This is the last segment of a trio of great discussions based on IWLCA Blogs. This one is authored by Kara Mupo, Assistant Coach, Stanford University; with supporting guests Jenna Handshoe, Head Coach, Presbyterian College & Kate Leavell, Head Coach, Adams State University The Power of Vulnerability: https://iwlca.wordpress.com/2019/01/16/the-power-of-vulnerability/ -By Kara Mupo, Assistant Coach, Stanford University @StanfordWLax Perception is reality. A common quote my first boss used frequently, now serves as the phrase that has inspired my coaching career indefinitely. While I always knew this to be true, it never truly resonated with me until my first end of year meetings as a collegiate coach. A player of mine expressed her intuitive struggle of understanding the intention behind my coaching, until I had faced and shared a time of immense vulnerability. In this field of work, day-in and day-out we are surrounded by a group of individuals that for about 8-months of every year we are with more than our own families. As a group we experience the highest of highs, and lowest of lows emotionally, mentally, and physically. I have been fortunate enough to be on the other side, and face similar experiences as a player, which has given me a multitude of experiences to draw from in the moments of joy, and the moments of pain. These moments I have garnered as a player, and now a coach, have helped me understand the true meaning and power of pulling from our own personal experiences, and using them to connect and empower our players through the sport of lacrosse. Roughly 2 ½ years ago I tore my ACL in the UWLX Semi-Final game. As expected, it was a devastating experience. I realized that for the past decade, I had been living in a world that was comprised of one thing: lacrosse. My purpose, my identity, my pain, my joy, was all derived from a single entity, and in a heartbeat, that entity was taken from me. To feel as if I had lost an entire piece of who I was, was extremely overwhelming. Trying to figure out who I would feel most comfortable with for my surgery, trying to wrap my head around how I was going to balance the rehab with the workload of being a Division I assistant coach and wondering how I was going to be able to balance the emotional roller coaster of what I had heard the return to play rehab process was like. For the first time ever, I had felt an unparalleled sense of self-doubt. Not only because of the inability to relate to something like this before, but now being a position where I felt like I was going to go through this alone opposed to with thirty or so other teammates. It was the first time in my life that I had questioned my confidence, my purpose and honestly, my mental, emotional, and physical strength. It got to a point where the thought of, “I can’t do this anymore,” became almost a daily thought process. While the daunting moments of negativity and self-doubt seemed to be never ending, it turned out that these couple of months of rehab were where I learned how powerful vulnerability could truly be. These were the most transformative months of my life thus far. “I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, because I mean it in the best way possible, but it wasn’t until these last couple months, where we as a team watched you rehab in the training room and grow everyday through your experience with your knee, that we truly felt like we got to know you as more than just our assistant coach. We felt like we got to know you as a person. While I never would wish something like that upon anyone, I just wanted you to know it really helped us understand the reasons why you coach us the way you do and that you truly do care for us.” I will never forget those words above. It put so much into perspective for me not only as a coach, but as a person. I had never realized the power of others’ perceptions until this moment. From the way I was raised, to the way I was coached; put your head down, work your hardest in everything you do, and tough love is the sincerest kind of love. My whole life, those ideals were all I knew. Both in my athletic and personal relationships, that kind of love became the only language I understood, and the only language I spoke. It was not until those words from a 19-year old freshman, that I realized the importance of perception. It was evident from my player’s end of the year meeting comment, that prior to my injury, the lens in which my players viewed me, and how I was perceived by them was not necessarily how I wanted to be viewed. While my coaching style to this day still tends to lean more towards that side of the spectrum, I never took into consideration that my players, in my first-year coaching, truly may not have understood my intent behind pushing them in the ways that I did. While it is never easy to be vulnerable, especially in a position where you are being perceived as a central pillar of strength and steadiness in a well-oiled machine, I soon learned the importance of vulnerability and the power that lies within. I truly believe that these are the qualities that connect us as humans, allowing us to generate more inherent power and will in an individual’s heart more than any dumbbell or wall-ball session can. With vulnerability comes growing pains, but with growing pains comes growth. Sounds familiar, right? It is a concept that we all, in some way or another, preach to our players throughout the four years they spend at their respective institutions. Both academically and athletically that is the nature of our job, to shape young women to be successful in every facet during their tenure, but also to set them up to be powerful figures and role models in their future endeavors. Mastering the art of being comfortable being uncomfortable is something I have tried to carry with me every day. Letting those around you understand the way in which we perceive things, along with the experiences that have shaped us into the individuals we are today can help us relate to our players, as well as cultivate an environment where everyone feels they can reach optimal success. With the start of the 2019 season just kicking off for some of us, and those who are beginning on January 19, best of luck! I hope within these next couple months you, your staff, and your players can find the beauty in the great amount of courage, strength, bravery and uncertainty that comes with the vulnerability of every new opponent you put yourselves up against this season. Remember, perception is reality.

