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Old Wives

  • Explicit

    Horny Diplomacy

    18 OCT 2022 · It's a two-parter finale, so strap in. First, we've got Casey in Denmark to find a prince who uses his alt account to lure the disillusioned idealist princess who doesn't want to marry. Then, we've got Amy in Russia where a third sister disappears, and the entire town follows the prophecy of a pipe whistle foretelling her return. The important thing is, now more than ever: this is Old Wives. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    1h 7m 32s
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    My Guitar Gently Reaps

    4 OCT 2022 · We're in Poland today where three Sons make their barebones living ferrying people across a river. The youngest gets a purse that's always full, and a mermaid wife to boot, and it's all coming up roses for a minute. That is, until the local king decides to send him on a few errands. Join us for a collection of side-quests in the shape of a story that ends with some truly spectacular comeuppance. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    36m 9s
  • Explicit

    Go To Horny Jail

    27 SEP 2022 · Today we're in Sicily for a spicy tale about a gullible eldest brother with a purse that's always full of gold. His intended yoinks it, leaving him poor and bereft, but lucky for him, he's got two other brothers with magical items he can borrow. She takes those off him too, though, and it seems like curtains for him until he lands in a mysterious fig tree with fruit that just might help him get his fortune and his fiance back. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    35m 5s
  • Explicit

    But the Cat Came Back

    20 SEP 2022 · Today we're in Ireland where the king of giants goes up against one persistent cat. There's a princess in the giant's tower, of course, with one hundred fire-barking dogs keeping her inside. There's also a prince with a white cat familiar. The cat tells the prince he'll have to ignore his hunger to get to the princess, but he hasn't had lunch today, so it's anyone's game. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    36m 46s
  • Explicit

    Mo Monkey Mo Problems

    13 SEP 2022 · Today we're in India to hear about a village with a little problem. They don't like doing chores, and they're tired of moving the whole village when the laundry pile gets too big. Fortunately, in wanders a man with a solution. He whittles some helpers that can do any task a village needs to keep itself running. They're amazing little creatures, except that they are wooden objects cursed with sentience that sleep in your home. Certainly that won't backfire. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    28m 9s
  • Explicit

    Declassified: Haypennies, volume 5

    6 SEP 2022 · We took this week off for the (US) holiday weekend. Be back with a new episode next week, plus an extra for patrons. Speaking of patron episodes, here's one from the vault that dropped December of 2020. Back then we described it thus: New month, new fairy tale shorts for our dear Patrons! And as usual, we're all over the place. We've got an ass that lays money, a boy who turns to stone, the origin of the Christmas tree, and, of course, small dumb animals working together. We don't say this lightly: it might be the weirdest collection yet. It's what the monkey's paw would want. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    49m 7s
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    Living Dead Worm

    30 AUG 2022 · Today we're in Japan for a rich-brother-poor-brother story with a few unexpected twists. Poor Brother gets some dead silkworm eggs from Rich Brother, only to have them hatch like normal. The zombie silkworms get to work as a flock of sparrows settles oddly in the rice field. Poor Brother follows the flock to a mossy glen filled with fairy children wielding a mallet, and that's when things get weird. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    27m 14s
  • Explicit

    Drink Me a River

    23 AUG 2022 · We're in Egypt today, sampling the wares of three wells and watching as an old woman curses a young boy with a propehcy. He follows the prophecy deep into ogre territory, until he finds a tower containing the correct princess and joins a mini-game of Rapunzel already in progress. They escape with the help of three standard-issue magic items, but not before being turned into a bird and a dog. Tune in to find out if he'd still love his girlfriend if she got turned into a worm. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    37m 39s
  • Explicit

    The Brotherhood of the Traveling Brothers

    16 AUG 2022 · We're in Turkey today, where 40 brothers are on a quest to find 40 sisters to marry. They find them after the youngest brother tangles with a couple of pesky dragons that lead him down a well or two, and eventually to a sidequest in another kingdom. It's there he'll find his future wife, which leaves us with an extra sister. Join us to solve a complicated math equation! For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    29m 27s
  • Explicit

    Doctor Feelbad

    9 AUG 2022 · We're in China today, where a rich man's son squanders a fortune or three. When he finally learns his lesson, his mysterious wizard benefactor decides it's time to level him up. The wizard gives him some pills and tells him not to scream, which is always a good start to a sidequest. When he finally comes to, he's lived a whole second life. But will he ever get back to it? For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.
    30m 21s

Amy Stephenson and Casey Childers are writers who like to tell stories. So we're telling each other fairy tales the way they were meant to be heard—deeply editorialized and with...

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Amy Stephenson and Casey Childers are writers who like to tell stories. So we're telling each other fairy tales the way they were meant to be heard—deeply editorialized and with plenty of commentary (and cursing). New episode every Tuesday. Join us at Patreon.com/OldWivesPod for essays and sources.
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