https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-year-to-understand-yourself--7447703
Hi, I'm Louis Dockers. I’m the voice that sits across from you when a question nags at night. I started this show because I kept wondering why so many of our choices in our twenties feel inevitable and yet surprising.

Each episode I unpack the science behind a feeling or habit, speaking plainly, mapping research onto everyday moments, and closing with a thought that lingers. I explore relationships, work, money, mental health, friendship, and everything that makes growing up both thrilling and exhausting. You probably scroll, overthink, and say “I’ll fix it later” without knowing why.

New episodes come out every Thursday and Sunday at 4:00 AM, each one named like a small psychological mirror. This show is for restless twenty-somethings, new graduates finding their feet, and anyone trying to make sense of messy friendships.

If you want to understand a particular knot in your life, this is your place. Follow along and think of the show as a lamp you switch on to see the shapes of what you feel.]]>enSelf-ImprovementCopyright ABSX Networkhttps://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/b73683c4aa7890d177ed875d3054db5c.jpghttps://www.spreaker.com/podcast/a-year-to-understand-yourself--7447703Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:28:06 +0000ABSX NetworkABSX Networkcreators@obomedia.comA Year to Understand Yourself delivers clear explanations of why your twenties feel like a maze and leaves you understanding yourself a little better. Hi, I'm Louis Dockers. I’m the voice that sits across from you when a question nags at night. I...
Hi, I'm Louis Dockers. I’m the voice that sits across from you when a question nags at night. I started this show because I kept wondering why so many of our choices in our twenties feel inevitable and yet surprising.

Each episode I unpack the science behind a feeling or habit, speaking plainly, mapping research onto everyday moments, and closing with a thought that lingers. I explore relationships, work, money, mental health, friendship, and everything that makes growing up both thrilling and exhausting. You probably scroll, overthink, and say “I’ll fix it later” without knowing why.

New episodes come out every Thursday and Sunday at 4:00 AM, each one named like a small psychological mirror. This show is for restless twenty-somethings, new graduates finding their feet, and anyone trying to make sense of messy friendships.

If you want to understand a particular knot in your life, this is your place. Follow along and think of the show as a lamp you switch on to see the shapes of what you feel.]]>false4c952852-6410-5be8-ab71-c1ea6942dba7episodichttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/ten-thousand-hours-of-what-exactly--75678432
This episode traces where that number came from, what the original study actually measured, and how a single book turned a group average into a universal law. It looks at the deliberate practice research and its limits, the meta analyses that tried to quantify how much practice really explains, the critics who pushed back with evidence about late specialization and cognitive factors, and why the rule still feels true even after the science complicated it. The evidence is examined closely, including its flaws, because the finding that survived is more useful than the myth that replaced it.

If you've been wondering whether your hours in a skill are doing what you think they're doing, this one is for you. Follow along so the next episode finds you.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678432Sat, 10 Oct 2026 08:00:05 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably heard the rule. Put in ten thousand hours and you'll master anything. It sounds motivating, maybe even fair. But if ten thousand hours won't make you great, what does the time you put in actually do for you? The number spread so fast...
This episode traces where that number came from, what the original study actually measured, and how a single book turned a group average into a universal law. It looks at the deliberate practice research and its limits, the meta analyses that tried to quantify how much practice really explains, the critics who pushed back with evidence about late specialization and cognitive factors, and why the rule still feels true even after the science complicated it. The evidence is examined closely, including its flaws, because the finding that survived is more useful than the myth that replaced it.

If you've been wondering whether your hours in a skill are doing what you think they're doing, this one is for you. Follow along so the next episode finds you.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1270falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-self-you-build-after-a-breakup--75678431
This episode follows one person's honest account of building a habit of compression, how it worked until it didn't, and what actually shifted things. It explores why the person who gets left behind tends to ruminate longer, why performing recovery slows the real version down, and what a sibling's very different approach revealed about the whole process. The evidence comes from attachment research, cognitive psychology and lived experience put side by side, without tidying up the parts that don't resolve cleanly. What you take away is less a method and more a different way of recognizing what's actually happening inside you when loss shows up.

