At its worst, to possess “style” is nothing more than a desperate attempt at mimicking some fleeting trend in the shifting sands of popular fad and fashion. Put in those terms even those who seem to do it well can’t really say they possess style, can they? You do not possess your own style if you are constantly chasing an ever elusive prize in a game whose rules are always written by others. That’s not style. It’s a desperate longing for acceptance and esteem, but it’s not style. It’s a costume.

But at its best “style” is a shortened form of “lifestyle.” Style—real style—is never about conforming to “the” way. It’s about you finding your way. Real style only emerges when someone has done the hard work of coming to know themself, accept themself, and finally decide to like themself. The only true possessors of real style are those who’ve courageously and honestly chosen to tell their own story.

I’m in the style business. I design custom homes. But if you understand style for what it truly is then you understand that my business is not about your house, it’s about you. Architecture is two things: shelter and story. These are the two things I want for you. First, I want you to be safe and secure. Then, I want you to be you. I want you to find your story. I want you to not be afraid to tell your story. Because here’s what I believe … I believe everyone has an authentic story to tell, and every authentic story is worth telling.

And before you dismiss this out of hand by saying, “Dean, that’s easy for you to say because you design grand mansions for sophisticated successful people with real stories to tell,” don’t forget that Tina and I have chosen a simple life in a small home on an average street in an average neighborhood. That’s our style. That’s part of our story. Every story is worth telling.

So every weekend I try to capture and share with you whatever I’ve been chasing around inside my head. Waxing a bit poetic or philosophical, for better or worse that’s an authentic part of my style too. And I usually end our time together with the phrase, “… build yourself a beautiful life.” But I hope today you understand that what I really hope for you is not that you build “a” beautiful life—as rare and precious as that might be—but that you take it even further and build yourself your beautiful life. A custom life. A bespoke, tailored, oozing with style life.

As a carpenter poet one of my all-time favorite quotes comes from the author, philosopher and civil rights leader, the great Rev. Howard Thurman who once said simply this,

“Follow the grain in your own wood.”

And if that doesn’t exactly resonate with you he also famously said this,

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

My feeble wordsmithing can’t say it any better than that. So I‘ll leave it right there. It’s a beautiful spring day. A great time to breathe deep, get to know yourself a little better, find your style, and get out there and build yourself YOUR beautiful life.