Authenticity Builds Genuine Communities: A Guide to Banishing Loneliness With Carrie Allen
Nov 21, 2023 ·
57m 43s
https://www.patreon.com/EarthandWater Beginning – We’re all struggling with mental health. Carrie and I believe that’s largely due to our sectioning off into nuclear families and getting away from the villages we...
show more
https://www.patreon.com/EarthandWater
Beginning –
We’re all struggling with mental health. Carrie and I believe that’s largely due to our sectioning off into nuclear families and getting away from the villages we were always meant to live in.
Authenticity is a newer concept. Throughout history, it was important to our survival that the village liked and accepted us. This would lead our loved ones to “correct” and behavior or quirks they found odd or unacceptable. They did this out of love to keep us safe.
Now a days, having quirks is safer. We understand more about one another and are overall more accepting of things we wouldn’t have been hundreds of years ago. It’s also not as dire to be liked as it once was. We’ve built a world that is easier to live in, survival wise, independently. Even if it may leave us lonelier.
Perhaps we needed that separation in order to grow and now we can begin to come back together in a healthy way.
The internet gave us the historically unique ability to find the tribe that fits us best. However, online communities still lack that physical closeness that we still crave in our daily lives.
9:35 –
Sometimes it’s easier to make friends with a complete stranger than it is with someone you’ve been familiar with for a long period of time. Small home towns have the challenge of judgement and insecurities based on pre-decided ideas of one another.
Moving somewhere else isn’t going to solve our problems or make things easier because we’ll still be living in and playing out the stories we have in our heads about how things are, were and should be.Healing in the same place that hurt you.
22:30 –
If you can figure out who you are, you can figure out where to insert yourself into your community. Coming full circle where historically both others as well as ourselves censored us in order to fit in, we now want to embrace what makes us individuals.In doing so, we find what makes us happy and being able to happily be involved in the community in a way that feels fun and fulfilling rather than a chore and obligation is how we build strength and bonds with the people around us. This helps us to heal, feel connected and banish loneliness.
Figuring out who you are authentically is easier said than done. It requires experimentation, trial and error and healing to dig yourself out of insecurities and find solidity and confidence in your truth. We have to become ok with the possibility of rejection.
26:00 –
There may not really be anything such as “introverts” and “extroverts”. What people experience as “Introvertedness” may simply be the exhaustion from masking. Theoretically, everyone is an “extrovert” under the correct circumstances. Socializing is only draining when you’re not being authentic to yourself and others.
Duality does say that we are both of everything. Introvertedness may be a protection mechanism whereas we become extroverted when we feel safe to be ourselves.
33:30 –
Your most important community is the one within yourself. Cultivate your relationship with you first before you move out and try to connect with others around you. Grounding into your body is a great place to start tuning into who you are.
You have to learn how to slow down and hang out with yourself. Getting out of electronics and looking for external answers and instead exploring your own thoughts, words and actions. Noticing your beliefs and patterns and tracing them back to their origins.What feels good and what doesn’t? Our emotional guidance system is there to lead us but we have to be aware and utilize it from an objective place.
40:15 –
Cognitive dissonance is the combative nature people fall into naturally when their belief systems are challenged or presented with conflicting information. Our subconscious wants to uphold the reality we’ve created for ourselves so when that vision meets information that threatens to disillusion us from it, we feel as though we’re being attacked and seek to defend what we’ve created.Cognitive dissonance is one of the most challenging aspects of being human and is almost single handedly the cause of conflict. Knowing it exists and being aware when it shows up in both yourself and others can help you to glide around and diffuse arguments as or before they arise.
We’re more aware of “red flags” and toxicity than we ever were and that’s caused us to cut people off more quickly than we ever would have before. We ALL have our issues that need working through though. None of us is perfect, so being too quick to cut people off leaves us with no one but ourselves in a sea of loneliness.We have to learn how to use discernment to find our boundaries. Decide on a case by case plan of action in which cutting contact entirely or sticking it out to work through the relationship is the best course of action. This comes back to knowing yourself and what is a deal breaker for you.
45:15 –
Root chakra healing as a collective because we become protective not only of ourselves but of our village as well. Our root chakra rules safety and security. The more solid that is, the more understanding, accepting and compassionate we can be for other’s intricacies that in the past we may have felt threatened by.
Boundaries are about keeping things in your life that you want to keep in your life, not about keeping things out of your life. The best example of this is family. Holding boundaries is how you keep your loved ones around without all of the drama and conflict that tends to arise naturally by being in close contact with each other for extended periods of time.Know your triggers so you can plan ahead how to react when they occur.
The Grey Rock method is where you give toxic people nothing when they approach you. No reaction, no energy, as little words as possible. The goal is to become as boring as you can so that they move along from you. Some people feed off of drama and actively seek to create it or rouse it out of us. Don’t play into it.
About Our Guest:
Carrie Allen is a visionary community advocate with a mission to amplify human potential through the power of true, authentic community. As a life-long community builder, Carrie draws from her journey to highlight the genuine value of community and connections across diverse facets of life. The mastermind behind The Human Array, she empowers individuals to embrace their authenticity and contribute to the development of thriving, uplifting communities for personal, professional, and collective growth.