This is the 2nd of a trio of great discussions based on IWLCA Blogs, this one authored by Kate Leavell, Head Coach, Adams State University; with supporting guests Jenna Handshoe, Head Coach, Presbyterian College & Kara Mupo, Assistant Coach, Stanford University It’s a Journey Not a Destination: 5 tips for getting your mind ready for success in collegiate lacrosse: https://iwlca.wordpress.com/2019/01/02/its-a-journey-not-a-destination-5-tips-for-getting-your-mind-ready-for-success-in-collegiate-lacrosse/ -By Kate Leavell, Head Coach, Adams State University, @ASUGrizzlies Years of stress about getting recruited, getting seen, getting playing time, getting recognized and getting offers has players entering the collegiate playing world in a broken mindset. The end result of all that drive is not the social media declaration or the day you’re handed a jersey. The end result of that hard work is not a destination, it is the beginning of a long, difficult, but rewarding journey. It has nothing to do with getting anything, and everything to do with giving the result of all that hard work to a group of athletes who all dreamed that same dream to become something incredible together. The coaches who chose you? They chose your potential. No one is recruited to come stay the same and play as they did in high school. The work isn’t done, it hasn’t even scratched the surface. The act of being recruited is all about racing towards the opportunity to join a bigger race. The problem with all that focus on getting a spot on the perfect team, is that often when the time comes to get to work and all the announcements, gear handouts, Instagram Pics and stories are over, it no longer feels like the prize that was built up in the athletes’ heads. It doesn’t feel like a trophy! It maybe even feels a little like punishment, and work that’s beyond what’s been done before, stress, and disappointment because it’s not perfect or even close. “The coach loved me when she recruited me, but now the season has started, and I can’t do anything right!” could be muttered by almost every freshman on the pitch. The athlete turnover rate or drop off rate at many programs is very real, even the great ones, because the expectation and reality of playing collegiate lacrosse is being overshadowed and downplayed by the excitement of announcing the coveted offered roster spot. Here are five tips to get your mindset prepared for what’s ahead so that you can have a rewarding collegiate career. Enjoy the announcement BUT save your real excitement for the journey that’s coming ahead in your next four years. Because it’s the journey that holds the real prize, the joy, and the memories. It’s the process that builds sustainable grit, commitment, success, and growth. It’s the daily interactions and triumphs over obstacles that take a little girl’s dream and turn it into an experience that she’ll remember and cherish for a lifetime. It’s not a destination, it’s an adventure! 1.Train at the level you want to play for, now. If waking up at 5 am for lifting followed by running all before breakfast and then a full day of classes, study hall, and finishing the night with a rigorous practice seem like torture now, then you may want to reconsider your plans. You won’t suddenly be all about it just because you’re in college. 2.Practice building relationships with your teammates and classmates, especially the ones you struggle to mesh with. Because your ability to contribute to a great team culture is held back by strained relationships and cliques. If you find fault with many people on your team now, you won’t be better off on your new team. Those personalities exist everywhere, and you’ll struggle even more when the pressure is double. It’s not about needing a new team, but about being a better and more effective teammate yourself. 3.As Jon Gordon says, be a dose of vitamin C instead of a Germ. When things get hard, be the positive voice that gets people rallied behind encouragement and belief rather than a complainer. Your enjoyment during your collegiate career is hinged completely on how you choose to view every situation, and your influence on the team is a big piece to your program’s overall success. 