How can you distinguish between being under water and being above water? You can't if you're compulsively busy. You can't if you mitigate and desensitize the few spare moments where you find yourself with nothing to do and no one to talk to. You can't if you feel superior to others more often than not. You can't if you defense your crankiness. You can't if you think the world conspires against you. You already drowned yourself.