16 JUN 2017 · This week, we discover the common thread between the third movie in a Pixar merchandise selling franchise, a Tupac Shakur biopic, and an art-house horror film. The answer: they all suck. If you like complaining, there will be a lot of it in this episode, roughly 15 minutes dedicated to each movie as we tear apart the very fabric of film making in three extremely different ways. The end conclusion to all three seems to be: find better writers. Or maybe find better everything in most cases. At least Cars 3 and It Comes At Night look good. The only thing All Eyez On Me has going for it is the casting director found Tupac's clone. We also have a throwback to our very first episode as Ben finally sees Logan and confirms every reason I told him not to watch it three months ago. Unfortunately he didn't check out the black and white version on the DVD, so we'll never know the true artistic potential of the film. We also learn an amazing fact about the career of Samuel L. Jackson and Stewart gives us a two sentence recap of E3 if you like videogames. We even come up with a new name for the show by the end of the episode. All in all, it's a winner. Tell us if you feel the same way and if you plan on seeing any of these movies. Or if you did, leave a message confirming just how right we are. And if you disagree, keep your thoughts to yourself.

10 JUN 2017 · Ever wonder what a cinematic universe would be like if instead of comic book heroes it had mysterious monsters from the depths of Universal Studios' acclaimed lore? Well, unfortunately you probably won't get that opportunity. The Mummy is the first flick in the new Universal "Dark Universe," a planned cinematic universe combining monsters such as Dracula, Frankenstein, the Invisible Man, and of course sir Mummy of Egypt. So the Dark Universe starts with The Mummy, a reboot of the 1930s Mummy film, not the hugely successful 1999 film starring Brendan Fraser. I know, it's confusing. However, this time the Mummy's a girl. And this time, she's in London. Because I guess the Egypt angle was played out in all these Mummy movies or something. Nick and I talk about how it leads to some of the most uninspired and uninteresting settings in movie history, all packed into a short but not sweet film that plays out more like an adaptation of the video game Uncharted than a movie about mummies. As Tom Cruise's character would say in the film, "Where's your sense of adventure?" I guess it was left behind in all the crappy movies Alex Kurtzman wrote before this one. Give it a listen and tell us what you thought of the Mummy or if you plan on seeing it after our glowing reviews. Spoilers: the reviews aren't glowing.

2 JUN 2017 · How can a movie so mediocre get review scores so consistently positive? That's the question we try and answer on this week's episode, all while I try to stop my head from exploding. At about the 30 minute mark, I completely lose my cool and become a ranting lunatic as I try to decipher what has changed in the world and why I can no longer be an active member in it. Ben brings in some good news by confirming that Leonard Maltin doesn't get it either, so at least I'm not alone on my island of hate. Before my aneurysm inducing rant, we discuss the more important things about this movie, such as Gal Gadot and how much camera time her ass gets. We also touch on the plot, themes, and visuals of the film because I think that's kind of important too, but you can be the judge. Before we get going, we also bring up a much cooler action film with The Raid: Redemption and a much lamer action movie in Crank. And if you stick around to the end, I drop a fun teaser for the film we'll be reviewing next week, The Mummy. Leave a comment and tell us what you thought of Wonder Woman and whose side you're on. Or don't. No pressure.

26 MAY 2017 · This week, we answer the age old question - what's stupider: a modern day comedy adaption of Baywatch or another freaking Pirates of the Caribbean movie 14 years after the first one came out. The answer might surprise you, but probably won't. After all, have you seen the ads for Baywatch? Not even the Rock could save that sinking ship of a film. Seriously, Zac Efron needs a new agent. On the other hand, so does Johnny Depp. On this one we discuss how we're all collectively sick of Jack Sparrow, why Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley are way cooler than anything Hollywood is churning out this year, and why your Pirates movies need more pirates and less mythological ocean fantasy lore. More importantly, I bring up the very important idea that comedies need jokes and Baywatch is lacking very much in them. It's also lacking a coherent plot, direction, acting and special effects. We get into all of that and make bold predictions on what the year 2023 will bring us in the way of film. Give a listen and tell us how you feel about either of these films, or Colin's Bear Animation on YouTube. That shit's weird.

20 MAY 2017 · Did you ever want to know where the facehuggers from Alien came from? Do you care if the answer makes sense and is cool? Well then, do I ever have a movie to pitch to you. This week, Stewart and I discuss Alien: Covenant, the sixth film in the Alien anthology and fourth film that didn't need to be made. Neither Stewart and I were impressed by the material, but Stewart does his best to convince Ben and Nick to see the flick and much to my dismay is successful in turning one to the Covenant side. We also briefly talk about the Star Wars Episode VII trailer and I do my best not to completely lose my cool because of how much I hated it. Instead I do that off air after we record and wake the neighbors. Maybe for a future podcast, folks. We also talk about Ben watching too many cartoons and Nick and my thoughts on The Wall, the new Doug Liman film starring Golden Globe winner Kick-Ass Taylor-Johnson and once and future WWE Champion John Cena. If you can correctly guess who gives the better performance I'll be shocked. Give a listen and let us know who had the more compelling argument, whether or not you plan to see Alien: Covenant, and how wrong (or right) our discussion of the movie was.

17 MAY 2017 · Are you ready to dance? Well plug in your Walkman, put on your headphones and get to stepping friends, because the Guardians of the Galaxy are back and more meme-worthy than ever. The follow up to Marvel's 2014 surprise megahit is back, and Starlord and the team are here to save more galaxies and drop more one-liners than you can shake a stick out. In this episode, Stewart and I discuss our thoughts on Vol. 2, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Summer of Heroes at Disneyland, Avi Arad and the third season of Twin Peaks. Surprisingly, MCU superfan Stewart comes out against Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, leaving me with a steep hill to climb as I try and convince Nick to see the movie despite a very adamant distaste for all things Marvel. Despite his disdain for the films, he does a spectacular job correctly predicting key elements of Vol. 2 without spoiling it. We discuss Kurt Russell's involvement in the film as well as Dave Bautista's increasing involvement and a shocking lack of Baby Groot (or Howard the Duck). I don't end this film throwing my 3D glasses at the screen, so I guess that's a win for James Gunn and the fine folks at Marvel Studios. Will Vol. 2 have the same lasting appeal as its first installment? Stewart and I both contend probably not. Listen to find out why and decide for yourselves. And leave a comment if you plan on seeing the film or if our discussion effectively swayed you either way.