Today we have Brett. He's is 27 years old, lives in San Francisco, CA and took her last drink on January 2, 2020.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).    Today's Sponsor: Café RE
Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    If you love our intro and outro music then check out the artist DJ NYE on Spotify, and that link is in the show notes. Also in the show notes are links to download, for free, our intro and outro music, That's with my voice sampling and ET Tolle's voice samplings.   DJ NYE on Spotify.   Intro and Outro Music. Intro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_Paul_Intro.mp3 Intro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_ET_Intro.mp3 Outro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Paul_RE_Outro.mp3 Outro Eckhart Tolle:https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Eckhart_Tolle_Outro.mp3     Today is June 28th. This Thursday, July 1st, is the start date of our intensive 13 session course for the month of July. We meet three times per week, Monday, Thursday and Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays are classroom style format, with intimate breakout rooms and Sundays are for guest speakers, Q&A, and we've for an AF Beverage workshop hosted by Kate (episode 315). We polled previous course participants and 72% of them remained alcohol free for the duration of our last course. How cool is that. You'll have course assignments and daily discussion prompts in your WhatsApp groups. This course is all about connection and having fun. Go to Recoveryelevator.com/restore or click the link in the show notes, to sign up and for more info.   And don't forget that land tortoises are the longest living animals on the planet and that TIB is still the best band in the world. One of those is fact, the other opinion but for the most part undebatable.     Okay, let's get started -   I'm going to cover two things today. 1. The importance of purposefully adding more joy into your life and 2. Recently while traveling, I came across the most vicious sports mascot ever. I still get goosebumps when I think of the deadly mascot.   Okay, let's talk about joy. And this may seem like common sense, but it's not because so many of us postpone, skip, or have forgotten about joy altogether. Like the "how to" part.  And now seems like a good time to insert a quote about joy.   "Joy does not simply happen to us - we have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." - Henri Nouwen   Let's look at a sample to do list.

1. Drop package off at post office.
2. Return mortgage papers to lender
3. Take Ben to Vet
4. Edit website copy for upcoming event.
5. Play piano.

  Now this may or may not be my to do list,  and yours may be similar,  And I'm referring to the order. I've got playing the piano last. We tell ourselves we need to get all the grown-up tasks done first. Kids, job, house, feeding the family, pets, why didn't my sprinklers turn on last night, then last on that list is US.   Here's my HARD ask of you. Make a point to do something every day that you find joyful. And here's the important part. Do it first. Before all the other stuff that has the potential to zap all the creative energy out of you.   About 3 months ago, I stared taking piano lessons. I went from chop sticks to now I can the Scientist and Clocks on the piano by Coldplay. Can't sing them yet because that's some major rubbing your tummy and patting your head type sh$t, but I'm working on it. At first, I would practice piano at the end of the day, when my mind was sometimes ready for a nap, and the mind is in high beta brain waves… borderline stressed from the day.   It worked, but some days I had to force it. Then I flipped the to-do list. I started playing the piano first thing in the morning. Before all the adulting took place. Here's what I found. When we do something we enjoy, there's a natural creative energy that arises, that makes things tolerable, even pleasant. Here's the important part. This energy, consciousness, will then overlap into the next task or project. I quickly found I was more effective at all remaining tasks for the day, and they all became more joyful. So, I try to practice piano or music every morning. This flip has had a big impact on my quality of life.   Let's tie this into sobriety. When we are doing something we enjoy, we enter into a flow state where time and our problems seem do disappear. Flow states, or when we are fully mentally immersed in a task, are healthy because we aren't thinking about how the F, we're going to quit drinking. Another way to say this, is the neural connections that fortify an addiction begin to soften and something else is strengthened, be it gardening, reading, hiking, or whatever. Again, our mental energies aren't "in" the addiction, or the "story." You're like - "A crap, this guy is back with his getting out of the story stuff again." And for the record, this will be the 245th time I've said you can't think yourself out of an addiction.   Joy solo is great, for example playing the violin. But if you have the option, play the violin with another violinist, or a cellist - bonus points.   You know how most dogs are a nudge away from playing? That's how human beings are as well, we're just living a life that's been filled with so much muck and noise that we must make a point, and effort to get back to this natural state.   If you're like, "Hey Pablo" I recently quit drinking, and I have no clue what I like to do for fun anymore. Well, that's the work. Find out again. Rule 22. Have fun and lighten up.   Okay, one more thing I want to cover, and I'm trembling with fear while I write this. On my way back from our Atlanta Meet-up, thank you Alan (episode 267) for such an awesome weekend, I saw a bunch of large dudes, in the security line at the airport. They were all wearing matching jackets,  and sweatpants, so I assumed they were part of a sports team that probably involves physical contact. On the crest of the jacket was the logo… the mascot. When I finally saw it, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was as if I was frozen, unresponsive. No, it wasn't a ferocious eagle, hawk, wolf, shark, or bear, it something much worse, much deadlier, something that would perhaps cause the other team to not even take the field. I can image players on the other team saying, my uncle died from that beast,  their mascot has destroyed my family, and so forth. So, what's the mascot? It was Martini glass. It was the professional Los Angeles Rugby team "The Giltinis." If you want to pick a mascot that leaves a devastating wake of wreckage on society,  well then, they nailed it, because my google search of has an "eagle" or "hawk" ever killed a human being, came up with nil. But alcohol on the other hand….   Okay, now let's here from Betterhelp and then we'll here from Brett.   Today's show is sponsored by Better Help.    Mental health matters, and as we continue to live through this pandemic and slowly go back to resuming activities such as going back to work or attending some social gatherings, it's important to have someone that can help us process all our emotions and life stressors. Betterhelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Betterhelp provides a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas. The platform is super easy to navigate - you can login into your account at any time and interact with your counselor by sending them a message. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses, plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Betterhelp is more affordable than the traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.   [10:38] Odette introduces Brett.   Brett took her last drink on January 2, 2020.    [11:07] How are you feeling?   Brett says she is feeling good.  Drinking feels like a very long time ago in a good way.   [11:40] Give us a little background on you.   Brett is originally from Rhode Island, but currently lives in San Francisco.  She is in tech consulting.  She is 27 and in a relationship.  She loves going to the Farmer's market, reading non-fiction, NA drinks, attending to her MANY plants and she hopes to adopt a dog this year.    [13:04] Tell us about your history with drinking   Brett had her first drink at 12 or 13 and was pre-gaming with her sister for her high school senior prom.  Her sister and a friend were drinking a clear liquid and laughing and getting a bit gigglier. She looked up to her sister, she was so cool, and Brett wanted to be part of the crowd.   At 14-15, alcohol became a social thing.   She went to a small Quaker school and early exposure to alcohol came from older siblings. Peer pressure was a big thing. Alcohol was a staple at all the parties.    Brett thought everyone was blacking out and it wasn't until age 21 that she understood you could drink without blacking out.  Her parents would pick her up from parties, then ground her and make her write essays on alcohol, how it was made, where it came from, etc.    [16:41] Where was your heart and your emotional state?   Brett said the cycle of shame k