If this question is sitting with you, share your answer and follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678431Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:56 +0000ABSX NetworkYou probably told people you were fine before you actually were. Breakup grief is real grief, and the timeline for getting through it is almost always longer than anyone admits out loud. If the person you became after your worst breakup is genuinely...
This episode follows one person's honest account of building a habit of compression, how it worked until it didn't, and what actually shifted things. It explores why the person who gets left behind tends to ruminate longer, why performing recovery slows the real version down, and what a sibling's very different approach revealed about the whole process. The evidence comes from attachment research, cognitive psychology and lived experience put side by side, without tidying up the parts that don't resolve cleanly. What you take away is less a method and more a different way of recognizing what's actually happening inside you when loss shows up.

If this question is sitting with you, share your answer and follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1344falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-psychology-of-life-s-turning-points-why-the-self-takes-longer-than-the-calendar--75678430
This episode explores why transitions hit the way they do, from the three psychological zones every major change moves through, to the five signs you're in one right now, to why the fog and the indecision feel so personal when they're actually structural. The evidence here draws from decades of research into identity, narrative psychology, and how the brain builds its model of who we are. What you take away isn't a checklist but a different relationship with the disorientation itself.

What season just ended for you? Share your answer and follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678430Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:53 +0000ABSX NetworkYou know that feeling when something has clearly ended but you can't quite figure out who you are on the other side of it? Big life changes, chosen or not, do something specific to the self, and understanding what that something is makes all the...
This episode explores why transitions hit the way they do, from the three psychological zones every major change moves through, to the five signs you're in one right now, to why the fog and the indecision feel so personal when they're actually structural. The evidence here draws from decades of research into identity, narrative psychology, and how the brain builds its model of who we are. What you take away isn't a checklist but a different relationship with the disorientation itself.

What season just ended for you? Share your answer and follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1742falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-fear-of-being-judged-is-quietly-running-your-life--75678427
This episode explores where social anxiety really comes from, why it's so easy to mistake it for personality, and what it quietly costs in relationships, work, and creative life. It looks at the specific cycle that keeps the fear alive, the signs that are easy to explain away, and the small behavioral shifts that actually create new evidence for the brain. The focus is on lived experience and research into how this pattern maintains itself, not just how it starts.

If any of this sounds familiar, think about who in your life would recognize themselves in it immediately. Follow along so you don't miss what comes next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678427Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:49 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably convinced yourself you're just introverted, or you just prefer smaller gatherings, or you're simply not a phone person. But what if those preferences aren't really yours? Social anxiety is one of the most common and most misunderstood...
This episode explores where social anxiety really comes from, why it's so easy to mistake it for personality, and what it quietly costs in relationships, work, and creative life. It looks at the specific cycle that keeps the fear alive, the signs that are easy to explain away, and the small behavioral shifts that actually create new evidence for the brain. The focus is on lived experience and research into how this pattern maintains itself, not just how it starts.

If any of this sounds familiar, think about who in your life would recognize themselves in it immediately. Follow along so you don't miss what comes next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1639falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-habit-graveyard-six-mistakes-that-finally-taught-me-what-actually-sticks--75678424
Most habit advice skips the part where it falls apart. Here, six real mistakes become six lessons about what actually drives habits to stick or collapse, from the size of your starting commitment to the hidden habits you never chose at all. Research on automaticity, social behavior, and identity helps explain why effort alone keeps failing you. What you take away isn't a new system. It's a different way of seeing the behavior you already have.

What automatic behavior have you never consciously chosen? Follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678424Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:45 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably started more habits than you can count, and quit most of them, and wondered what that says about you. This episode is about the psychology of lasting behavior change and why the way most of us approach it almost guarantees it won't...
Most habit advice skips the part where it falls apart. Here, six real mistakes become six lessons about what actually drives habits to stick or collapse, from the size of your starting commitment to the hidden habits you never chose at all. Research on automaticity, social behavior, and identity helps explain why effort alone keeps failing you. What you take away isn't a new system. It's a different way of seeing the behavior you already have.

