4 JUN 2020

2 JUN 2020 · A Virginia brewery announced it is seeking a "Chief Hiking Officer" who would be paid $20,000 to spend five to seven months hiking the Appalachian Trail and drinking beer. The Devil's Backbone Brewing Co., based in Lexington, said it is accepting applications from people to "love hiking and beer" to take on the unique job. The winning applicant will be granted the "Chief Hiking Officer" title and be flown out to trail head in 2021 for a 2,200 mile hike. The hiker, who would tackle the trail between May and September 2021, would be outfitted with equipment by the brewery, as well as being treated to "some big ol' beer parties along the way." The application on the company's website consists of some personal information, proof of social media or blogging savvy, and a video explaining why the applicant should receive the position. The company said the best applications will be selected for interviews and an assignment to complete for the next round of eliminations.

1 JUN 2020 · In Wisconsin, there's a dive bar called Bennett's Meadowood Country Club and since 1977 they've been offering something called "porn in the morn." Also called "Smut and Eggs," the bar offers customers the opportunity to eat reasonably priced breakfast specials while watching hardcore porn in a private room every Saturday and Sunday morning. Despite the name, Bennett's isn't a country club. It's a bar down the street from a couple of auto body shops and an HVAC repair company. But on a Sunday afternoon in late January, before the coronavirus madness, Bennett's hosted what it described as "an all-female revue," but some attendees described as "a sex show with strippers." At the time, the bar manager said that it was legal for the bar to host the live show because it had a burlesque license. But the city says that kind of license doesn't exist in Madison, so the stunt could cost Bennett's ability to serve booze, screen its porn flicks, or both. The City Council has to approve license renewals at their meeting this week and the city's attorneys are worried that they don't have time to schedule a non-renewal hearing between now and then, The only other option would be to hold a hearing later this year to revoke Bennett's license. In the meantime, Bennett's did have "Smut and Eggs" this past weekend and says they have no plans to stop.

28 MAY 2020

27 MAY 2020 · Denver International Airport: The New World Airport of The Illuminati

26 MAY 2020 · I'm not sure exercising and eating pints of ice cream necessarily go hand-in-hand, but here you go. Nike and Ben & Jerry's have teamed up to make a SHOE. It's called the Nike SB Dunk Low x Ben & Jerry's . . . or the "Chunky Dunky." . . . and they started showing up in stores over the weekend. The shoes basically look like a pint of Ben & Jerry's on your feet. They have the bright blue, green, and yellow colors . . . plus the black and white cow print all over. And if you want a pair . . . well, good luck. They go on sale online today but they're expected to sell out immediately . . . and some people who managed to grab a pair at a store for $100 are reselling them for more than $1,300. The first day of summer isn't until June 20th. But yesterday was the unofficial start. So let's talk ICE CREAM . . . and how to make it taste even better. An expert in "sensory science" came up with a seven-step process that's supposed to give you the ideal ice cream eating experience. The one downside is it takes longer. But if you're REALLY serious about your ice cream, here are the steps . . . 1. Take it out of the freezer and let it defrost for about 15 minutes. When it's too cold, the aroma molecules don't release. And smell plays a huge role in how things taste. 2. Don't take too big of a bite. Half a teaspoon per bite is ideal. 3. Place the spoon upside down in your mouth, so the ice cream hits your tongue. 4. Roll the ice cream around in your mouth, and pay attention to how the smooth, creamy texture feels. 5. Breathe in through your mouth while the ice cream is in there. The air passing over it helps it hit more of your taste buds. 6. Don't swallow too soon. 12 seconds in your mouth is ideal. 7. Repeat with each bite to build up a, quote, "full ice cream taste profile."

21 MAY 2020

19 MAY 2020 · The "Chuck" in Chuck Norris isn't short for Charles . . . it's short for Carlos. Carlos Norris got Coronavirus. Now the Coronavirus is in isolation. Carlos Norris's Blood Type is AK-47. Carlos Norris can speak French... In Russian. Carlos Norris can speak braille. Carlos Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.

12 MAY 2020

28 APR 2020 · Times are tough and nothing beats free. So when a man, who goes by Skweezy Jibbs on Twitter, heard Wendy's was giving away free four-piece chicken nuggets last Thursday, he made sure he took full advantage of the situation. Skweezy went to no less than 11 Wendy's restaurants in the greater Portland and Vancouver area - twice. He actually had employees put the nuggets into a frying pan that he drove around with, so he could practice social distancing and do his best to stay six feet away from them. His efforts to hit up so many Wendy's even earned him a shout-out from the company on Twitter. Skweezy mapped his route showing how he traveled from one restaurant to the next. Hi tweet read and I quote - "times is tough so when i heard @wendys was givin out free 4 piece nuggs today i knew i had 2 HUSTLE 🏃 i hit every damn wendys twice within 17 miles across 2 states 🚘 it took 5 hours but now we eatin free 4 a week WHAT IT DOOOOOO"