24 APR 2023 · I'm at the point where I've realized that I can no longer look to something or someone outside of myself to heal myself. I've done it. It sucks. No white horses are coming to save me. I have to do the work. And for me, the work involves reexamining my beliefs, my values, and how I've shown up in relationships and asking the questions, the tough questions about what the answers to those questions are. I'm up for the challenge. Oh, and one more thing: This is a day to day process, comittment. A moment to moment exploration.

16 APR 2023 · For my it's a day to day, moment by moment cultivation of awareness. I'm becoming more and more aware of the things and people and states and emotions that aren't serving me. That are in fact bringing me down. And I can no longer afford to give those things energy. I'm at this point where I'm becoming hyper aware of the emotions and things and people that are serving me and helping me to create the future that I want. Please don't ask me to articulate what exactly that looks like because I'm not there yet! I am getting there though. And that excites me! I'll tell you about it as it comes into view!

7 APR 2023 · For the first time I find myself thinking about how the heck my life is going to unfold in the wake of this divorce. And that's crucial, because when this all went down I couldn't even imagine getting to this point. People would say, "Oh, it was the best thing that's ever happened to me," and on and on and on. And though I wouldn't necessarily say that, I will say that I'm getting excited, albeit a little, about heading out to Italy on an eating tour!

2 APR 2023 · Oh man. That proverbial 2x4 that smacked into my head saying, "Guy, I want a divorce," stung like a mo fo', but it also woke me up. I've spent the last 2 weeks really doing a deep dive into my thoughts and beliefs and actions and I think for the first time in my life asking myself, "Okay, how are you going to move forward?" I've got the magnifying glass out and my examining my beliefs and actions and I've discovered a few things I'm not so proud of and need to fix. Welcome to Guy's Inner-World Fix-it and Repair.

24 MAR 2023 · I'm done. I'm done feeling as if something happened to me. I'm done feeling like a victim. I'm done feeling as though I have to do this and that and wait for this and that and hopefully something's going to change and then, and then my life's going to get better. Nope. I'm ready to change. I'm ready to change myself in order to move into this next phase and stage of my life. And this requires me exploring myself. It means looking at my thoughts and beliefs and actions. It means examining my subconscious thoughts and limiting beliefs and then envisioning the kind of future I want to have. Phfew. Is this work? Yes, of course it is. But you know what? I'm fucking ready. Let's do this.

17 MAR 2023 · Uh, yeah last week something happened that truly changed my life. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. This divorce thing has been and continues to be a roller coaster of emotions and fits and starts and one step forward three back. Oh yes, and it's been a juggling fiery machetes type thing blindfolded, too. I'm doing it, though. Let's go.

10 MAR 2023 · How can you possibly know how to deal with the trauma of divorce? You can't. You don't realize that the hell is involved when you're not in it. I never did. I just thought about two people no longer being married. And yes, that sucks. And is sad and is awful (for some!). But there is so much more that we don't think about. That I certainly never thought about. Well, today, there's more and I have to deal.

3 MAR 2023 · Yep. That's the grade I'm giving myself, a C-. Actually, you know what, on second thought I'll give msyelf a B. That's more accurate. And honestly, it's less depressing. I need positivity. I've earned a B, too.

17 FEB 2023 · Today I take do a little self-assessment of how I've been doing. I'm going to give myself a "pass." I'll give myself a B+ for effort as there are things I could be doing and also things I could be doing more of, that I talk about here.

10 FEB 2023 · It's challenging. It's hard. We keep moving. We have to. I've always said, even as this all began for me, that I refused to be that person sitting over there in the cornere with a blanket over their head, weeping. Guy, get the f up and keep moving. Okay. Okay. Okay.