What automatic behavior have you never consciously chosen? Follow along for more conversations like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1552falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-milgram-myth-what-the-most-famous-obedience-study-actually-found--75678423
This episode digs into what the original study actually involved, who the people behind it were, and what the design choices mean for how we read the results. It explores the serious ethical and methodological critiques that rarely make it into the textbook summary, what participants themselves said when researchers tracked them down decades later, and what a more recent partial replication revealed about where the real decision point was. The evidence here comes from original sessions, archival research, and participant interviews that paint a genuinely complicated portrait of human behavior under pressure. What you take away isn't a verdict on human nature. It's a more honest set of questions about when deference becomes dangerous and what makes dissent feel possible.

What would you have told yourself to justify pressing the switch? Share your answer and follow along for more episodes like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678423Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:40 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably heard the number before, sixty five percent of ordinary people delivered what they believed were lethal shocks because a scientist told them to. But how much of what you think you know about the Milgram obedience studies is actually...
This episode digs into what the original study actually involved, who the people behind it were, and what the design choices mean for how we read the results. It explores the serious ethical and methodological critiques that rarely make it into the textbook summary, what participants themselves said when researchers tracked them down decades later, and what a more recent partial replication revealed about where the real decision point was. The evidence here comes from original sessions, archival research, and participant interviews that paint a genuinely complicated portrait of human behavior under pressure. What you take away isn't a verdict on human nature. It's a more honest set of questions about when deference becomes dangerous and what makes dissent feel possible.

What would you have told yourself to justify pressing the switch? Share your answer and follow along for more episodes like this one.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1229falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-perfectionism-loop-why-good-enough-feels-like-giving-up--75678420
The episode traces where the perfectionism habit starts, how early praise and conditional approval wire it in before you're old enough to question it, and what psychology actually says about tying your sense of worth to outcomes. It looks at the difference between the drive to do good work and the loop that never lets you feel done, and at the specific moment when a strategy that used to pay off starts costing more than it returns. Research on contingent self worth, socially prescribed perfectionism and creative motivation shapes the conversation without turning it into a lecture.

What do you recognize in this? Follow along for more conversations like it.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678420Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:36 +0000ABSX NetworkYou reread the email after you sent it. You redo the thing nobody asked you to redo. You finish the project and feel nothing except awareness that the next one is already waiting. Perfectionism gets called a strength, but this episode asks whether...
The episode traces where the perfectionism habit starts, how early praise and conditional approval wire it in before you're old enough to question it, and what psychology actually says about tying your sense of worth to outcomes. It looks at the difference between the drive to do good work and the loop that never lets you feel done, and at the specific moment when a strategy that used to pay off starts costing more than it returns. Research on contingent self worth, socially prescribed perfectionism and creative motivation shapes the conversation without turning it into a lecture.

What do you recognize in this? Follow along for more conversations like it.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1183falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-quiet-goodbye-why-friendships-fade-without-a-fight--75678419
The episode explores where this kind of fading shows up most, the five signs you're already in it, and the structural reasons adult life quietly dismantles friendships without anyone deciding to let them go. It also gets into why the fade ends up feeling like a personal flaw when it almost never is, what the real costs are for your health and your sense of self, and four concrete ways to reverse it. Research on how our social networks shift over years and how little it takes to reconnect shapes the whole conversation. You'll come away with a different way of thinking about who you've been meaning to reach out to and why today is actually the right time.

If this one landed, share your answer to that closing question with someone who has their own list. Follow along so you catch what's next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678419Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:32 +0000ABSX NetworkYou probably have someone in mind right now, a person you genuinely like, maybe even miss, who you just somehow stopped talking to. This episode is about friendship attrition, the slow, silent disappearance of close relationships that happens without...
The episode explores where this kind of fading shows up most, the five signs you're already in it, and the structural reasons adult life quietly dismantles friendships without anyone deciding to let them go. It also gets into why the fade ends up feeling like a personal flaw when it almost never is, what the real costs are for your health and your sense of self, and four concrete ways to reverse it. Research on how our social networks shift over years and how little it takes to reconnect shapes the whole conversation. You'll come away with a different way of thinking about who you've been meaning to reach out to and why today is actually the right time.

