Tina has been wanting to make a tweak to our dining room even though it’s only been about a year since we wrapped up a major remodel of our own home, including the dining room, and before that the plan itself was in the design phase for about two years. We took our time to make sure we were getting everything right, and we did. No regrets. We love what we’ve done. It’s very … us … which is exactly what a custom home should be. Despite the fact that I make my living designing multi-million dollar estates, our cottage is not the pinnacle of luxury or haute couture. The grand view of the master bedroom says it all. By design, when you look out our bedroom windows you see … chickens .. and that’s just fine.

So after two years in the planning and about a year in execution we’ve pretty much transformed our little home into something unrecognizable from it’s hastily erected 1958 tract house origins. Nevertheless, Tina has had an ongoing mental itch about the dining room, and she was right, so I spent the better part of yesterday adding some 5’ tall Oxford-style wainscot paneling to it. Tina is painting it all today and, what can I say, it looks great.

While she was filling nail holes and sanding this morning I wandered into the front yard (which has also undergone some changes recently) and I finally saw the exact form for our driveway. Our house had an old cracked asphalt driveway when we bought it which I almost immediately tore out and replaced with pea gravel. And pea gravel is what we’ve been parking on ever since. It’s a bit of a mess sometimes but it’s attractive and gets the job done and most importantly it has freed us to shape and reshape the driveway again and again as the cottage has evolved until now, some 18 years later, when I’m finally pretty much convinced of its final form.

Yes, after just one year we added even more detail to the dining room and we’ve been experimenting with the driveway for 18 years.

Why? Why not?

Here are two things that are true about our home … In 18 years there have been very few days we weren’t experimenting on it, and in 18 years there have been very few days when we and our guests haven’t felt right at home.

Every day I talk with people who are so anxious to get done, get done, get done. It seems we are less and less inclined these days to take the time to let things evolve and mature. Now, obviously I’m not saying your remodel should take 18 years. But if it did … would that be the worst thing?

A home is an experiment. A home is a work constantly in progress. Why? Because your life is an experiment!

There’s never been another you. You are a custom one of a kind original that has taken all this time just to get to today. What’s the rush to finish? In my opinion we should all be remodeling everyday, always. That’s growth. That’s what it means to evolve and become. Yes it’s messy. Yes there’s dust. Yes, sometimes you have to wait 18 years to finally figure out what that one part of you should look like. Yes, there are parts of your life you just changed last year that already need to be changed again. But hey, change and growth and becoming is what it means to be alive. The only things that never change are those which are forever consigned to the past. Tombs don’t change. You are not ready for a tomb yet.

So all I’m here to say, about your home and your life, is … What’s the rush? Embrace the dust. Enjoy the process. Take your time and get it right. That, in my opinion, is how you go about building yourself a beautiful life.