1 AUG 2017 · Topics include: 1) Manchester United security staff had to follow a strict 18-day booze ban during pre-season tour of the United States. What kind of "tour" is this? 2) Wayne Rooney insists he still has a burning desire to win after joining Everton and is "not coming into a retirement home". A Life Alert subscription is part of his contract though 3) Dutch team Heracles become first football club to open youth academy for a eSports team. Next stop, VR soccer 4) Former AC Milan defender Cristian Zaccardo is looking for new club on LinkedIn. Time to update our profile.

19 JUL 2017 · Topics include: 1) The League Two side Wycombe has released a keeper jersey designed to throw off opposing strikers. We have a few better ideas than what they came up with. 2) Mike Ashley has told a Court judge that he is a "power drinker" who likes to get drunk. Nothing to add here. 3) Arsene Wenger finally gets his man, Lacazette. But how did he do it? 4) A secretive American investment firm backed by Mark Zuckerberg is considering a £1B bid for Tottenham Hotspur. We "like" this news.

6 JUL 2017 · Topics include: 1) Jamie Vardy’s academy for non-league talent has its first player offered a professional contract. We're not sure if it's a soccer contract or a party contract. 2) Raheem Sterling says Manchester City must become more "streetwise" if they are to challenge for honors next season. Is this on or off the pitch? 3) Cristiano Ronaldo may have just been offered the best contract ever, free beer for life.

26 JUN 2017 · Topics include: 1) Brisbane Roar has been fined by the AFC for not providing proper meals for a group of Champions League match officials. Who wouldn't demand lobster twice a day? 2) An Argentine football player has caused outrage after admitting that he used a needle to hurt opposing players. What a prick! 3) Newcastle is named the fastest growing soccer brand in the world. Mike Ashley's underwear line must be a hit! 4) Claudio Ranieri almost missed out on Nantes due to his age! We claim ageism. 5) We are treated to a visit from an old friend, Dr. Brown.

16 JUN 2017 · Topics include: 1) The Messi Experience Park, a theme park dedicated to Lionel Messi, will open in China in 2019. Can't wait to ride the "nutmeg". 2) Manchester City VIPs will receive pre-match tactical briefings from Pep Guardiola's backroom staff before every home game. We would rather be around the post match drinking contest. 3) Does the MLS need a villain to help drive popularity? 4) A Bulgarian defender swigs beer that was thrown at him during a match. Best part, it ended up being just the boost he needed 5) Our "Get to Know the Yanks" asks, "Who do you want to play on Boxing Day?"