Calming the monster. Might it be a collection of many invisible attackers willing to unlock the gates of self control? At times it reminds me of the photographs sent around the world on January 6th. The image of the attackers on the capitol. I remember thinking, "Those images are how these inner monsters are brutalizing me." My father was always angry or silent. We can't live life that way. Don't be the fire starter. Keep yourself from attacking all things within. Locate equal love and equal peace.