https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/turquoisetoileenSocial SciencesCopyright Turquoise Etoilehttps://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/0a50836fd025fd550d6344164c85cb91.jpghttps://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/turquoisetoileWed, 09 Oct 2024 20:24:39 +0000Turquoise EtoileTurquoise Etoilebluec9066@gmail.comIdeals Code of Universal Ethics/Mental Health Ethics & Social Healthtrue8f1141cf-3087-5e54-baf8-9236c3c64909episodichttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/they-re-after-me--62304060https://api.spreaker.com/episode/62304060Wed, 09 Oct 2024 20:24:08 +0000Turquoise EtoileIt's my third day out of the IOP and out of their informal aversion therapy. They're still calling me they're still trying to pick me up in the van. And I am ignoring them.557truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/ideals-code-of-universal-ethics-modesty--62147879https://api.spreaker.com/episode/62147879Sat, 28 Sep 2024 19:01:47 +0000Turquoise EtoileThe antidote to low self-esteem and grandiosity.495modestyfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/ideals-code-of-universal-ethics-gratitude--62057930https://api.spreaker.com/episode/62057930Sat, 21 Sep 2024 19:38:48 +0000Turquoise EtoileWhy I believe we must have gratitude.204falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/turning-my-limerence-over--62014687 This is my own experience strength and hope.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/62014687Wed, 18 Sep 2024 16:38:08 +0000Turquoise EtoileJoin me in prayer as my struggle with my crush continues and I attempt to turn it over to my higher power. This is my own experience strength and hope. This is my own experience strength and hope.]]>536falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/a-new-kind-of-harassment-soft-ghosting--61556149 Honesty is hard to come by because many people lie and lie by omission. They lie quietly which means they tell lies they think they can slip under a rug because they think it won't hurt anyone. But when the truth leaks out or possible truth leaks out in a bad feeling, the lie is never harmless.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/61556149Sat, 14 Sep 2024 05:04:45 +0000Turquoise EtoileMost people change their phone numbers or shut down their voicemails or their phones to keep active phone harassment out. But there is a new kind of harassment going on and it's called soft ghosting and in my opinion it isn't so soft because the... Honesty is hard to come by because many people lie and lie by omission. They lie quietly which means they tell lies they think they can slip under a rug because they think it won't hurt anyone. But when the truth leaks out or possible truth leaks out in a bad feeling, the lie is never harmless.]]>867honesty,lyingfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/it-was-not-meant-to-be--61189520 You can look up my other podcast if you want hopefully there's more information there about what's been going on.
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/61189520Wed, 28 Aug 2024 18:28:25 +0000Turquoise EtoileStruggling to end an interaction that never should have been. (Religion mentioned) You can look up my other podcast if you want hopefully there's more information there about what's been going on.... You can look up my other podcast if you want hopefully there's more information there about what's been going on.
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>457toxicfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/is-lgbtq-really-an-abomination--61053096https://api.spreaker.com/episode/61053096Fri, 16 Aug 2024 14:31:40 +0000Turquoise EtoileRepeatedly people use the argument about Sodom and Gomorrah to condemn lgbtq+ people. And it is for that reason that I and many others feel like we have to be silent about being lgbtq+. It's still permeating in our society and it's still leaking into...621falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/defining-each-of-my-six-commandments--60990434https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60990434Sun, 11 Aug 2024 19:45:51 +0000Turquoise Etoile626falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/limerents-anonymous--60915672 Would you like that?
This is my idea for a 12-step program.
With the help of AI, and the inspiration by my own pain and by my higher power, the following video and podcast episode describes my new 12-step program for limerence!]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60915672Sun, 04 Aug 2024 07:51:59 +0000Turquoise EtoileI'm grateful to the 12th step programs in the United States and around the world, especially Alcoholics Anonymous. I truly believe that I cannot deal with my problem alone. I need a power greater than myself. I need other people going through this. I... Would you like that?
This is my idea for a 12-step program.
With the help of AI, and the inspiration by my own pain and by my higher power, the following video and podcast episode describes my new 12-step program for limerence!]]>467falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/next-time-they-want-you-remember-when-they-didn-t--60912858 In my case none of that happened. There was a meet and greet. There was a phone date. There were hugs and positive regards.
But they always fell apart.
I'm still left with nothing.
