<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:podcast="https://podcastindex.org/namespace/1.0" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" version="2.0"><channel><title>The Weekly Report</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-weekly-report--6448316</link><description><![CDATA[Every single week, the world drops a mountain of news, noise, and absolute nonsense on our feeds. But you don't need a dry, rigid news anchor to break it down—you need <b>Clint Coley</b> and <b>Jasmine Burton</b>.<b>The Weekly Report</b> is your official Tuesday morning brief on the culture, politics, sports, and media. Recorded fresh every Monday, Clint and Jasmine cut through the media spin to deliver the real, raw, and hilarious truth about current events. Blending sharp comedic analysis with grounded, honest perspectives, they tackle the headlines you're texting your friends about, alongside the vital stories you might have missed.No teleprompters. No corporate filters. Just the definitive weekly debrief you actually look forward to.<b>Subscribe now and never miss a Report.</b> <br /><ul><li><b>Fresh Delivery:</b> Recorded Mondays, dropping everywhere you get your podcasts first thing Tuesday morning.</li><li><b>The Culture Dynamic:</b> A perfect blend of Clint’s sharp comedic wit and Jasmine’s funny insightful, current-events-driven analysis.</li><li><b>Complete Coverage:</b> From major political shifts and sports milestones to the wildest pop culture moments of the week.</li></ul>]]></description><atom:link href="https://www.spreaker.com/show/6448316/episodes/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><language>en</language><category>Society &amp; Culture</category><copyright>Copyright Clint Coley</copyright><image><url>https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/2a43f1433e866d18e184c464d71a60cb.jpg</url><title>The Weekly Report</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-weekly-report--6448316</link></image><lastBuildDate>Mon, 10 Aug 2026 23:39:11 +0000</lastBuildDate><itunes:author>Clint Coley &amp; Jasmine Burton</itunes:author><itunes:owner><itunes:name>Clint Coley &amp; Jasmine Burton</itunes:name><itunes:email>clint@everybodyeatsproductions.com</itunes:email></itunes:owner><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/2a43f1433e866d18e184c464d71a60cb.jpg"/><itunes:subtitle>Every single week, the world drops a mountain of news, noise, and absolute nonsense on our feeds. But you don't need a dry, rigid news anchor to break it down—you need Clint Coley and Jasmine Burton.The Weekly Report is your official Tuesday morning...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Every single week, the world drops a mountain of news, noise, and absolute nonsense on our feeds. But you don't need a dry, rigid news anchor to break it down—you need <b>Clint Coley</b> and <b>Jasmine Burton</b>.<b>The Weekly Report</b> is your official Tuesday morning brief on the culture, politics, sports, and media. Recorded fresh every Monday, Clint and Jasmine cut through the media spin to deliver the real, raw, and hilarious truth about current events. Blending sharp comedic analysis with grounded, honest perspectives, they tackle the headlines you're texting your friends about, alongside the vital stories you might have missed.No teleprompters. No corporate filters. Just the definitive weekly debrief you actually look forward to.<b>Subscribe now and never miss a Report.</b> <br /><ul><li><b>Fresh Delivery:</b> Recorded Mondays, dropping everywhere you get your podcasts first thing Tuesday morning.</li><li><b>The Culture Dynamic:</b> A perfect blend of Clint’s sharp comedic wit and Jasmine’s funny insightful, current-events-driven analysis.</li><li><b>Complete Coverage:</b> From major political shifts and sports milestones to the wildest pop culture moments of the week.</li></ul>]]></itunes:summary><itunes:category text="Society &amp; Culture"/><itunes:category text="Comedy"/><itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit><podcast:guid>78ba21d3-9396-5b03-a632-bb52b991789a</podcast:guid><itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type><item><title>August 10, 2026</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/episode/august-10-2026--73784420</link><description><![CDATA[<b>The internet is acting up again, and Clint Coley (@clintcoley) and Jasmine Burton (@finessquire) are here to break down the sheer madness on this week’s episode of The Weekly Report!</b><br /><b></b><br />First up, the duo reacts to Enes Kanter’s wild claims about making a jump to the WNBA—Clint has thoughts on the sports logistics, while Jasmine questions the entire premise.<br /><br />Then, they dive into a 50th birthday party that turned into a full-blown self-wedding. Is it ultimate self-love, or did someone just really want a tiered cake and registry gifts?Later in the show:<ul><li>The Grim Reaper at the Hospital: A guy gets arrested for haunting hospital grounds in full costume—harmless stunt or absolute menace behavior?</li><li>Spider-Man Saves the Summer: How Spider-Man single-handedly revived the summer blockbuster experience and got everyone back into movie theaters.</li><li>Drake’s Toronto Influencer Dinner: Drake hosted an exclusive dinner for local creators, and the hosts dissect who got the invite, who got snubbed, and the social media fallout that followed.</li></ul><b>Follow the hosts on Instagram: @clintcoley &amp; @finessquireGrab your seat at the table—it’s time for The Weekly Report!</b>]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">https://api.spreaker.com/episode/73784420</guid><pubDate>Mon, 10 Aug 2026 23:37:15 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/73784420/august_10th.mp3" length="46906014" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>Clint Coley &amp; Jasmine Burton</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>The internet is acting up again, and Clint Coley (@clintcoley) and Jasmine Burton (@finessquire) are here to break down the sheer madness on this week’s episode of The Weekly Report!

