Recorded: 11/01/2020
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In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair and I have a very educational article from Medium.com titled “She Said She Liked it Rough, I Had No Idea Where to Begin”. If you are a person that struggles with what your partner wants or if you are the one that wants it and they are the one struggling, this might be the thing that helps both of you understand it better.

Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- “She Said She Liked it Rough, I Had No Idea Where to Begin-S03E18”
By Liam MacAdam https://medium.com/sexography/she-said-she-liked-it-rough-979ce1dfaded

The other day, my wife Kate was talking to a friend on the phone about her record of falling for the wrong kind of man. She had a thing for bad boys, and was inevitably left heartbroken when they treated her badly.

“You should do what I did”, Kate said, “find a good boy and teach him how to be bad”.
I knew she was talking about me. Was that really what had transpired in our relationship?
When we first got together, Kate let me know that she liked it rough in the bedroom. This was a problem for me. I could do athletic — multiple angles, various speeds — but rough was not in my sexual vocabulary.

My whole being is about niceness. That doesn’t make me perfect, it just means that gentleness,
politeness and empathy are programmed into everything I do.
By the way, I’m not trying to suggest that these are virtues I should be praised for. I did not overcome a mean streak through hard work and therapy. Niceness is my innate disposition, my default mode.

When I asked Kate what she meant by liking it rough, she said that she wanted to be “thrown around the bed”. Apparently, it was one of the things she enjoyed most during an otherwise disappointing previous relationship.
I panicked inwardly. Some things that are asked of us we can immediately visualize doing well and with authenticity. For me, this was not one of those things.
I wasn’t sure what throwing someone around the bed would even look like. How could you make it something sexy, and not just naked wrestling? I had no idea.
As a pleaser, however, I was committed to giving it a try. The next time we had sex, when we had finished doing it from the front, I flipped Kate over so we could do it from behind. I did it with reckless abandon, with scant regard for her physical safety. Afterward, I asked how she liked it.
“Liked what?” she asked.

She hadn’t noticed. It was clear I was out of my depth. I asked her for help.
The next time we were naked in bed together, she suggested I spank her. Spanking I understood. She got up on her hands and knees and I started lightly slapping her upper thighs and bottom. I enjoyed the sound I could make when I struck her flesh just so with my right hand. I could tell she was getting into it by the moans coming from her lips.
“Harder”, she urged.
I spanked her with more and more force as she urged me on, harder than I would ever have felt comfortable doing without ...

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