You often hear that it’s all about first impressions. I believe that’s a crock of crap!

First impressions or fake impressions usually. Because when you meet a person for the first time you’re not really meeting the real person. You only meet the real person after you have given that person what they want from you.

When you give a person what they want from you, they no longer have a desire to impress you as they once did.

Everybody hides behind a mask when it comes to first impressions. I believe in the philosophy that I call farting on the first date.

Of course I’m speaking metaphorically. But what I mean is that when you date someone eventually you’re going to pass gas in front of them. So my theory is that you might as well do it on the first date. Metaphorically speaking.