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38. Missing Them Doesn't Equal Getting Back Together

38. Missing Them Doesn't Equal Getting Back Together
Feb 13, 2022 · 12m 25s

You may miss someone; you may miss everything you’ve experienced with the person you’ve loved so much and wish you could relive these moments. And you wonder why it all...

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You may miss someone; you may miss everything you’ve experienced with the person you’ve loved so much and wish you could relive these moments. And you wonder why it all ended... you fill your mind and thoughts with tons of unnecessary ifs and buts, trying hopelessly to figure out why things had to end this way. Could it have been something to do with you, with them, with the universe, with their dog, with...? What would have happened if...? Should we get back together? The dilemma is real! But nostalgia doesn’t necessarily mean you want to find that lousy prick who made you feel that way. Missing someone who has ghosted you or someone you’ve removed from your life can be complicated as fuck. Sometimes it involves satisfaction and relief, sometimes it’s accompanied by a twinge of pain and regret, and sometimes it involves anger and the need to revenge. But honey, you have to realise that some people only appear in our lives for a limited time; we experience good and bad times with them and then part ways. When we miss them, it’s good to remember the two sides of the story. There was a reason it ended in the first place. Keeping your distance helps you resist the temptation to go back – because, deep down, you know you don’t wanna go back into that shitty, crappy, unfulfilling relationship or friendship. You may miss the person or the story that brought you together, but this significantly affects the meaning of your memories. Sometimes you don’t want that stink ass saphead to come back, but you want to enjoy the good ol’ times again. However, remember that it doesn’t have to be with the same person again. You can relive part of the story and create better memories with another person.  When you start again with someone you already know, someone with whom you’ve shared part of your past or someone with whom you try to relive moments from another time, you start from a whole different point. And this has nothing to do with living or feeling the same shit again – I’m telling that from personal experiences. I’ve suffered a lot, thinking that I could start over. Because at some point, what I was missing was the good old times and how we used to be. But getting back together ain’t the same in any way! And that’s where you need to distinguish between missing the person and missing the memories. When stories end, they just fucking end. Yes, this may sound harsh, but it’s the brutal truth. So even if we wanna repeat the same thing with the same trashy person, it will NEVER EVER be the same. Because people mature, grow and develop and therefore will never come back to the same point – ever. So, on this note, let’s learn to leave the memories in our minds and savour the flavour they’ve left behind. Let us re-feel them when we close our eyes, when our eyes are filled with tears, sometimes thinking about how it’s no longer there. But at the same time, let’s be happy that it all happened, and they’re still here in us, in some way or another. We are all made up of our memories, and that’s why we must live them that way. So allow yourself to miss things. But if it’s gonna hurt like hell, just leave it there. Don’t try to repeat or force something that no longer exists. You may miss it, but you may not want it back. It’s high time to draw a line and move on if we make a decision based solely on nostalgia. Let’s stop thinking about the past and open our eyes to discover what the future has in store for us. The people who left will undoubtedly remain in our hearts, minds and emotions, but those who are waiting to walk our path will want us to open our arms wide to them. ❤️😍
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Author Nazia Keenoo
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