August 15, 2000: This low, no mountain on the horizon

I’m becoming angry, tortured…but by whose hand? Am I creating my own hell? I live in such fear of failure that I fight hard to stay positive. I keep telling people how I must stay focused—keep looking forward instead of back. I write, if anyone reads it, they’ll know it was the only creative place I could locate true peace. If I could say one thing about myself, it would be…don’t try this at home. The life I lead is that of many masks—I can be anyone I want to be anytime of the day. Some would say that it’s a dangerous game to play—I call it my current adventure.