4.Reframe every struggle from being an obstacle to an opportunity. Playing time, injuries, personality differences, misunderstandings, and mistakes are all opportunities to make you a better person, teammate, and athlete. Train yourself to find the lesson in the disappointments before they derail you. Then, tackle those opportunities with action and excitement at what’s to come. 5.Be grateful in everything. For every athlete who gets that spot to play in college, there are several who never realized that dream. They may not have had the exposure, the athleticism needed, or they weren’t encouraged, and they quit, or they had career-ending injuries, or a life catastrophe, and some maybe didn’t get to live long enough to live the dream out. For every one of those girls who didn’t get to put on the jersey you have hanging in your locker, fill yourself with gratitude no matter what you are facing. It’s not fun to run in 30-degree weather before the sun is up when you had to study late and have a cold. It can be miserable, but it’s also a gift. Because that training is an opportunity so many others wished for and it means that come game day, you’re going to pile into that bus with your teammates and live the dream. Every day you get up and get to be a part of something you worked so hard for is an opportunity to say “I GET TO” do this today! But don’t wait until college, start practicing gratitude right now for your high school team, imperfections and all! For all the work you put in to find the best fit for you academically and athletically, don’t neglect the work in mindset that will help you love the journey all the way through and get the most out of it. That NLI isn’t the goal, it’s a gateway and you must be prepared for what’s on the other side, so you can find the real reward.

This begins a trio of great discussions based on IWLCA Blogs, with the first authored by Jenna Handshoe, Head Coach, Presbyterian College; with supporting guests Kate Leavell, Head Coach, Adams State University & Kara Mupo, Assistant Coach, Stanford University Remembering Our Why: https://iwlca.wordpress.com/2018/12/19/remembering-our-why/ -By Jenna Handshoe, Head Coach, Presbyterian College @PCWomensLax It is another year and another IWLCA Annual Meeting has come and gone. Every year, we find ourselves sitting through the various coaches’ presentations, business sessions, and professional development presentations. Every year we have that one take away that we sit and ponder on, then next thing you know season is starting and we are off to the races. This year, I find myself reminiscing on one point driven home: “remember your why.” I am sure that I am not the only coach that has found themselves wondering if this is the right career for them or when is it time to step away? Then something small happens and reminds me why I wanted to be a coach to begin with. We won’t talk about what year it was (and yes, I know I’m not really that old). However, I can still remember that day in seventh grade when my basketball coach asked me about camp. Coach Rogers happened to be my math teacher as well, therefore, this conversation happened during class. Keep in mind, she was the one teacher in the entire school you never wanted to make mad or draw too much attention to yourself around her. We had just moved for the umpteenth time and I told her I wouldn’t be going to North Side the next year. Her response was “do you still want to go to camp?” Of course, in my seventh-grade embarrassment I had to say my mom couldn’t afford to send me to camp, and anyone that knows me knows I can turn a brilliant color of red when I get embarrassed. While that may seem like a boring story of seventh grade Jenna, I will say that was possibly one of the most profound moments of my young life. While the embarrassment of having to admit that I could not afford to go to basketball camp, it was nothing in comparison to the appreciation I still feel for that coach for helping me to attend. Fast forward about ten years, I finally make my way back to my hometown in Elkhart, Indiana. I decided to surprise my aunt who works at the middle school in the library. During that trip, I remember being able to sneak upstairs to see Coach Rogers, who at the time was still teaching in the same classroom as that dreaded seventh grade math class. I was greeted with the biggest hug and coach was in tears at how much I had grown up. I remember standing in her classroom that day and bringing up that basketball camp, just thanking her for the opportunity she had given me. That camp was so much more than just a basketball camp, there is no amount of thank yous or trying to pay coach back for that camp. That camp got me out of a terrible home life situation even if it was just for a few days. To this day, I keep in touch with Coach Rogers via text messages, those casual breakfasts at Stacks Pancake House, and our love for Notre Dame women’s basketball. While I am still embarrassed by the story (occupational hazard of being me), I’ll never forget that basketball camp. Now the real reason behind this story is not to reminisce