If this one landed, share your answer to that closing question with someone who has their own list. Follow along so you catch what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1364falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/what-you-were-really-shopping-for--75678417
This episode looks at six specific spending mistakes and what each one revealed about the emotional gap between the purchase and the actual need. It explores how identity, anxiety, social comparison, and the sunk cost trap quietly drive the cart, and how retail therapy works just well enough to keep us coming back. Research on loss aversion, aspirational consumption, and positional spending gives the pattern a name. What you take away is a way of reading your own urges before you tap buy.

When you think about your own version of this list, what comes up? Follow along so you don't miss what's next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678417Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:28 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably looked at something you bought and wondered why you even got it. Impulse spending is one of the most common and least understood money habits, and the real question isn't about your budget. When you bought the last thing you didn't...
This episode looks at six specific spending mistakes and what each one revealed about the emotional gap between the purchase and the actual need. It explores how identity, anxiety, social comparison, and the sunk cost trap quietly drive the cart, and how retail therapy works just well enough to keep us coming back. Research on loss aversion, aspirational consumption, and positional spending gives the pattern a name. What you take away is a way of reading your own urges before you tap buy.

When you think about your own version of this list, what comes up? Follow along so you don't miss what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1460falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-five-stages-of-grief-are-not-science--75678415
This episode traces how a single observer's notes on dying patients became a cultural script for all human loss, where the model breaks down methodologically and ethically, what decades of actual bereavement research found instead, and why the model refuses to die even after the field moved on. The evidence comes from longitudinal bereavement studies and the public record of what the people closest to this framework said about it later. What you take away is not a better checklist but a different relationship to the idea that grief can be done correctly.

If this question about how we measure loss resonates with you, share your answer and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678415Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:24 +0000ABSX NetworkYou probably learned the five stages of grief the same way most people did, from a pamphlet, a TV show, or a well meaning friend who handed you a list and called it healing. The five stage model is one of the most widely believed frameworks in...
This episode traces how a single observer's notes on dying patients became a cultural script for all human loss, where the model breaks down methodologically and ethically, what decades of actual bereavement research found instead, and why the model refuses to die even after the field moved on. The evidence comes from longitudinal bereavement studies and the public record of what the people closest to this framework said about it later. What you take away is not a better checklist but a different relationship to the idea that grief can be done correctly.

If this question about how we measure loss resonates with you, share your answer and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1127falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-five-stages-were-never-meant-for-you--75678413
This episode traces where the model came from, who it was originally built for, and why it jumped so far beyond its original purpose. It examines what rigorous bereavement research actually found, including findings about resilience, the role of yearning, and whether acceptance really comes last. The evidence comes from longitudinal studies, theoretical alternatives, and the work of researchers who have pushed back against stage thinking for decades. What you take away isn't a new list. It's a more honest way to hold the losses that don't come with a finish line.

What smaller grief are you still waiting to reach acceptance on? Follow along so you don't miss the next episode.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678413Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:19 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably heard that grief has five stages, and you may have caught yourself checking which one you're in. The five stage model is one of the most widely repeated ideas in popular psychology, and almost everyone is using it for something it was...
This episode traces where the model came from, who it was originally built for, and why it jumped so far beyond its original purpose. It examines what rigorous bereavement research actually found, including findings about resilience, the role of yearning, and whether acceptance really comes last. The evidence comes from longitudinal studies, theoretical alternatives, and the work of researchers who have pushed back against stage thinking for decades. What you take away isn't a new list. It's a more honest way to hold the losses that don't come with a finish line.

What smaller grief are you still waiting to reach acceptance on? Follow along so you don't miss the next episode.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1013falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/the-rush-isn-t-love-it-s-anxiety-in-a-good-outfit--75678412
The episode explores where escalation shows up and why certain life circumstances make it almost inevitable, what the signs look like from the inside, where the pattern comes from in early experience and culture, and what it quietly costs over time. Four concrete strategies get examined alongside the research on attachment, trust, and how attraction actually builds. The science behind why intensity and depth get confused so easily shapes the whole conversation.

