Don't Let Divorce Define You
The pain of divorce is real.

I've spent a lot of time on this podcast discussing how to deal with the aftermath of divorce. Today I want to turn the discussion toward your future.

I'm a fan of Disney movies and one of my favorites is "The Lion King". If you're not familiar with it, "The Lion King" is the story of Simba, the son of Mufasa, King of the Pride Lands. Simba's uncle Scar murder's Mufasa and convinces Simba that Mufasa's death was his fault.

The young Simba runs away. He meets Timon, a meerkat, and Pumbaa, a warthog. They can tell that something is wrong and ask if there is anything they can do. Simba responds with "not unless you can change the past." At this point Timon and Pumbaa tell him to put his past behind him. Simba takes their advice and we see him grow to adulthood with them and living a seemingly carefree life.

Eventually Simba's childhood friend Nala comes to find help because Scar has destroyed the Pride Lands. When confronted with the devastation that Nala is describing, Simba intially resists going back but is eventually convinced to go back and confront Scar. Simba rallys the other lions, defeats Scar, and takes his rightful place as king of the Pride Lands.
So what does this have to do with divorce?
Well, it is nearly impossible to come through a divorce without some significant scars. And just like Simba we often let those scars define us. We blame ourselves for the divorce when it's not justified. We won't forgive ourselves if we caused it. We think of ourselves as damaged goods.

We can't seem to get past the hurt and we let that cloud our vision of the future. We find an emotional place that's comfortable and stay there. We can't see that the future is full of hope and we can't see the opportunities before us. All we can see is this fog of despair that is around us and we think things will never get better.

In Isaiah 43:18-19 God tells the Israelites "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

If you are reading this, it's likely that you either are divorced or soon will be.

Life has changed for you in many ways that make it extremely difficult not to dwell on the past; however, if you continue to live your life based on things that you have done or things that were done to you, you will never break free from those past hurts and move on to what God has in store for you next.

You are no longer married.

The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on to whatever is in store for you. I believe what Paul said in Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." In all things, even divorce, God is working for your good. As he said in Isaiah, He will make a way through the desert.

There is hope for a better tomorrow. "For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan to take everything that has happened to you. Everything, including your divorce, and ultimately work it together for your good in a way that will prosper you.

In other words, just like I say at the beginning of every podcast episode, you can come through the divorce process a better person. I can personally attest to this. I am definitely an overall better person now than I was before my divorce. And I can definitely say that I am filled with hope and my future looks very bright.

This was not an easy process. It took some intense soul searching and self examination but now I am no longer defined by my divorce. My goal is to help you reach that same place. A place where your divorce is just a distant memory and you can see your future before you and you are filled with hope.

It will not be an easy process for you.