on my basketball days, rather to remember my why. I love my job, I love the teams that I have been privileged to lead over the years, I love that I get to still be involved in the game of lacrosse. But there are still those days that I find myself wondering if it is time to hang up the whistle and if this is really for me. Lacrosse has literally saved my life and I feel that I owe so much to this game. Lacrosse, like Coach Rogers, is something that I hold very close to my heart and I will always want to be involved in the game in some way, shape, or form. When I start to think about why I coach there are many things that come to mind. The biggest is that we have the power to impact others’ lives in a positive way. I do not pretend to understand or know everything going on in my student-athlete’s lives, however, I hope that I can make a small impact in a positive way like Coach Rogers did for me. I hope that 20 or 30 years down the road those that I have coached don’t remember the games we won or lost but rather the moments they shared with their teammates on the bus or in a locker room. Or even just coming into the office to tell dad jokes back and forth. When remembering my why, it is more than just a game. Yes, we all want to win, but at the end of the day I hope they have the best four years of their lives, while making lifelong friends, before embarking in the real world. If I can impact one athlete’s life in a meaningful way, then all these years of coaching have been worth it.

This is the final in a series of 4 shows discussing key issues in women’s sports, as conceived by a current college student Athlete (Katrina Vogue), with co-guests who have the perspective of the new generation of professional women athletes (Rachell Vallarelli) and one of todays’ most knowledgeable women’s sports advocates and leaders (Becky Carlson). More About Katrina: linkedin.com/in/katrina-voge-773b77166 Katrina is student athlete, in her 4th year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, as a member of the dive team, where she has earned high academic accolades such as: CSCAA Scholar All-American, Academic All-Big 10, Nebrasca Scholar-Athlete Honor Roll, Herman Team GPA Award, and the Tom Osborn Citizenship Team. Katrina was my guest on a previous show for her work with I AM THAT GIRL, helping young women to take the pledge of “…I’m not alone, I’m beautiful, my voice matters, and I am enough.” At Nebraska-Lincoln, she is a member of the N Club Inner Circle Leadership, where 40 student-athletes are selected based on showcasing leadership skills within the athletic community and within the public community; and she is also an Appeals Member of the University Conduct Board, where she and others review breaches of the student code of conduct. More About Rachel: raventerprises.wordpress.com (Blog) Rachel loves to motivate and inspire those around her and is a believer in inspiring change and action, while being a continual lifelong learner. Her greatest pride of all is being a part of something bigger than herself; being an ambassador for the game of lacrosse, and inspiring young women to achieve their dreams. Currently she is a Professional Athlete for the Baltimore Ride, Box Lacrosse Goalie in the Boston Box League, owner of Rachel Vallarelli Lacrosse LLC, Writer for Lax All Stars, Director of Girls Lacrosse at Chelsea Piers CT, and a photographer. She was also the UMass starting goalie (holding UMass, A-10 Conference and NCAA records), a US U19 Women’s National Training Team Member, a New York Athletic Club Athlete, and a 3-year College Coach. More about Becky: thefearlesscoach.org (Blog) Becky is passionate about being a leader in Women's NCAA Rugby and three-time national championship coach, currently with Quinnipiac University. But she is far more passionate about the health and welfare of our coaching population. She is interested in connecting with other coaches who are challenged daily through this profession with today's generation. More important than coaching is her mission of commitment to equity in college athletics. Athletics remains a staple in a long line of vehicles used to create social change, and she’s a firm believer that if we have truthful conversations with the next generation, both male and female about equity and treatment, we can solve unfair hiring and ethical practices in athletics. Ultimately this will lead us to a healthier society with both women and men having equal representation in law making, policy development and in the workforce. If you are having trouble as a coach finding your voice and asking for more, please connect with Becky, and learn from one another.