If this question landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone in that early electric stage who might need to hear it, and follow along for more conversations like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678412Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:16 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've felt it before, that overwhelming pull toward someone new that makes you want to lock it in immediately, to plan, to merge, to make it real. This episode is about relationship escalation, the pattern of compressing emotional timelines before...
The episode explores where escalation shows up and why certain life circumstances make it almost inevitable, what the signs look like from the inside, where the pattern comes from in early experience and culture, and what it quietly costs over time. Four concrete strategies get examined alongside the research on attachment, trust, and how attraction actually builds. The science behind why intensity and depth get confused so easily shapes the whole conversation.

If this question landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone in that early electric stage who might need to hear it, and follow along for more conversations like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1391falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/regret-is-a-map-not-a-verdict--75678410
This episode explores where regret shows up across relationships, work, and identity, why it concentrates in specific areas of life, what makes it feel like a personality trait rather than a passing response, and what it actually costs when it goes unread. The conversation draws on research into counterfactual thinking, self compassion, and how we build alternate timelines in our minds, without revealing what the findings say. What you walk away with is a way of reading regret that makes it less of a weight and more of a direction.

If this landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone who might need it, and follow along for more.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678410Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:13 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably had that low hum in the background, the feeling that a different choice would have led somewhere better. Regret is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it's rarely talked about as a source of useful information. The central...
This episode explores where regret shows up across relationships, work, and identity, why it concentrates in specific areas of life, what makes it feel like a personality trait rather than a passing response, and what it actually costs when it goes unread. The conversation draws on research into counterfactual thinking, self compassion, and how we build alternate timelines in our minds, without revealing what the findings say. What you walk away with is a way of reading regret that makes it less of a weight and more of a direction.

If this landed somewhere real for you, share it with someone who might need it, and follow along for more.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1572falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/go-out-or-stay-in-six-lessons-your-younger-self-needed-to-hear--75678408
This episode works through six hard earned ideas about social energy, from the way anxiety distorts your forecast before an event, to the difference between restorative solitude and avoidance dressed up as self care. It looks at why you feel invisible even when you show up, how much other people actually notice your comings and goings, and what happens when a habit quietly takes over your calendar without your permission. Research on social behavior, attention restoration and affective forecasting shapes the conversation throughout. What you take away isn't a formula. It's a sharper sense of when the decision is really yours.

What would you tell your younger self about going out, and which of these lessons are you still working on? Follow along so you don't miss what comes next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678408Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:08 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably said yes when you meant no, or cancelled and spent the night feeling worse than the party would have made you feel. The tension between going out and staying in isn't just about introversion or energy levels. It's about what's actually...
This episode works through six hard earned ideas about social energy, from the way anxiety distorts your forecast before an event, to the difference between restorative solitude and avoidance dressed up as self care. It looks at why you feel invisible even when you show up, how much other people actually notice your comings and goings, and what happens when a habit quietly takes over your calendar without your permission. Research on social behavior, attention restoration and affective forecasting shapes the conversation throughout. What you take away isn't a formula. It's a sharper sense of when the decision is really yours.

What would you tell your younger self about going out, and which of these lessons are you still working on? Follow along so you don't miss what comes next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1310falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/your-personality-type-is-not-your-personality--75678406
This episode traces the origins of the Myers Briggs from a mother and daughter working outside academia, through the decades of psychometric research that raised serious questions about reliability and structure, and into the cultural explosion that kept it growing anyway. It looks at what happens when a binary framework meets a continuous human reality, why the method problems carry real consequences in hiring and therapy, and how a more empirically grounded model developed alongside it without ever catching on the same way. The evidence is handled carefully, without easy answers.

