You know what I realized this week? I realized—and I can’t deny it—the older I get the more and more I only want to spend what precious time I have left with powerful people.

I know that may, at first, sound very insensitive or even elitist, or sorta “old man grumpy,” but by powerful people I don’t mean financially powerful or influential or even physically or intellectually powerful. By powerful I don’t mean people with extraordinary abilities or people who aren’t hurting or people who aren’t small and helpless (because we’re all small and helpless) or people who life has never dealt a devastating blow. And by powerful I most definitely don’t mean people who’ve figured it all out or who don’t need our help or who’ve never felt burning hot tears on their face as they scream and shake their fist at God in anger and frustration and despair.

Turns out, I have only one definition of what a powerful person is:

A powerful person is someone who takes responsibility for their own life, for their own choices, for their own attitudes and desires.

Even when life is beyond their control. No, especially when life is beyond their control. Even when what they’re going through is unjust, unfair, or just plain old someone else’s fault, powerful people take responsibility for themselves. Powerful people own their lives, without reservation, without blame, without excuse.

I love being with people who own their lives because people who own their lives always make time to become interesting people. I love being near those people because I’m here to live my life to the fullest too and folks who aren’t—folks who spend their days looking for excuses not to live—are, quite frankly, tedious.

I was telling Tina yesterday, it seems to me a lot of people my age are doing everything they can to avoid their mid-life crisis. Why push it off and pretend everything turned out the way you wanted? Why deny you’re feeling stuck? I get that you may not have any control over what happens outside of you next, but why pretend like you have no power over what happens next on the inside?

It’s your life. Your one life. Own it. Let the crisis come. Let it drop you to your knees. Let it shake everything up, and if need be, let it burn everything down. And then—when you wake up tomorrow morning sitting on the ash heap of your unwanted circumstances and past mistakes—own it. Just own it. Then stand up and own your decision for what happens next.

It’s why we find underdogs and people with incredible disadvantages and disabilities who nevertheless hold their hearts and heads high so damn inspiring. Because life has taken so much of their power, and yet, they still have the real power. The hidden power. The only power that ever, ever, ever matters …

They’ve owned their lives, and they’ve decided to live their lives, come what may.


I don’t know what your circumstance is, but I know if you’re listening to these words right now it means you’re still here and you still have the choice to take responsibility for your life, to own your life, and to get busy building yourself a beautiful life.