This is the third in a series of 4 shows discussing key issues in women’s sports, as conceived by a current college student Athlete (Katrina Vogue), with co-guests who have the perspective of the new generation of professional women athletes (Rachell Vallarelli) and one of todays’ most knowledgeable women’s sports advocates and leaders (Becky Carlson). More About Katrina: linkedin.com/in/katrina-voge-773b77166 Katrina is student athlete, in her 4th year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, as a member of the dive team, where she has earned high academic accolades such as: CSCAA Scholar All-American, Academic All-Big 10, Nebrasca Scholar-Athlete Honor Roll, Herman Team GPA Award, and the Tom Osborn Citizenship Team. Katrina was my guest on a previous show for her work with I AM THAT GIRL, helping young women to take the pledge of “…I’m not alone, I’m beautiful, my voice matters, and I am enough.” At Nebraska-Lincoln, she is a member of the N Club Inner Circle Leadership, where 40 student-athletes are selected based on showcasing leadership skills within the athletic community and within the public community; and she is also an Appeals Member of the University Conduct Board, where she and others review breaches of the student code of conduct. More About Rachel: raventerprises.wordpress.com (Blog) Rachel loves to motivate and inspire those around her and is a believer in inspiring change and action, while being a continual lifelong learner. Her greatest pride of all is being a part of something bigger than herself; being an ambassador for the game of lacrosse, and inspiring young women to achieve their dreams. Currently she is a Professional Athlete for the Baltimore Ride, Box Lacrosse Goalie in the Boston Box League, owner of Rachel Vallarelli Lacrosse LLC, Writer for Lax All Stars, Director of Girls Lacrosse at Chelsea Piers CT, and a photographer. She was also the UMass starting goalie (holding UMass, A-10 Conference and NCAA records), a US U19 Women’s National Training Team Member, a New York Athletic Club Athlete, and a 3-year College Coach. More about Becky: thefearlesscoach.org (Blog) Becky is passionate about being a leader in Women's NCAA Rugby and three-time national championship coach, currently with Quinnipiac University. But she is far more passionate about the health and welfare of our coaching population. She is interested in connecting with other coaches who are challenged daily through this profession with today's generation. More important than coaching is her mission of commitment to equity in college athletics. Athletics remains a staple in a long line of vehicles used to create social change, and she’s a firm believer that if we have truthful conversations with the next generation, both male and female about equity and treatment, we can solve unfair hiring and ethical practices in athletics. Ultimately this will lead us to a healthier society with both women and men having equal representation in law making, policy development and in the workforce. If you are having trouble as a coach finding your voice and asking for more, please connect with Becky, and learn from one another.

This is second in a series of 4 shows discussing key issues in women’s sports, as conceived by a current college student Athlete (Katrina Vogue), with co-guests who have the perspective of the new generation of professional women athletes (Rachell Vallarelli) and one of todays’ most knowledgeable women’s sports advocates and leaders (Becky Carlson). More About Katrina: linkedin.com/in/katrina-voge-773b77166 Katrina is student athlete, in her 4th year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, as a member of the dive team, where she has earned high academic accolades such as: CSCAA Scholar All-American, Academic All-Big 10, Nebrasca Scholar-Athlete Honor Roll, Herman Team GPA Award, and the Tom Osborn Citizenship Team. Katrina was my guest on a previous show for her work with I AM THAT GIRL, helping young women to take the pledge of “…I’m not alone, I’m beautiful, my voice matters, and I am enough.” At Nebraska-Lincoln, she is a member of the N Club Inner Circle Leadership, where 40 student-athletes are selected based on showcasing leadership skills within the athletic community and within the public community; and she is also an Appeals Member of the University Conduct Board, where she and others review breaches of the student code of conduct. More About Rachel: raventerprises.wordpress.com (Blog) Rachel loves to motivate and inspire those around her and is a believer in inspiring change and action, while being a continual lifelong learner. Her greatest pride of all is being a part of something bigger than herself; being an ambassador for the