26 OCT 2021 · My granddaughter is a middle schooler having just entered eighth-grade. She is very athletic and focused her talents on dance for many years, but last year she discovered volleyball. I was thrilled personally because I can now go and watch her play. But it also started me thinking about the importance of team sports for our young people. In volleyball , you need someone to dig out the opponents’ serves, a setter to put the ball in just the right place so the outside player can finish off the play. If one of these players doesn’t do their job, it puts real strain on the whole team. There is something incredibly healthy about being part of a team. A player is not on the court for her own glory, she is there to help the team succeed. This is a model that carries over into other facets of life. We are responsible for how our actions affect those around us. Each person must put the interests of the team ahead of her own individual needs. That’s how it works in team sports. That’s how it works in life. Team sports can also have some downsides. Good sportsmanship can be sacrificed for winning at all costs. Pressure from overly competitive families can rob athletes of the fun of competing. As far as deciding how important winning should be, I know two things for sure. One, winning is not everything and two, losing is not the end of the world. Somewhere in between those two extremes lies an acceptable level of importance that you must find for yourself. Whether you are athletic or not, you will still have the chance to be a part of a team in school and beyond. It is a great way to raise the quality of your life. Enjoy it!

20 AUG 2020 · I have had many students ask me the same question over the years: “Why do we have to take a foreign language?” Said a different way, they ask, “Why doesn’t everyone just learn English?” My answer is always the same: “Je ne comprends pas,” or, “no comprendo,” or “Ich verstehe nicht.” In other words, I don’t understand you, and if you don’t understand me, we’re going nowhere. This is foreign language week at Churchville-Chili Junior High School. This is the week where we recognize how important it is to understand one another. Language begins that process, but it doesn’t ensure it. Think about the times you’ve misunderstood a friend, a parent or a teacher, and they’re all speaking English. Speaking and understanding a language just gives you a chance to be on the same wavelength as another person. Besides making understanding easier, learning another person’s language is a statement of great respect. You are saying that the other person is so important that you are willing to work really hard to try and understand him or her. Not only that, learning another language, learning about another culture and discovering another part of the world is fun. So, “Bon voyage,” or “Buen viaje!” Enjoy your journey.

20 AUG 2020 · The inauguration of President Obama has been dominating news coverage and rightfully so. It represents an historic milestone for our country. I was watching coverage of the morning after prayer service. The first woman to ever give the sermon at that event, the Reverend Sharon Jackson, spoke about a Cherokee story, which I thought I would share with you. It goes like this. A young man is confiding in his Grandfather that he sometimes treats his friends harshly and sometimes kindly. He did not understand why. His Grandfather said, “When I was your age…I felt like there were two Wolves fighting inside of me…one was mean and ornery, rebellious and committed to all things negative. The other was kind and gentle, respected nature and all living things, and always did what was best.” The grandfather continued, “These Wolves are still with me now; in fact, they live in each one of us.” The young man asked, “Which wolf will win in the end?” The Grandfather said, “The one you feed”. Sometimes it is really confusing when we are torn between doing the right thing and giving in to our negative side. Understand that those two sides of us will always exist, but the one we let out the most, the one we feed, will become the most dominant part of our personality. It’s interesting that Reverend Jackson chose to tell the new President this story. President Obama, just like you, will face daily challenges to his values. He will be called on, just like you, to treat people well or poorly. He will go forward every day, just like you, to decide whether to feed his kind and gentle wolf or to let out the negative ornery wolf. I hope he, just like you, will feed the right wolf.

20 AUG 2020 · One of the most popular words in education and in psychology is self-esteem. Sometimes I hesitate to use it because it is used so often. But, the truth is that self esteem is the most important goal we can have for ourselves, our friends and our family members. Lots of good things happen if we are feeling good about ourselves. The opposite is also true. We can send waves of destruction based on our own negative self perception. We will make many choices today about how we will act. Each will raise or lower our self esteem. Take the time to notice how you are feeling after you act. If you feel better about yourself after you do it, the action increased your self esteem. If you feel like you want to crawl into a hole, you have lowered your self-worth. Rochester’s Frederick Douglass said, “I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” In other words, your value is determined ultimately by you. A friend of mine told me the other day that the thing she regrets the most about her youth is that she gave away her own value to the opinions of other people. She said she let them determine, in her own mind, her worth as a person. Now, she says, she doesn’t allow anyone to decide how she feels about herself. The bottom line is: do estimable acts and you will have good self esteem.

20 AUG 2020 · The last week or two, with their heavy rains and warmer breezes have truly reminded us that winter is gone and spring is gaining on us every day. I thought it would be nice to see what people have said over the years about the magic of Spring. Thomas Tusser wrote the now immortal words in 1557: Sweet April showers Do spring May flowers. In 1852, Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote: In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. T. S. Elliot wrote in 1922: April is the cruelest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain. e. e. cummings wrote in 1923: in Just— spring when the world is mud— luscious the little lame balloonman whistles far and wee and, Robert Frost, the wonderful American poet wrote in 1936: The sun was warm but the wind was chill. You know how it is with an April day When the sun is out and the wind is still, You're one month on in the middle of May. But if you so much as dare to speak, A cloud comes over the sunlit arch, A wind comes off a frozen peak, And you're two months back in the middle of March. Enjoy the process of early spring and know that soon enough we’ll be baking in the summer sun.

