I was raised in the Dutch Christian Reformed Church on Calvinism and the Heidelberg Catechism. The reasoning is mind boggling and becomes forced and believing in God is a struggle yet there He is! Or rather it's like when Moses was hidden in the cleft of the rock by God so he could see God's back as He passed by and was not blinded by His glory. I still wonder how could Adam and Eve dwelling with God in the Gardent of Eden choose to eat from that Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? We are obviously born with free will and this is what I was taught. Does the future exist already? Moses went up on the mountain and the Israelites saw three figures meeting together at the top. Then Moses came down with his face shining. The apostles also witnessed Jesus going up that same mountain and saw three figures meeting together at the top. When He came down His face was shining. God controls time and also made the sun stand still. We have to choose to believe what God's Word says or not and so many of us are stuck in confusing trying to decide.