“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink,” John Wayne

From the Rat Pack to Animal House to Ernest Hemingway to John Wayne, many cultural icons of masculinity have glamorized the idea that booze puts hair on your chest.

The Tough Guy Culture and Addiction
Traditional American messages of masculinity teach boys to be lone wolves and to stuff down emotions. Feelings (except anger) then become taboo. This messaging creates a problem for boys and men who feel fear, grief, shame and more and don’t have role models on how to express these emotions openly. Instead, men often learn to take action when feeling these feelings by numbing emotions or distracting themselves with many forms of addictive behavior.

Traditional norms of masculinity also endorse ideals of self-control. Thus, despite high levels of substance use triggered by conflict, pain, and uncomfortable feelings, many men believe they can control their substance use well past the point of significant consequences in relationships, work and health. Because of this, they often wait until their use is causing catastrophic outcomes before they reach out to, or more typically accept others’ help.

Add to this dynamic the need for young people to experience “coming of age” rituals to make a shift from child to adult. For many young men and teens risky behavior around substances often fit the bill. Competition, fearlessness and invulnerability fuel increasingly dangerous pathways to addiction, especially for young adults who are genetically predisposed to have vulnerability to substance use disorders. In this podcast Rourke Weaver and I talk about how cultures of masculinity can fuel problems in addiction — and how they can also be leveraged powerfully when groups of men come together in recovery.

About Rourke Weaver
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Rourke Weaver is the current Director of Operations at Spero Recovery. Before joining Spero Rourke spent the previous three years at Red Rock Recovery Center as the Director of Business Development. While at Red Rock Recovery, he was instrumental in transforming a newly created and underinformed program into one of the most trusted programs in Colorado. The eight years before that Rourke worked in the Recovery Support Services field with The Phoenix, where he ran programing, opened chapters in Colorado and nationally, lead events and started his advocacy work. This experience led him to form a deep passion for the power of community and the necessity for greater focus on building stronger bridges into recovery. Taking the love he has for recovery, finding a sense of belonging and the previous decade working in the field of Recovery, he joined the team at Spero to build a program that was affordable for Colorado families and operated as a place of community and connection first rather than what insurance will pay or clinical modalities. This is by no means to say these are not necessary programs Rourke simply believes that diversity in programs and accessibility are very important.

Being an advocate for Treatment, Recovery and Recovery Support Services he has, and continues to, engage in the discussion around substance use disorder, recently passing legislation and organizing stakeholders to fight for better regulation and better funding for both Treatment and Recovery. Rourke is the Attorney General Appointed Co-Chair of the Recover Ready Colorado work group, tasked with presenting the Recovery Strategic plan for Colorado. He is the Vice President of Colorado Recovery Residencies, Colorado Professional Liaison Association – Leadership committee, and member with the Colorado Providers Association.

Rourke continues to have a deep passion for programming and working with those in or seeking recovery. Truly enjoying the process of building strong teams, meaningful programming and honest connections that becomes a lasting pillar for long-term recovery.

In his free time Rourke is an avid practitioner of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, mountain biking and enjoys time with his wonderful Family and Friends.

Show Notes
Rourke’s Story
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Rourke’s story is featured in the Guts, Grit & The Grind book: https://www.amazon.com/Guts-Grit-Grind-MENtal-Mechanics/dp/0578658135/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=guts+grit+and+the+grind&qid=1584486371&sr=8-1

More on Rourke’s story: https://www.thesputnik.ca/rourke-weavers-story-of-triumph-over-addiction-turning-severe-alcoholism-into-an-athletic-passion/

Resources for Men Seeking Recovery for more information on this episode got to https://www.sallyspencerthomas.com/hope-illuminated-podcast/56