Hello all. Welcome to the very first Doomsday Automotive Review segment. I’ve never done one of these before, and most importantly, I shouldn’t have to, but here we are.

It was originally released as part of bonus Patreon content, but I'm sharing it here with you now to buy me a few days to get the next episode together.

Since we originally brought it up, more Tesla Cybertrucks have wrapped around trees, smoked by semis, accidentally confusing the startup toggle for the self-destruct sequence. And apparently, the reason people are facing that five-hour restart time is because they activated car wash mode. Here’s the thing - as we said, you have to keep this thing as clean as hell - cleaner than anything else you own, and if you use it in a car wash without activating car wash mode - guess what happens? They void your warranty. Good thing no one who owns a Cybertruck needs to work - or they would be pretty fired for that kind of nonsense.

And the stock has continued to slump. Might have something to do with lying to shareholders about how many of these things they’ve actually sold. For clarification, they’ve sold less than half of what the original Back to the Future style Delorean did back in the day - and the Delorean is widely regarded a massive commercial flop.

Anyways I wanted to thank you all for listening. I’m sharing this with the bulk of my audience just because you deserve to be safe - physically and financially, and I am here for you. I’ll be back next week with an all new episode including two full minisodes inside the regular episode, special for my Patreon listeners.
 
I think getting episodes a little early with no sponsor interruptions and with additional, ridiculously interesting material in each new episode is worth it.   

If you agree, you can find out more at patreon.com/funeralkazoo
 
It would really help fulfill my dream of doing this full time. If you and a few thousand of your friends could spare a buck or two, you would really help keep the show – and frankly, me – alive
Also, send me your screams. I’m going to be holding 2024 auditions for future episode victims!