Following the not-at-all-seen-from-a-million-miles-away tragic crash of Col. Steve Austin, he wakes to find himself a little the worse for wear, much in the same way that Anakin Skywalker was a little the worse for wear after his fight with Obi Wan on that weird volcano planet. 

What were we talking about? OH, YEAH!

So, you'll never guess who the government decides to use for their super-secret bionics program. Never in a millio--oh, yeah. How'd you guess? Damn, you're good!

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