Let's no longer be hoovered.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60912858Sat, 03 Aug 2024 20:07:17 +0000Turquoise EtoileThey may have hugged you, they may have told you they loved you, they may have told you that you brightened their day, the meet and greet may have been wonderful and starry, the phone date may have promised to follow up phone call. In my case none of... In my case none of that happened. There was a meet and greet. There was a phone date. There were hugs and positive regards.
But they always fell apart.
I'm still left with nothing.
Let's no longer be hoovered.]]>229hooveringfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/avoiding-my-limerent-interest-for-my-sanity--60881436https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60881436Thu, 01 Aug 2024 06:03:22 +0000Turquoise Etoile472falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/dear-olga-i-will-never-stop-loving-you-but--60831805 (I describe a synopsis of 9 months of my struggle to try, in vain, to make a friendship work)
I believe that it's one of those things where we're both right and both wrong.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60831805Sun, 28 Jul 2024 01:06:55 +0000Turquoise EtoileIt's too late now to save this friendship. Here's why. (I describe a synopsis of 9 months of my struggle to try, in vain, to make a friendship work) I believe that it's one of those things where we're both right and both wrong. (I describe a synopsis of 9 months of my struggle to try, in vain, to make a friendship work)
I believe that it's one of those things where we're both right and both wrong.]]>855heartbreak,invain,lgbtq,limerence,movingon,waitingfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/my-limerent-interest-is-getting-in-again--60810290https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60810290Fri, 26 Jul 2024 04:46:56 +0000Turquoise EtoileFor the millionth time I've attempted to detach from her and she still got in yesterday and today ignored me again. I share some more of my struggle and keep hoping that I find my way out. For more information please refer to the videos before this...893limerence,pavlovsdogfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/who-can-we-trust-as-u-s-president-2024-a-noncorporate--60806979https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60806979Thu, 25 Jul 2024 23:23:36 +0000Turquoise EtoileKamala Harris may divert votes back to Democrats support. I'm voting for Green. Beware --- both candidates sound good against Trump dictatorship, but one is noncorporate. Guess who?159greenparty,jillstein,kamalaharrisfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/anti-limerence-meditation-part-2-seeing-the-person-as-they-are--60796081https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60796081Thu, 25 Jul 2024 01:19:59 +0000Turquoise EtoileI did another episode this morning and I'm going to call it part 1. Please refer to that one before you watch this one. This is part 2. "Seeing them as they are", not seeing them with a limerent idea of them.630limerencefalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/anti-limerence-meditation-exercise-part-1-no-contact--60791694 This is my own personal walkthrough.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60791694Wed, 24 Jul 2024 17:33:53 +0000Turquoise EtoileI walk myself and anyone interested through a meditation to deal with recovery from limerence. This is my own personal walkthrough. This is my own personal walkthrough.]]>463limerencefalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/no-contact-the-only-antidote-to-limerence-when-connection-doesn-t-stick--60773446https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60773446Tue, 23 Jul 2024 05:53:12 +0000Turquoise EtoileTwo weeks ago I thought I had said goodbye to Olga for good with one last text. But since she's still there every day, and since one of the counselors set us up, as I had discovered he had been doing for months with us, for those weeks past I've had...725falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/is-it-in-my-head-or-is-it-really-happening--60703249https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60703249Tue, 16 Jul 2024 05:08:46 +0000Turquoise EtoileI'm struggling with the boundary between my mental illness and reality right now. Because I'm living in a world full of mental illness too. I talk about my current issues, past and present diagnoses, more experience as a peer with mental illness.677falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/update-announcement--60684894https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60684894Sat, 13 Jul 2024 21:00:21 +0000Turquoise EtoileYou are perfectly welcome to go on my old podcast (s). It looks like I will be on here from now on because one of the podcast platforms is not user friendly and the other one is limiting me to only one episode a month for free. Peace everyone.172falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/how-to-not-feel-victimy--60683508https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60683508Sat, 13 Jul 2024 16:12:28 +0000Turquoise EtoileI share my own experience with the situation where I have to bow to the absurd. Please refer to other episodes about how I am handling things at my IOP. I am being covertly mistreated there. But I need the program right now I'm not ready to