What were you actually looking for when you took the test? Share your answer with someone who'd want to argue about it, and follow along for more.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678406Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:01:04 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably led with four letters at some point, in a job interview, on a dating profile, or just explaining yourself to a new friend. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is everywhere, but the science behind it tells a different story than the...
This episode traces the origins of the Myers Briggs from a mother and daughter working outside academia, through the decades of psychometric research that raised serious questions about reliability and structure, and into the cultural explosion that kept it growing anyway. It looks at what happens when a binary framework meets a continuous human reality, why the method problems carry real consequences in hiring and therapy, and how a more empirically grounded model developed alongside it without ever catching on the same way. The evidence is handled carefully, without easy answers.

What were you actually looking for when you took the test? Share your answer with someone who'd want to argue about it, and follow along for more.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1247falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/you-re-not-broken-you-re-just-wired-this-way--75678405
This episode traces how anxiety takes root early, how it gets reinforced in ordinary life, and why it so often looks like competence from the outside while quietly costing things on the inside. It explores what it actually feels like when everyday anxiety stops being background noise and starts eating real time, what a few honest shifts in relationship to it can look like, and what stays unresolved even after the work begins. The focus is personal and psychological, drawing on lived experience and research in affective neuroscience and cognitive psychology, without pretending any of it wraps up cleanly.

If this one lands for you, share your answer to that closing question, and follow along for what comes next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678405Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:59 +0000ABSX NetworkYou know that low hum of worry that never quite goes away, even when nothing is actually wrong? Everyday anxiety is one of the most common human experiences, yet most of us spend years trying to get rid of it rather than understand it. The central...
This episode traces how anxiety takes root early, how it gets reinforced in ordinary life, and why it so often looks like competence from the outside while quietly costing things on the inside. It explores what it actually feels like when everyday anxiety stops being background noise and starts eating real time, what a few honest shifts in relationship to it can look like, and what stays unresolved even after the work begins. The focus is personal and psychological, drawing on lived experience and research in affective neuroscience and cognitive psychology, without pretending any of it wraps up cleanly.

If this one lands for you, share your answer to that closing question, and follow along for what comes next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
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This episode gets into where people pleasing actually shows up across work, friendships, and relationships, then traces it back to the environments and attachment patterns that built it in the first place. It asks why the habit feels less like a strategy and more like a personality, and what it quietly takes from you over time. The angle is behavioral and psychological, grounded in how approval seeking develops and why it persists, with no tidy resolution handed over. What you take away is a clearer view of the pattern and four ways to start shifting it that don't require becoming a different person.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678404Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:56 +0000ABSX NetworkYou say yes before you even know what you want, and somehow that's supposed to be a good thing. People pleasing gets mistaken for kindness constantly, but the cost it runs up is something most people never get to name clearly. If you stopped managing...
This episode gets into where people pleasing actually shows up across work, friendships, and relationships, then traces it back to the environments and attachment patterns that built it in the first place. It asks why the habit feels less like a strategy and more like a personality, and what it quietly takes from you over time. The angle is behavioral and psychological, grounded in how approval seeking develops and why it persists, with no tidy resolution handed over. What you take away is a clearer view of the pattern and four ways to start shifting it that don't require becoming a different person.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
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This episode explores six lessons about surviving and learning from your first job, from the psychology of why you think everyone is watching your mistakes to the way a job title can quietly hijack your sense of self worth. It looks at what early career research says about identity, visibility, and the real function of misalignment, drawing on decades of work in vocational and organizational psychology. You'll come away with a more honest and more forgiving frame for whatever your first job was, or still is.

What would you tell a younger version of yourself on that first day? Share your answer with someone who needs to hear it, and follow along for more.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678402Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:53 +0000ABSX NetworkStarting your first real job can feel like walking into a room where everyone else got a memo you never received. The gap between who you are and who you think you need to be is disorienting, and most advice about it is either too polished or too...
This episode explores six lessons about surviving and learning from your first job, from the psychology of why you think everyone is watching your mistakes to the way a job title can quietly hijack your sense of self worth. It looks at what early career research says about identity, visibility, and the real function of misalignment, drawing on decades of work in vocational and organizational psychology. You'll come away with a more honest and more forgiving frame for whatever your first job was, or still is.

