubbed the Jefferson Airplane Variation.
Tyson
3 years ago
The Bourne Variation, found in Monaco, causes epidemiologists, both professional and armchair, to name variants in the style of Robert Ludlum novels. The former recommend ventilation; the latter urge hyperventilation. This has led to a split known as the Chesterfield Bifurcation.
Neighbor on Nicholl
3 years ago
Are you making these up, because they're genius
Tyson
3 years ago
The Giant Subterranean Snake-Tongue Variation (AKA Graboid Variation), discovered in the Vatican basement, is self-explanatory. Postpone any non-essential necropolis trips.
Philip Rosenthal
3 years ago
Goldberg variation...GREAT... now Taylor Green will blame the Jews
Tyson
3 years ago
There's the Variation Variation, detected in the Vatican, which causes those infected to become obsessed with Covid variants. It leads sufferers to become anxious, paranoid, and eventually convinced that Covid will mutate into that thing from Tremors.