In late 2010, a middle aged methamphetamine aficionado in a SoCal trailer park believed herself to be approaching the pinnacle of her career as a self-made cartel queen. In her estimation, she possessed the brains of Walter White, the strategic savvy of Teresa “La Reina del Pacifico” Beltran, and her own unique suburban swagger. If she needed muscle, she had men for that and she had ambition, too. She aspired to make Nipomo the criminal capital of California with herself as its CEO because she had a knack for that kind of thing.

At least that’s what the meth was telling her.

Join the crew for refreshing mimosas and the sweet smell of skunk as Khadijah relates her account of how the cartel cosplay of one delusional woman and a vendetta against a child resulted in tragedy for all.

The tale is terrible, but the company is good