What would you tell a younger version of yourself on that first day? Share your answer with someone who needs to hear it, and follow along for more.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
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This episode digs into why the idea that survival must come before purpose feels so logical, who built that framework and on what evidence, and whether the neat sequence it promises actually holds up across decades of research and real human lives. The evidence comes from historical records, cross-cultural data, and decades of attempts to confirm what most people already believe is settled fact. What you take away isn't a new checklist but a different way of holding the practical and the meaningful at the same time.

If this episode stirred something for you, share what you're sitting with, and follow along so you don't miss what's next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678400Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:48 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've probably told yourself you'll figure out the bigger stuff once the money stuff feels settled. That's not just a habit, it's a belief with a famous name attached to it, and it might be costing you more than you think. If your basic needs and...
This episode digs into why the idea that survival must come before purpose feels so logical, who built that framework and on what evidence, and whether the neat sequence it promises actually holds up across decades of research and real human lives. The evidence comes from historical records, cross-cultural data, and decades of attempts to confirm what most people already believe is settled fact. What you take away isn't a new checklist but a different way of holding the practical and the meaningful at the same time.

If this episode stirred something for you, share what you're sitting with, and follow along so you don't miss what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1291falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/why-you-keep-choosing-the-same-person--75678399
This episode traces one person's pattern across their twenties, from the pull toward emotional unavailability to the moment calm started feeling like absence rather than safety. It explores how early attachment shapes what feels familiar, why uncertainty gets mistaken for attraction, and what it actually looks like to start choosing instead of just being chosen. The angle is personal and lived, grounded in real psychological research without turning into a lecture.

If this episode surfaces something for you, sit with the closing question and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow along so you don't miss what's next.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678399Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:45 +0000ABSX NetworkYou've ended things, started over, and somehow landed in the same place with a different face across from you. Choosing a partner turns out to be less about finding the right person and more about understanding what you're actually looking for and why...
This episode traces one person's pattern across their twenties, from the pull toward emotional unavailability to the moment calm started feeling like absence rather than safety. It explores how early attachment shapes what feels familiar, why uncertainty gets mistaken for attraction, and what it actually looks like to start choosing instead of just being chosen. The angle is personal and lived, grounded in real psychological research without turning into a lecture.

If this episode surfaces something for you, sit with the closing question and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow along so you don't miss what's next.

To listen to this podcast ad-free and access premium episodes, try our subscription with a 14-day free trial at obomedia.com.

© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>1553falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/limerence-is-not-love--75678397
This episode explores what limerence actually is and how it differs from love, where it tends to hit hardest and why certain moments in life make you more vulnerable to it, what the specific costs look like over time, and four concrete ways to stay in your own judgment while the feeling is loudest. The science of early romantic attraction and decades of research into obsessive attachment shape the conversation throughout. You will come away with a clearer read on your own patterns and a more honest way of moving through early romance.

What does speed in a relationship actually signal for you? Follow the show so you never miss an episode like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
This episode and its content (audio, text, and related materials) are the exclusive property of OBOMEDIA and are protected by applicable copyright laws. Reproduction, distribution, editing, or commercial use, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from OBOMEDIA is prohibited. For permissions, licensing, and business inquiries: business@obomedia.com.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/75678397Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:00:41 +0000ABSX NetworkYou meet someone and within days the whole world reorganizes around them. That feeling has a name, and understanding it might be the most useful thing you do for your romantic life. If slowing down feels like losing something, what does that tell you...
This episode explores what limerence actually is and how it differs from love, where it tends to hit hardest and why certain moments in life make you more vulnerable to it, what the specific costs look like over time, and four concrete ways to stay in your own judgment while the feeling is loudest. The science of early romantic attraction and decades of research into obsessive attachment shape the conversation throughout. You will come away with a clearer read on your own patterns and a more honest way of moving through early romance.

What does speed in a relationship actually signal for you? Follow the show so you never miss an episode like this one.

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© 2026 OBOMEDIA. All rights reserved.
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