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It's Not Me, It's Absolutely You!

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    Episode #12 - Paper Tiger

    30 MAR 2020 · Tantric, L.A. Guns, Ratt, Alcatrazz, The Socialites, Xanax, She Said She Found Her Soulmate, Jardin Du Luxembourg, Sean Lennon & Charlotte Kemp Muhl, Yamaha Thailand, Tony Lewis, Private events, Humbolt Park Lagoon Celebrity Alligator, Donnie Vie Beautiful Things, Countyline Tavern, Quarantine Stand Up, FB Live, #stayhome, Cannon, Everyone is offended, Hate-Like/ Woke, Millennials, Australia, The Patch music: Drugs in the Mix – Johnny Monaco music: Miss Amber – Johnny Monaco
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    Episode #11 - Starbucks Jesus

    25 DEC 2017 · Virtue Signaling, pinning for attention & sympathy, Donnie Vie is Charles Manson, Enuff Z’nuff & touring, talking about dicks, “i’m writing a book”, cover bands should be better, it’s all your fault & you’re not as good as you think you are, “I’m gonna do...”, ideas are nothing, Starbucks Jesus, girls at tables talking, Amazon returns @ Kohl’s, Kids Words, i usually never grope without consent, forensic files, choosing health care is like going to KFC, my MRI, Charlotte Kemp Muhl & UNI, Haters Back Off!, i’m starting a NEW band (i think), looking for inspiration. music: Alien Days – MGMT Why incompetent people think they're amazing – David Dunning UNI Haters Back Off!
    52m 56s
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    Episode #10 - SUMMER Of LIES

    20 JUL 2017 · "Johnny Monaco is a LOSER!” – Chip Z’nuff – Raging Bull – Z'UMP – L.A. Guns @ ARCADA – DONNIE VIE is Crazy – Overrated vs Unknown – SongDivison Chicago – The Socialites – Maytag – LAS VEGAS/ The Limit Mandalay Bay – The Car Wash took my $2.25 – “I highly recommended it” – Wrigley’s Extra Time To Shine – Uber vs Taxi – Kids on Bikes – SOCKS – Post Office – Panda Express – Vocal Coaches – I threw up the other day – She’s Leaving Home Video – I got fired from BRIO – Mr Big @ ARCADA – Fran Cosom/ Boston – St Charles / Motorcycle / River / Rocket Fizz – My Car – APPROVED! – MY Birthday! - Summer/ Bushes / Motorcycle / RV – Jewel – Dog barking – She Said She Found Her Soulmate – Cambodia - Thailand - Vietnam – Laos – Speakeasy @ ARCADA – I Met Corey Feldman – Metropolitan Square – Kevin Rankin, my mom, Peter & Cathy Kuehl – Little kids walk right up to me & start talking – Mickey Finn’s – 4th of July! – The Drive Way – Working on the Motorcycle –TEKKIES – I still think I wanna move to Las Vegas music: Do You Feel It? (Rick and Morty Auto Erotic Assimilation Song) Chaos Chaos
    57m 39s
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    Episode #9 - Always Consider The Source

    21 APR 2017 · Always consider the source, people tell you what you want to hear, AIRPORT, booger eating flicker, i’m thinking of moving to Las Vegas, Planet Hollywood, i got kicked out of the World’s Largest Souvenir Store, I got a haircut, Enuff Z’Nuff at Vamp’d, Scot Coogan’s house, COBRA ZEBRA & Brendan Scholz, Trains, CUBS WIN, The Hurting Kind, Starbucks, girls in stretchy pants & panhandling, people imposing their will, Crows, Home Depot is for the birds, the Knee Brace commercial, i won a raffle at Durty Nellies, I bought & returned another amp, “I’m not playing with you anymore!”, Guitar Center “what brings you in today chief?”, i wanna be in Breaking Bad for real, Robot Sex Doll, Twilight Zone ‘Take Over Marathon’, cold fries at McDonald’s, SD San Antonio, $1 Store, Solo Acoustic PR Video, I’ve been unmotivated lately. music: Go All The Way – Raspberries
    25m 44s
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    Episode #8 - 6 Months Ago