leave..210iop,justice,mentalhealthcare,victimhoodfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/confidentiality-rules-caused-misunderstanding--60604454https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60604454Thu, 04 Jul 2024 21:19:21 +0000Turquoise EtoileThe result was the loss of a friendship. By the time I got the information necessary to understand someone, I had had to end the friendship.544falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/take-your-medicine-she-s-not-interested--60568444https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60568444Mon, 01 Jul 2024 17:02:06 +0000Turquoise EtoileI talk about the concept of hitting a "restore button" in our brains. I think about going back to February 10th when Olga, my limerent interest, asked if she could call me again after our initial phone date that day. Her not calling me the next day...750limerence,unrequittedlovefalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/limerence-recovery-one-last-text-really--60550128 I may have to run into her when I'm checking the group posts at IOP because the posting is in the patio where she sometimes still sits for her lunch.
But I am making a very big effort to do no contact from now on because of the way she acted last Thursday. That was the deal-breaker that was the last straw. That was the last reminder that I'm living in a fantasy. Time for me to face reality. She doesn't want me! Not even as a friend.
From now on I follow the heart advice for limerent sufferers: STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. *NOW* !]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60550128Sat, 29 Jun 2024 20:51:54 +0000Turquoise EtoileClosure is exactly what it is. It's closure. It's not wishful thinking. I sent Olga one last text and walked away. I may have to run into her when I'm checking the group posts at IOP because the posting is in the patio where she sometimes still sits... I may have to run into her when I'm checking the group posts at IOP because the posting is in the patio where she sometimes still sits for her lunch.
But I am making a very big effort to do no contact from now on because of the way she acted last Thursday. That was the deal-breaker that was the last straw. That was the last reminder that I'm living in a fantasy. Time for me to face reality. She doesn't want me! Not even as a friend.
From now on I follow the heart advice for limerent sufferers: STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. *NOW* !]]>805falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/love-how-many-times-must-i-learn-this-lesson--60535528https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60535528Fri, 28 Jun 2024 05:08:28 +0000Turquoise EtoileFalling over and over again with Olga. When this time I thought she reached out to me. So I reached back and fell again.798heartbreakfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/are-you-in-recovery-or-are-you-being-extreme--60419936https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60419936Tue, 18 Jun 2024 05:49:18 +0000Turquoise EtoileI practice five modules of mental wellness and I'm careful to avoid the shadow sides of each module. This episode is about how I explained that. Is our mental wellness process authentic or are we practicing the shadow modules: extremism,...587shadowworkfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/kindness-is-boring--60397279 I think we would crash and burn. I truly do.
In this episode I talk about how I was bullied in group therapy because someone saw me as boring and domineering.
I also talked about it being a form of covert abuse when vague language is used in The bullying tactic.
There's also mention of ending here I want you all to be safe and call 988 in the United States or talk to a trusted individual and get help if you are feeling that way. The kind of stuff that I discuss here is sensitive.
We all deserve to be treated kindly and we all deserve to learn kindness.
Many people still see kindness the same way they see climate change and lgbtq issues---the subject to be avoided.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60397279Sat, 15 Jun 2024 21:40:45 +0000Turquoise EtoileKindness will save our world and us. Can you imagine what the world would really be like if it were always interesting? I think we would crash and burn. I truly do. In this episode I talk about how I was bullied in group therapy because someone saw... I think we would crash and burn. I truly do.
In this episode I talk about how I was bullied in group therapy because someone saw me as boring and domineering.
I also talked about it being a form of covert abuse when vague language is used in The bullying tactic.
There's also mention of ending here I want you all to be safe and call 988 in the United States or talk to a trusted individual and get help if you are feeling that way. The kind of stuff that I discuss here is sensitive.
We all deserve to be treated kindly and we all deserve to learn kindness.
Many people still see kindness the same way they see climate change and lgbtq issues---the subject to be avoided.]]>859bullying,god,kindness,therapy,weaknessfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/ghosted-distanced-wish-they-would-share--60351569 Here's the link to my other podcast if you want to know anything else about what's going on between Olga and me:
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60351569Tue, 11 Jun 2024 16:29:29 +0000Turquoise EtoileIf someone is being lukewarm to you or cold or cool to you while you're being hot or warm to them, learn to give them the same treatment they're giving you. Stop having fantasies about it working out. It's very likely they don't want to deal with you.... Here's the link to my other podcast if you want to know anything else about what's going on between Olga and me:
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>683falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/i-can-t-believe-i-thought-he-actually-cared--60293545 Radio silence the next day.
And no call from Olga either, the woman that I had attempted to befriend.
Chapter closed.
The end.
Crying.
Disgusted.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60293545Thu, 06 Jun 2024 00:12:02 +0000Turquoise EtoileLast night I found a voicemail from my counselor asking me "if I was okay" and "do you need any support..." etc. Hoping remotely that I could reach someone human there, at last, I left him a message stating that I was suspicious of being dogged out by... Radio silence the next day.
And no call from Olga either, the woman that I had attempted to befriend.
Chapter closed.
The end.
Crying.
Disgusted.]]>407falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/being-a-loner-and-disconnected-again--60280401https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60280401Wed, 05 Jun 2024 01:31:26 +0000Turquoise EtoileI share my experience with not being able to connect with a woman I met at IOP that I was hoping could still be friends with me and letting her go. I also share a little bit about isolation and how important it is to fix our "picker" , as we go out...716loneliness,mentalhealth,socializationfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/icue-mesh-treat-psychiatric-patients-with-respect--60244224https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60244224Sat, 01 Jun 2024 04:38:54 +0000Turquoise EtoileLeaving IOP because my phone got blocked, they got angry with me for reporting and checking on repairs with a stall door lock in the bathroom, they forgotten to pick me up on my admission day back in October and they got angry with me for...700abuse,communication,psychiatrictruefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/whatever-is-necessary-icue-mesh--60223935https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60223935Thu, 30 May 2024 18:27:34 +0000Turquoise EtoileTo put my ideas out there. There is a need for mental health for all and I can do it!307falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/latest-episodes-and-information-announcement--60222671 Here you go.
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/60222671Thu, 30 May 2024 16:18:50 +0000Turquoise EtoileSince Spotify for podcasters is integrating into Riverside and giving me very very confusing information on how to navigate, I will be on here on speaker, on YouTube, and still on Spotify and not on that podcast as much. Unless and until I can... Here you go.
https://open.spotify.com/show/...]]>236falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/kent-state-shooting-what-gerald-casale-said--59826533https://api.spreaker.com/episode/59826533Sat, 04 May 2024 21:12:25 +0000Turquoise EtoileFrom an interview.122falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/kent-state-university-shooting-anniversary-2024--59826523 I found out several years ago.
It wasn't what I expected.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/59826523Sat, 04 May 2024 21:11:33 +0000Turquoise EtoileMany people do not know how the band Devo got founded. I found out several years ago. It wasn't what I expected. I found out several years ago.
It wasn't what I expected.]]>817falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/my-faith-was-tested--59599642 Everybody has a father.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/59599642Mon, 22 Apr 2024 23:15:42 +0000Turquoise EtoileI got called out for disclosing misinformation about the birth of Jesus. But there's no evidence to prove it either. There's no evidence to prove it either way. Although I have trouble believing in theology meaning that a holy spirit impregnated Mary,... Everybody has a father.]]>472falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/how-i-believe-in-god--59115061https://api.spreaker.com/episode/59115061Wed, 20 Mar 2024 16:34:01 +0000Turquoise EtoileI may not believe the way many expect that one might but I do believe. I believe because I have chosen to believe. I believe because I have chosen to believe the way I need to believe in God.455godfalsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/when-you-sin-you-are-not-just-sinning-you-re-dying--59049805https://api.spreaker.com/episode/59049805Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:15:56 +0000Turquoise EtoileI share my experience strength and hope with spiritual death and spiritual illness being connected with physical illness or exhaustion.200falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/super-positive-version-six-commandments-icue--58291943 I have realized that the brain will hear precisely what it hears, including the words that it hears after a negative word.
It is more effective to program the brain with pure positives for this very reason.
So here is the super positive version:

1. Thou shall regard others with gratitude.

2. Thou shall walk, stand, sit and/or, lay with others in integrity.

3. Intimate relations shall be for two purposes:

*Producing offspring.

AND/OR:

*Establishing a bond with your betrothed or committed partner/partners.

4. Contain to retain and maintain intimacy with yourself and/or with your committed partner/partners. Contain feelings and thoughts of anyone outside your arrangement (solo, partner or partners with or without offspring).


5. maintain a modest attitude towards self.

6. Practice abundance mindset , compersion, and attitude of gratitude at all times.]]>https://api.spreaker.com/episode/58291943Sat, 13 Jan 2024 19:56:15 +0000Turquoise EtoileThis is the *purely positive* version of my six Commandments that I wrote for my church within, the ideal Church Of Universal Ethics. I have realized that the brain will hear precisely what it hears, including the words that it hears after a negative... I have realized that the brain will hear precisely what it hears, including the words that it hears after a negative word.
It is more effective to program the brain with pure positives for this very reason.
So here is the super positive version:

1. Thou shall regard others with gratitude.

2. Thou shall walk, stand, sit and/or, lay with others in integrity.

3. Intimate relations shall be for two purposes:

*Producing offspring.

AND/OR:

*Establishing a bond with your betrothed or committed partner/partners.

4. Contain to retain and maintain intimacy with yourself and/or with your committed partner/partners. Contain feelings and thoughts of anyone outside your arrangement (solo, partner or partners with or without offspring).


5. maintain a modest attitude towards self.

6. Practice abundance mindset , compersion, and attitude of gratitude at all times.]]>195falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/friendship-jealousy-romance-and-ethics--57998854https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57998854Wed, 13 Dec 2023 17:59:09 +0000Turquoise EtoileI talk about behavior that I'm suspecting but have trouble validating because it is under the radar. I describe a very awkward situation with a couple of people that I met in the intensive outpatient program.673falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/what-is-self-esteem--57930725https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57930725Wed, 06 Dec 2023 16:58:50 +0000Turquoise EtoileTrue self esteem is not self adoration. True self-esteem is self-respect and loving ourselves the way God does.290falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/getting-on-my-knees--57708353https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57708353Sun, 19 Nov 2023 08:45:07 +0000Turquoise EtoileI surrender all Mammon desire right now in your name Jesus.485falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/how-i-accepted-the-lord--57402041https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57402041Thu, 26 Oct 2023 22:39:04 +0000Turquoise EtoileBy religion and by science.459falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/coping-with-transference-romantic-feelings-therapy--57387992https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57387992Thu, 26 Oct 2023 03:24:07 +0000Turquoise EtoileI talk about my attitude behavior and feelings when dealing with transference towards staff and patients, after reentering intensive outpatient.647falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/struggle-with-a-dangerous-mindset--57130915https://api.spreaker.com/episode/57130915Sat, 07 Oct 2023 00:43:42 +0000Turquoise EtoileIt's hard to advocate yourself let alone ask for help when you think you don't even have a case about mental illness being a disability.635falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/icue-my-church-within--53636639https://api.spreaker.com/episode/53636639Tue, 25 Apr 2023 00:20:27 +0000Turquoise EtoileIdeals Church (Code) of Universal Ethics. This is an idea not a church. It is my own spiritual belief system which I use in conjunction with my mental wellness process. This is the way I believe this is my opinion.408christianity,church,ethics,ideals,life,purposefalsefull