20 AUG 2020 · March is Women’s History Month in the United States. The celebration was begun with the National Women’s History Project in 1980. This year 14 outstanding American women are being honored for their contribution to this country and the world. I think back to 1972, when a woman named Helen Reddy recorded a song that became an anthem for the women’s movement. It was called simply, “I am Woman.” At the time, I remember thinking, “Wow, that song really captures the spirit of the new American woman.” Now, 35 years later, I say, “Yeah?” The fact is, women have made enormous strides since that song came out. They haven’t completely achieved equal pay for equal work, but they are on their way. Women represent more than half the future doctors and lawyers entering graduate school. They represent way more than half of the freshman entering college. A woman was just named the President of Harvard University. Here in Rochester, a woman is the CEO of Xerox. Did I mention that the leading candidate for the Democratic Presidential nomination is a woman? The fact is, in the education field, one of the hot issues now is how to keep our boys from being left behind in school. When National Women’s History Month was established back in 1980, it made sense to set aside one month for the women, but if things keep going the way they’re going, it wouldn’t surprise me at all, in 10 or 20 years, to have July declared National Men’s History Month. The rest of the year will belong to the women.

20 AUG 2020 · I remember when I was the age of my students, my father’s parents came to live with us for a period of time. I remember asking my grandfather how he was doing. He used to say to me, “I’ve got my health and when you’ve got your health you’ve got just about everything.” It’s funny. Now I know what he meant. As you get older the number of things that can go wrong increases and the importance of being healthy gets larger every day. When you’re a student, your parents take care of you. When you’re sick, your folks get you to the doctor so you can get on your way and back to health. Many adults here at school are taking care of their parents. The ailments vary from an inability to get around to a loss of the sense of who they are. In some cases, disease takes its toll on those growing older as well. I mentioned last week how important it is to be good and kind to other people. Those are habits you can learn when you’re 12, but they are skills that you will carry forward throughout your life. You may be asked at some point to help with another person, a friend or a relative, and, if you’ve gotten used to it at a young age, you’ll be able to be there for them. Caring young people become caring adults. Start today by helping others.

20 AUG 2020 · Many of us are afraid of change. We assume that even if things aren’t exactly perfect now, they can always get worse. Remy Charlip wrote a children’s book called, “Fortunately.” Here’s how it starts: “Fortunately, Ned was invited to a surprise party. Unfortunately, the party was a thousand miles away. Fortunately, a friend loaned Ned an airplane. Unfortunately, the motor exploded. Fortunately, there was a parachute in the airplane. Unfortunately, there was a hole in the parachute.” The story goes on and on. The point of the story, besides being funny, is that it is hard to tell sometimes what’s a good change and what’s a bad change. All we can really do is confront the changes we are faced with and make the best of them. Cuban-French author Anais Nin writes, “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." She adds about herself, “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Remember, the only constant in the world is change. Try not to be afraid of it.

20 AUG 2020 · For those of you feeling hopeless today, I’m going to read a short poem. I don’t know who wrote it, but I like the message. It was just a tiny speck of light almost swallowed by the night it had almost given up the fight the darkness was all it could see In the distance suddenly it seemed was a sight the light could not have dreamed another speck sparked and glowed and gleamed the light thought "it's just like me." So the tiny speck beamed strong and proud through the dark that hovered like a shroud soon enough, it drew a crowd of small lights sea to sea. The lights were overjoyed and soon they joined together bright as noon as incandescent as the moon from darkness they were free The moral of this story seems to be the stuff of childish dreams from tiny specks to brilliant beams impossible you say But here today it seems to me each soul whose yearning to be free glows silent in their hearts can see there is only one way And if you want to change the fate of a people twisted blind by hate and fear and doubt, its not too late but there is no time to mope Its easy all you have to do is take your speck of light, its true and join with thousands just like you to light the dark with Hope

20 AUG 2020 · As middle school students you are beginning the most important battle of your life, a battle that will literally last for the rest of your life. You should not expect to fight the battle perfectly, but you need to spot when you’re off the trail and get back on. I am talking about the battle for control of your value. First, let me tell each of you that you are of tremendous value. You have your own set of skills. You can love others and you are lovable. The trick for you, and for all of us, is to keep in touch with that value, to behave in a way that raises your own value and to avoid actions that diminish your value in your own eyes. What are some right ways and wrong ways to approach the battle? Here are some right ways—embrace a life style that makes you feel like a good person. If you love music, develop your musical abilities. If you love words, read and write and express your ideas in a way that makes you happy. If you love to exercise, take every opportunity to use your body constructively. If you feel a sense of spiritual purpose, do everything you can to develop a relationship with your higher power. Do not give away your value to anyone or anything. Do not let the opinions of others dictate how you feel about yourself. I know this runs counter to what you’ve been told--that adults have all the answers, but your value lies inside of you and you are in charge of how you feel about yourself. Finally, don’t give your value away to drugs and alcohol. As soon as you start letting foreign substances make decisions on how you behave, you end up the big loser. I hope you’ll fight the good fight for your own value. I know for sure that you’re worth it.