Your Host:
S.S.Blake; Spiritual Life Coach, Yoga + Meditation Teacher and Founder of Earth and Water
LET’S BE FRIENDS!
Explore working with me to find your voice and share your message with the world.
show less
Beginning –
We’re all struggling with mental health. Carrie and I believe that’s largely due to our sectioning off into nuclear families and getting away from the villages we were always meant to live in.
Authenticity is a newer concept. Throughout history, it was important to our survival that the village liked and accepted us. This would lead our loved ones to “correct” and behavior or quirks they found odd or unacceptable. They did this out of love to keep us safe.
Now a days, having quirks is safer. We understand more about one another and are overall more accepting of things we wouldn’t have been hundreds of years ago. It’s also not as dire to be liked as it once was. We’ve built a world that is easier to live in, survival wise, independently. Even if it may leave us lonelier.
Perhaps we needed that separation in order to grow and now we can begin to come back together in a healthy way.
The internet gave us the historically unique ability to find the tribe that fits us best. However, online communities still lack that physical closeness that we still crave in our daily lives.
9:35 –
Sometimes it’s easier to make friends with a complete stranger than it is with someone you’ve been familiar with for a long period of time. Small home towns have the challenge of judgement and insecurities based on pre-decided ideas of one another.
Moving somewhere else isn’t going to solve our problems or make things easier because we’ll still be living in and playing out the stories we have in our heads about how things are, were and should be.Healing in the same place that hurt you.
22:30 –
If you can figure out who you are, you can figure out where to insert yourself into your community. Coming full circle where historically both others as well as ourselves censored us in order to fit in, we now want to embrace what makes us individuals.In doing so, we find what makes us happy and being able to happily be involved in the community in a way that feels fun and fulfilling rather than a chore and obligation is how we build strength and bonds with the people around us. This helps us to heal, feel connected and banish loneliness.
Figuring out who you are authentically is easier said than done. It requires experimentation, trial and error and healing to dig yourself out of insecurities and find solidity and confidence in your truth. We have to become ok with the possibility of rejection.
26:00 –
There may not really be anything such as “introverts” and “extroverts”. What people experience as “Introvertedness” may simply be the exhaustion from masking. Theoretically, everyone is an “extrovert” under the correct circumstances. Socializing is only draining when you’re not being authentic to yourself and others.
Duality does say that we are both of everything. Introvertedness may be a protection mechanism whereas we become extroverted when we feel safe to be ourselves.
33:30 –
Your most important community is the one within yourself. Cultivate your relationship with you first before you move out and try to connect with others around you. Grounding into your body is a great place to start tuning into who you are.
You have to learn how to slow down and hang out with yourself. Getting out of electronics and looking for external answers and instead exploring your own thoughts, words and actions. Noticing your beliefs and patterns and tracing them back to their origins.What feels good and what doesn’t? Our emotional guidance system is there to lead us but we have to be aware and utilize it from an objective place.
40:15 –
Cognitive dissonance is the combative nature people fall into naturally when their belief systems are challenged or presented with conflicting information. Our subconscious wants to uphold the reality we’ve created for ourselves so when that vision meets information that threatens to disillusion us from it, we feel as though we’re being attacked and seek to defend what we’ve created.Cognitive dissonance is one of the most challenging aspects of being human and is almost single handedly the cause of conflict. Knowing it exists and being aware when it shows up in both yourself and others can help you to glide around and diffuse arguments as or before they arise.
We’re more aware of “red flags” and toxicity than we ever were and that’s caused us to cut people off more quickly than we ever would have before. We ALL have our issues that need working through though. None of us is perfect, so being too quick to cut people off leaves us with no one but ourselves in a sea of loneliness.We have to learn how to use discernment to find our boundaries. Decide on a case by case plan of action in which cutting contact entirely or sticking it out to work through the relationship is the best course of action. This comes back to knowing yourself and what is a deal breaker for you.
45:15 –
Root chakra healing as a collective because we become protective not only of ourselves but of our village as well. Our root chakra rules safety and security. The more solid that is, the more understanding, accepting and compassionate we can be for other’s intricacies that in the past we may have felt threatened by.
Boundaries are about keeping things in your life that you want to keep in your life, not about keeping things out of your life. The best example of this is family. Holding boundaries is how you keep your loved ones around without all of the drama and conflict that tends to arise naturally by being in close contact with each other for extended periods of time.Know your triggers so you can plan ahead how to react when they occur.
The Grey Rock method is where you give toxic people nothing when they approach you. No reaction, no energy, as little words as possible. The goal is to become as boring as you can so that they move along from you. Some people feed off of drama and actively seek to create it or rouse it out of us. Don’t play into it.
About Our Guest:
Carrie Allen is a visionary community advocate with a mission to amplify human potential through the power of true, authentic community. As a life-long community builder, Carrie draws from her journey to highlight the genuine value of community and connections across diverse facets of life. The mastermind behind The Human Array, she empowers individuals to embrace their authenticity and contribute to the development of thriving, uplifting communities for personal, professional, and collective growth.
Your Host:
S.S.Blake; Spiritual Life Coach, Yoga + Meditation Teacher and Founder of Earth and Water
LET’S BE FRIENDS!
Explore working with me to find your voice and share your message with the world.
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