Summary

In this episode David interviews Larry Best, a retired trial lawyer who came out 20 years into his marriage, now living a full life with his partner and husband of 20 years. Their conversation explores the coming out journey of Larry, who shares his unique story of coming out to his business partner and wife. Larry's decision to come out was driven by a combination of personal factors, including the need to be true to himself and the impact it was having on his mental health. The reactions from his business partner and wife varied, with his business partner making a joke and his wife experiencing a range of emotions. Larry's decision to get married was influenced by societal expectations and the belief that he could suppress his attraction to men. However, he eventually realized that he had been living a lie and needed to come out. The process of telling his wife and children was challenging, with mixed reactions from each family member. Larry and his wife initially tried to maintain a co-parenting relationship, but over time, their relationship deteriorated. Larry also faced challenges in his professional life, with some clients distancing themselves after learning about his sexual orientation. However, he eventually transitioned to a successful career as a plaintiff lawyer. Overall, Larry's story highlights the complexities and emotional impact of coming out and navigating relationships and careers. In this conversation, Larry shares his experience of coming out and how it changed his perception of the world. He discusses the importance of joining LGBTQ political and social organizations to connect with the community. Larry also talks about how he found his partner and offers advice for men who are at the beginning of the coming out process. He emphasizes the need for support and understanding for spouses and family members during this time.

Takeaways

• Coming out is a deeply personal and complex journey, with each individual facing unique challenges and reactions from loved ones.
• The decision to get married while suppressing one's true sexual orientation can lead to internal conflict and a sense of living a lie.
• The process of coming out can have a significant emotional impact on spouses and children, with reactions ranging from relief to anger and despair.
• Supporting loved ones through the coming out process requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to be present and listen.
• Coming out can have professional implications, with potential challenges in maintaining client relationships and navigating workplace dynamics. Coming out can change one's perception of the world and the people in it.
• Joining LGBTQ political and social organizations can provide a social network and help in meeting like-minded individuals.
• Finding a partner after coming out can take time and patience.
• Support and understanding for spouses and family members are crucial during the coming out process.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage
00:20 Unusual Coming Out Story
02:27 Reactions from Business Partner and Wife
03:31 Emotional Impact on Wife
05:45 Supporting Wife Emotionally
06:12 The Decision to Get Married
08:04 Realization of Being Gay
11:22 Fear of Coming Out
18:26 Divorce and Financial Settlement
24:45 Telling the Children
29:44 Reflections on the Coming Out Process
33:34 Impact on Business and Career
41:15 Changing Perception
44:10 Connecting with the LGBTQ Community
45:53 Finding a Partner
51:06 Advice for Men Coming Out
57:09 Supporting Spouses and Family
58:35 Understanding the Wife's Perspective
59:04 Closing Remarks

Larry Best's online memoir: https://medium.com/@laurencebest

Book Recommendation: Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life, edited by Vinnie Kinsella. https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM

Gay Fathers Worldwide: https://gayfathersworldwide.wordpress.com/

Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/uLCzcLsxCUo

Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

Contact me: david@davidcottoncoaching.com