    21 APR 2017 · Why I Quit Enuff Z’nuff – I Had A Girlfriend – AXES & ANCHORS – I Married a SHARK! – Underground Space Stations – I Bought a Les Paul – Johnny Monaco & The Socialites – 27 Shows in July! – Hot Rollers – Chip Came Over – Why I Cut Everyone Off – My BDAY – I Bought a Few Guitars – Voicemail Box = FULL – FB Fake Profiles – I Bought a Motorcycle – My Bank Sucks – Tree Trimming – I almost bit my tongue off – Paul Stanley: “He’s an Enigma” – Driving to the gigs is a lot of work – Lenny’s Wedding – 4th of July – God will show you the way – Walmart – Metropolitan Square – EXXXOTICA – Train Tracks – FUCK TED NUGENT – Woman’s Golf – STRANGER THINGS/ walkie talkies – Juicing on day 64 at STARBUCKS – My car seat – I DROVE OVER MY GUITAR! – SongDivision Chicago – Mr. President! – Secret Societies & The Banks – Vaping – 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! music: I Still Have That Other Girl – Elvis Costello
    1h 7m 13s
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    Episode #7 - Hello Jesus It's Me

    24 DEC 2015 · Hello Jesus, Thanksgiving is over, “Table For Two”, Indians & caves drawings, We all came from the stars, LITERALLY, It’s like a magic act, 1500 years, The Most Dangerous Mind Set Ever, Chip’s Thanksgiving texts, “Enjoy The Fruits of Your Dinner”, I must be secretly hated, “You’re negative”, Text me back!, Staples, Doubling Down & F off 2015, I wanna be on Vanderpump Rules, Dating Isn’t My Thing & “I’m a perfectionist”, Tacos, Zit Kit, What are you looking at!?, EZN @ Star Bar, SD Boston, Ryan Vander Sanden, Bret Michaels, You need to be more positive, Jason Becker, NYE @ The Rockbar/ San Jose. music: Let’s Set Our Hearts @ Self-Destruct – Johnny Monaco
    37m 46s
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    Episode #6 - You're All Equally Good

    23 NOV 2015 · The Windy City, I Have No Friends, Facebook Crazy, National Cat Day, The GYM, Amazing & Killing it, nobody wants to hurt a cat, blessed & lucky, Chip’s VM & Cheers, You’re All Equally Good, Timber isn’t Tinder, FARGO, The Purge II kinda sucked, my relationship with Starbucks, talking loudly in restaurants, Coast to Coast, Anunnaki, You Took Too Long, Hey football my eyes are up here, Halloween is for raising the dead and maybe a seance, DETROIT, the gigs been canceled, Thanksgiving is fun but not for turkeys & Indians. music: So Into Me So Into You – Johnny Monaco
    35m 42s
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    Episode #5 - SEPTEMBER

    20 OCT 2015 · Fall is Romantic, SongDivision, Chatanooga & BOSTON, Home Depot, Yngwie licks & TV, Genuine Music, Demon Eye, Hairbanger’s Ball, Blood Moon, Ties, I Injured My Penis, Wrigleyville, Cheap Kiss Records, EZN Shows, Pittsburgh, Mickey Finn’s, Brian Grano, Captain Coopersmith, Columbus Day, Starbucks & Surgery, Upcoming shows & Loudness music: Si tu vois ma mère (from Midnight in Paris) – Sidney Bechet, Either Side of The Same Town – Elvis Costello, Mickey Finn’s Brewery – Johnny Monaco, Kings & Queens – Johnny Monaco
    41m 15s
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    Episode #4 - FARM ROCK 2015

    12 SEP 2015 · My three days at FARM ROCK CHICAGO 2015! (Does this Les Paul make me look fat?) Kids have iPhones & Nuno Bettencourt doesn't like me. 'Hello ROCKLAHOMA!' music: On Our Way - Johnny Monaco, Head In The Clouds - Johnny Monaco
    37m 7s
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    Episode #3 - Las Vegas (Pt. 2)

    8 SEP 2015 · It's Not Me, It's Absolutely You! Networking & Restaurants – Locals – I Like Going To Pools – She’s a Hooker and That’s No Pimp – The Pool At Caesars Palace – I Locked Myself Out of The Room In My Underwear – Ryan Johnson Took Me To Lunch – The Cheap Trick Show at The Joint – My Date with Phil Lewis – Clean & Fruit – Watch & Luggage Stores – My Gig at Planet Hollywood/ Song Division – $ushi at The Cosmopolitan – KENO – More Prostitutes – The Elevator – He Evidentially Sells Cocaine – A Pillow Case, A Lamp or Your Filthy Hands – UFC – A Box For a Grand Piano – Cowtown Guitars – Peterson Tuners – Scot Coogan – Now I Have An Amp – I'm Going Home, Then What? music: Viva Las Vegas - Elvis Presley
    34m 15s
Johnny Monaco is a singer, songwriter, guitar player, necromancer & part-time SOCIALITE from Chicago, IL.
Author Johnny Monaco
Categories Comedy
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