As Book I, Chapter 1 of The Lord of the Rings continues, the Baggins binary birthday bash begins with food, fireworks, and no unwanted poetry. Bilbo actually has something far more noteworthy in mind: a dramatic and immediate departure. As the flabbergasted guests eat and drink away their confusion, Gandalf confronts Bilbo about… well, you know. We discuss Tolkien’s comments on the longevity of Ringbearers, bring out the Fëanor piñata once again, and introduce a brand-new segment: Meanwhile, Elsewhere in Middle-earth.