game of lacrosse, and inspiring young women to achieve their dreams. Currently she is a Professional Athlete for the Baltimore Ride, Box Lacrosse Goalie in the Boston Box League, owner of Rachel Vallarelli Lacrosse LLC, Writer for Lax All Stars, Director of Girls Lacrosse at Chelsea Piers CT, and a photographer. She was also the UMass starting goalie (holding UMass, A-10 Conference and NCAA records), a US U19 Women’s National Training Team Member, a New York Athletic Club Athlete, and a 3-year College Coach. More about Becky: thefearlesscoach.org (Blog) Becky is passionate about being a leader in Women's NCAA Rugby and three-time national championship coach, currently with Quinnipiac University. But she is far more passionate about the health and welfare of our coaching population. She is interested in connecting with other coaches who are challenged daily through this profession with today's generation. More important than coaching is her mission of commitment to equity in college athletics. Athletics remains a staple in a long line of vehicles used to create social change, and she’s a firm believer that if we have truthful conversations with the next generation, both male and female about equity and treatment, we can solve unfair hiring and ethical practices in athletics. Ultimately this will lead us to a healthier society with both women and men having equal representation in law making, policy development and in the workforce. If you are having trouble as a coach finding your voice and asking for more, please connect with Becky, and learn from one another.

This is 1 in a series of 4 shows discussing key issues in women’s sports, as conceived by a current college student Athlete (Katrina Vogue), with co-guests who have the perspective of the new generation of professional women athletes (Rachell Vallarelli) and one of todays’ most knowledgeable women’s sports advocates and leaders (Becky Carlson). More About Katrina: linkedin.com/in/katrina-voge-773b77166 Katrina is student athlete, in her 4th year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, as a member of the dive team, where she has earned high academic accolades such as: CSCAA Scholar All-American, Academic All-Big 10, Nebrasca Scholar-Athlete Honor Roll, Herman Team GPA Award, and the Tom Osborn Citizenship Team. Katrina was my guest on a previous show for her work with I AM THAT GIRL, helping young women to take the pledge of “…I’m not alone, I’m beautiful, my voice matters, and I am enough.” At Nebraska-Lincoln, she is a member of the N Club Inner Circle Leadership, where 40 student-athletes are selected based on showcasing leadership skills within the athletic community and within the public community; and she is also an Appeals Member of the University Conduct Board, where she and others review breaches of the student code of conduct. More About Rachel: raventerprises.wordpress.com (Blog) Rachel loves to motivate and inspire those around her and is a believer in inspiring change and action, while being a continual lifelong learner. Her greatest pride of all is being a part of something bigger than herself; being an ambassador for the game of lacrosse, and inspiring young women to achieve their dreams. Currently she is a Professional Athlete for the Baltimore Ride, Box Lacrosse Goalie in the Boston Box League, owner of Rachel Vallarelli Lacrosse LLC, Writer for Lax All Stars, Director of Girls Lacrosse at Chelsea Piers CT, and a photographer. She was also the UMass starting goalie (holding UMass, A-10 Conference and NCAA records), a US U19 Women’s National Training Team Member, a New York Athletic Club Athlete, and a 3-year College Coach. More about Becky: thefearlesscoach.org (Blog) Becky is passionate about being a leader in Women's NCAA Rugby and three-time national championship coach, currently with Quinnipiac University. But she is far more passionate about the health and welfare of our coaching population. She is interested in connecting with other coaches who are challenged daily through this profession with today's generation. More important than coaching is her mission of commitment to equity in college athletics. Athletics remains a staple in a long line of vehicles used to create social change, and she’s a firm believer that if we have truthful conversations with the next generation, both male and female about equity and treatment, we can solve unfair hiring and ethical practices in athletics. Ultimately this will lead us to a healthier society with both women and men having equal representation in law making, policy development and in the workforce. If you are having trouble as a coach finding your voice and asking for more, please connect with Becky, and learn from one another.