First up, the duo reacts to Enes Kanter’s wild claims about making...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[<b>The internet is acting up again, and Clint Coley (@clintcoley) and Jasmine Burton (@finessquire) are here to break down the sheer madness on this week’s episode of The Weekly Report!</b><br /><b></b><br />First up, the duo reacts to Enes Kanter’s wild claims about making a jump to the WNBA—Clint has thoughts on the sports logistics, while Jasmine questions the entire premise.<br /><br />Then, they dive into a 50th birthday party that turned into a full-blown self-wedding. Is it ultimate self-love, or did someone just really want a tiered cake and registry gifts?Later in the show:<ul><li>The Grim Reaper at the Hospital: A guy gets arrested for haunting hospital grounds in full costume—harmless stunt or absolute menace behavior?</li><li>Spider-Man Saves the Summer: How Spider-Man single-handedly revived the summer blockbuster experience and got everyone back into movie theaters.</li><li>Drake’s Toronto Influencer Dinner: Drake hosted an exclusive dinner for local creators, and the hosts dissect who got the invite, who got snubbed, and the social media fallout that followed.</li></ul><b>Follow the hosts on Instagram: @clintcoley &amp; @finessquireGrab your seat at the table—it’s time for The Weekly Report!</b>]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>1955</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/1fc6fa3c12f014ced695c4cec0781935.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType></item><item><title>August 3, 2026</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/episode/august-3-2026--73412000</link><description><![CDATA[This week on <b>The Weekly Report</b>, Clint Coley and comedian Jasmine Burton are back to break down the wild headlines you missed while trying to mind your business!<ul><li><b>Diddy Shaves Time Off His Sentence:</b> Diddy managed to get about a month chopped off his federal prison sentence. Jasmine gives the legal breakdown on how prison credits actually work, while Clint asks the real question: <i>What is he doing in there to get good behavior points so fast?!</i></li><li><b>Ms. Rachel in the Hot Seat:</b> The internet’s favorite toddler-whisperer, Ms. Rachel, is facing viral backlash. Is the internet overreacting, or did the children's host step into something she wasn't ready for? Clint and Jasmine dive into why <i>nobody</i> is cancelling Ms. Rachel.</li><li><b>NYC Mayor Talks Reparations:</b> The Mayor of New York City is officially putting reparations back on the table. Clint is already calculating his payout, but Jasmine brings everyone back to reality to talk policy, logistics, and whether a check is ever actually coming.</li></ul>Grab your coffee (or your favorite drink) and tap in for the laughs, the legal takes, and the realest conversation on the internet!<b>Follow the Hosts:</b><ul><li><b>Clint Coley:</b> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@clintcoley" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">@clintcoley</a></li><li><b>Jasmine Burton:</b> @finessesquire</li></ul>]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">https://api.spreaker.com/episode/73412000</guid><pubDate>Tue, 04 Aug 2026 00:37:28 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/73412000/utf_8_q_untitled_8_3_26_5_18_e2_80_afpm_mp3.mp3" length="51114654" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>Clint Coley &amp; Jasmine Burton</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>This week on The Weekly Report, Clint Coley and comedian Jasmine Burton are back to break down the wild headlines you missed while trying to mind your business!
- Diddy Shaves Time Off His Sentence: Diddy managed to get about a month chopped off his...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[This week on <b>The Weekly Report</b>, Clint Coley and comedian Jasmine Burton are back to break down the wild headlines you missed while trying to mind your business!<ul><li><b>Diddy Shaves Time Off His Sentence:</b> Diddy managed to get about a month chopped off his federal prison sentence. Jasmine gives the legal breakdown on how prison credits actually work, while Clint asks the real question: <i>What is he doing in there to get good behavior points so fast?!</i></li><li><b>Ms. Rachel in the Hot Seat:</b> The internet’s favorite toddler-whisperer, Ms. Rachel, is facing viral backlash. Is the internet overreacting, or did the children's host step into something she wasn't ready for? Clint and Jasmine dive into why <i>nobody</i> is cancelling Ms. Rachel.</li><li><b>NYC Mayor Talks Reparations:</b> The Mayor of New York City is officially putting reparations back on the table. Clint is already calculating his payout, but Jasmine brings everyone back to reality to talk policy, logistics, and whether a check is ever actually coming.</li></ul>Grab your coffee (or your favorite drink) and tap in for the laughs, the legal takes, and the realest conversation on the internet!<b>Follow the Hosts:</b><ul><li><b>Clint Coley:</b> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@clintcoley" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">@clintcoley</a></li><li><b>Jasmine Burton:</b> @finessesquire</li></ul>]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>2130</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>false</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/f14b20d95862bfd6a541c7839219ff9c.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType></item></channel></rss>
