Ade hosts a special episode centered around Ramadan on today's show! She lists a few ways to support your fasting co-workers and helpfully breaks down a handful of terms and phrases associated with Ramadan that you might hear this month.




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TRANSCRIPT

Ade: What's up, y'all? This is Ade, and you're listening to Living Corporate. So for those of you who have heard of Ramadan but have never had a co-worker or friend or family member who goes through that process every year, or maybe you do but you don't quite know what it means or you have questions as to what happens, this one's for you. So what is Ramadan? Ramadan is fundamentally two things. One, it is a period that varies from year to year--because the Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar--that Muslims go through in order to fulfill a tenet of the faith. During this month, it's not just about fasting, although that's a significant part of it, from sunrise to sunset. Muslims refrain from eating food and drinking water, but there are also other components of this month that go beyond fasting. So it is also a time of prayer, of spirituality, of reflection, and also of community. Every night when you break your fast or in the morning [?], there is a process in which you spend time with your friends and your family members. Generally it's not uncommon that you're also going through this process alone, which isn't the greatest experience in my opinion. So if you're alone during Ramadan, I hope you're able to find a community near you. So you might have heard your coworkers say that they are tired if they're fasting during this month. That's because, in general, people will wake up around 4:00 a.m. in order to, you know, eat and drink some water, get settled for the day, and pray the morning prayers, and also are staying up pretty late in the evening to break their fast, to commune, to gather their family and friends, but also go to--if they are--I think this is a Sunni Muslim thing only, but if they're Sunni--if [?] is listening, please drop a line. Let us know if I'm wrong. I'm not quite sure, but Sunni Muslims go through this thing called [?]. It's late night prayers essentially. So while fasting itself is obligatory, you don't necessarily have to fast to also observe Ramadan. There are people who can't fast, who are either sick, or--traveling's a big one, or breast-feeding, or for people who have periods. You don't fast during your period. But there are also other components of the month that are special. So you--like I said before, you get to experience these late night prayers. You are also supposed to be--it's this internal time of reflection where you're supposed to be experiencing humility, and you're supposed to be a little bit extra--an extra sprinkle of patience. I mean, imagine that you're going 16, 17, 18 hours without eating or drinking water, which is actually a bigger deal than you might realize. But you're going through all of these things, and you're also trying to empathize with people who, you know, Ramadan is their daily life. You're attempting to extend yourself to others, to be more patient, be kind, be more humble. All of these components are an inherent part of Ramadan. You're also supposed to restrain yourself, right? Like, you don't get to have a lot of the physical pleasures that you experience, and so how does this, you know, reflect on who you are at work? Well, I know for myself I'm a pretty caffeine-reliant person, so imagine me at work at 9:00 a.m. meetings when I'm expected to perform at my best and I don't have, you know, my drug of choice, caffeine. I don't have--I haven't had water in a very long time. My head hurts. I'm probably tired. So part of Ramadan for people who are in Corporate America, in corporate spaces, and in, you know, just general is that you're spending a lot of time setting expectations before and during Ramadan. I know that I had a conversation with my team leads and my manager saying, "Hey, Ramadan's coming up. During the month on Fridays, I will not be here. I will be working remotely so that I can, you know, have that extra time to make it to [Jamaat?] prayers, or I will be, you know, a little bit crankier during the month. You know, not taking my frustrations out on people, but I'll be a little bit less perky essentially. I won't have water, I won't have food, and I certainly will not have caffeine, so be patient with me. And I also am a little bit more diligent during this month with writing everything down, because part of what fasting does is it affects your concentration, it affects your mental acuity, so I try to be extra diligent with that as well. And just being able to say, "Hey, these are the things that I'm experiencing. Thank you in advance for your patience and your support throughout this. This is what I need. This is what I don't need. It's really okay for you to eat in front of me in meetings. I'm not gonna be mad, and I'm not gonna Hulk smash anything." Setting those expectations I think makes them easier on everyone around you. So let's talk about--I'm doing this all by myself so it feels a little odd, but let's talk about what it means to be a supportive co-worker or supportive friend for those who aren't Muslims, aren't going through Ramadan. I also know that there are people who are non-Muslims who like to show solidarity with their partners or their friends or their family members by fasting along, and y'all are dope. So what does it mean to be supportive? I would say if you are in a leadership position, if you are in a management position, I would start by making some concessions. Allow maybe people to work a few extra days remotely this month. I would, you know, not schedule a whole ton of intense meetings, particularly near the end of the day. Closer to the beginning of the day is better, and that's because, you know, if I ate at 4:00 a.m., 12:00 is still a good time to talk to me. 3:00 p.m.? Eh, okay. 4:30 p.m.? You're definitely pushing it, you know? Again, think about this as this person's had not as much sleep as they typically do, they're under--they're working with much less mental stimulation, probably low blood sugar, and they're also making an extra effort at this time to be extra patient and extra kind. So meet them halfway. It's cool. So what are some ways you can support your co-worker at work? I think that, for most people, it's relatively easy to notice the ways in which you can support your co-workers, because it's just about being considerate. Let people work a few extra days remotely if possible. Yeah, just be flexible with their schedule, because it's often easier to come into work earlier than it is to stay later. Don't plan any extra meetings or make meetings extra long, because your concentration is pretty much shot throughout the month providing a space for people to reflect and pray if it's possible, because even if they're not ultra-externally religious over the course of the whole year, Ramadan is an extra special time, and it is a time during which most people that I know personally just take some time to reflect and to just kind of self-check, and it's really nice having a space where, you know, you can retreat while still also being accessible at work. So that's nice. Also, it's okay to still have food-based events. I know that we have birthday cakes for co-workers and things like that. Sometimes there are, like, potlucks during the month, and nobody [?] would ever ask you to stop that during the month of Ramadan. Just because I'm fasting doesn't mean that everybody else needs to. In fact, it's really great if there's--if people are having birthday cakes and they're like, "Save me a slice for later," 'cause I have, like, cake to look forward to, and who doesn't like having cake to look forward to? I'm generally going to say also that it's okay to ask how people are doing. It's okay to ask, you know, how people are holding up, what they're experiencing. It's not okay to say things like--that are condescending or dismissive in general, because, I mean, these are just basic rules of engagement when it comes to working with people, but it's not okay to minimize people. Like, "Yeah, I fasted." Like, "I've been intermittent fasting," or "I've been doing this intermittent fasting for a couple of weeks now. I know what you're going through," because truth is, yes, you have been fasting for several weeks, and not to minimize your experiences, but just to say that we are not experiencing the same thing, and it's okay to recognize that. In 2019 I'm gonna give up saying "um" so frequently. Thank you so much for your patience, y'all. And definitely allowing time to celebrate after Ramadan's done. So Ramadan ends with Eid--I think this year it's supposed to end on the fourth or the fifth of June. We are not sure because, again, lunar calendar, and there's a whole thing. Go ahead and--I encourage you to look into Eid and the end of Ramadan and what that means. Yeah, allow your co-workers to take time off to celebrate the end of Eid. It's often a time of celebration with family members. And think about it. People look forward to this time of year. It's this incredible time where you are exercising more discipline than you've shown during the year. It's like--for me personally I describe it as, like, a spiritual reset, when throughout the year I experience things and life gets more and more overwhelming or I surround myself with things that are not necessarily edifying, and there are things that are often toxic that you don't realize are toxic around you and in your space, and you just get to release all of those things through the things that you read and the things that you recite over the course of the month. I say all of that to say that this is a month o