This is a " Pruning" message. In gardening i am told " Pruning" requires the cutting off of branches so that the bush may grow. More experienced : Bishops, Apostles, Prophets & Evangelists can tell where you stand spiritually by the way a person allows their FLESH to control their actions and speech. Speech accompanied by blatant lies, gossip, trouble making and acts of deception & manipulation contradict what you say out of your mouth about how deep your relationship with God is.  It is evident you need to be kept in prayer for you are a " Spiritual Monster" . We shall examine the life of a " Spiritual Monster" in Acts Chapter 9 vs. 11 who after fervent prayer became a " Spiritual GIANT ! All hope is NOT lost but it's up to you !!!