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SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT'S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS? There's nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It's destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what's at the core of a relationship that doesn't feel safe. Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you're not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU. Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to! What's your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It's always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly? Do I turn everything into a debate?Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?When I'm really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?Am I only happy when I am winning?Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?Is that enough?Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge? VERY important questions. Maybe, you'll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that? Relationships are not competitions! If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorIS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT'S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS? There's nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It's destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what's at the core of a relationship that doesn't feel safe. Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you're not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU. Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to! What's your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It's always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly? Do I turn everything into a debate?Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?When I'm really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?Am I only happy when I am winning?Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?Is that enough?Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge? VERY important questions. Maybe, you'll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that? Relationships are not competitions! If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.Talk soon.RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorForRelationshipHelp.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions read more read less

5 years ago