It’s time for PerfBytes News of The Damned for May 5th, 2014. Satan once again kicks of a round of impressive stories of website and system crashes from around the world. We pay credit to a drunken ticket sales site, Ted Nugent, Hello Kitty, miraculous tandem web server configurations, and Man United - all of whom have the unfortunate luck, or lack thereof, to be joining us this week! And we learn about typical ASP.NET page design, unprepared lack of load balancing and how a CDN might not solve all your problems. As Vincent Price once said: “Bwaaahhaaahaahaaaaaaa!”