https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/grownups-are-lucky--4144233enArtsCopyright Jason Porterhttps://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/987cf104ec5dbfb7369c9a5eb8dc07a0.jpghttps://www.spreaker.com/podcast/grownups-are-lucky--4144233Tue, 01 Sep 2026 21:18:09 +0000Jason PorterJason Porterfeeds@spreaker.comJason Porter, author of the novel Why Are You So Sad?, brings you a new story every week, each about two minutes in length, because who has time for anything longer than that?true2d66d093-d55c-5423-9f1b-b52fbe4c0854episodichttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/praise--74794437507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6a973c1a8bcbcd14b9ed3f52Tue, 01 Sep 2026 21:07:46 +0000Jason PorterNothing lasts forever, except for this podcast’s appreciation of all you do to waste your time listening to this podcast.375false83fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/update--72651085507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6a3a88d3ffb38318c387fb32Tue, 23 Jun 2026 13:29:59 +0000Jason PorterThere are so many advanced products for all of our advanced states of being it is difficult to be sure if we are being the being we ought, might, want to afford to be being.439true82fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/auction--70577335507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:69b071063879085c73321da6Tue, 10 Mar 2026 19:42:14 +0000Jason PorterOh, like we are supposed to know what anything is about anymore, as if we can just write in here some brief explanation when all the $#!t has gone full on bonkers. Why don’t you tell us what this is about for once. Jesus. Make an effort.334false81fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/assist--68606950507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:691b6b6048f78c7ea3f89e35Mon, 17 Nov 2025 18:40:42 +0000Jason PorterOur brains are our best feature and we are using them to build something to take their place so that we can drool in a corner, or maybe it will all be fine.449false75fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/thrum--67640010507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:68ba3c81d84da1409103d244Fri, 05 Sep 2025 01:32:53 +0000Jason PorterWe are back with something that feels like it was bent and then stretched and then imprisoned and then released and then mistranslated and then turned into a glass trinket at the shopping mall. Yours to enjoy. Free of charge.543false74fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/escape--65635464507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6803cce6b1859a578dc06c09Sat, 19 Apr 2025 16:22:26 +0000Jason PorterTime is somewhere and wherever it is it is seemingly endless, like our time with the current former current president, endlessly predictable in its suffocating sense of endlessness.396false73fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/breakfast--64706270507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:67c7d7064348db3e0918bf37Wed, 05 Mar 2025 04:53:35 +0000Jason PorterEpisode two is totally off the rails. But in our defense there is a nationwide rails shortage. Bonus: This episode includes a free song that will tickle your terror bones.645false72fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/fuck--64256540507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:67a66320b067ca11695154f3Fri, 07 Feb 2025 19:53:12 +0000Jason PorterA new season and an old nemesis. Catch back up with all your favorite characters and learn clever ways to enhance your love life.457false71fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/touch--62677444507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:672fc80ba7322b381cb5c75fSat, 09 Nov 2024 20:44:46 +0000Jason PorterDid you ever notice how nobody seemed to notice that nobody was noticing because we were all too busy not noticing?516false67fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/monkey--62504099507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:671bb9b2cac8510317dae194Fri, 25 Oct 2024 15:36:10 +0000Jason PorterTake a step into the past, where you were just another hairy kid longing for speech.450false66fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/love--62343601507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:670a999771b3c1136b1ad4bbSat, 12 Oct 2024 15:50:50 +0000Jason PorterWe are all alone together.383false65fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/assassinate--62058215507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:66ef1d1dc459ff4d07b5b15bSat, 21 Sep 2024 19:27:21 +0000Jason PorterWe were gone for a while, but so were you. This much anticipated installment is a story posing as a rant posing as a story. Also, a new sponsor!430false64fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/collide--59536010507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6621890b6dba5a5494167deaThu, 18 Apr 2024 21:01:33 +0000Jason PorterA lot of things happen on an airplane despite nothing actually happening on an airplane.314false63fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/stumble--59021861507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:65f0a79b77613129f91596e1Tue, 12 Mar 2024 19:09:38 +0000Jason PorterTime is like an uncomfortable canoe.363false62fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/childproof--58800665507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:65d8ed461d919f48083d465fFri, 23 Feb 2024 19:12:59 +0000Jason PorterThe future is whenever.282false61fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/consent--58099472507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6584df36306a57677fdd1510Fri, 22 Dec 2023 19:00:00 +0000Jason PorterIt’s that time of year. Take care of yourself. Remember that spiritual fulfillment is in none of the places major advertisers are telling you to look. There is nothing under the tree that is going to fill your many voids. But, you do look great in...406false513fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/pretend--58053346507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6580eb5dd18dbc090cf41cbcTue, 19 Dec 2023 01:06:13 +0000Jason PorterWe only have so much time and yet we mostly waste it. This podcast is also a waste of time, but under five minutes, so maybe listen while on the toilet.288false512fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/isolate--57594165507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:654e972bc8f3362540bfa60aFri, 10 Nov 2023 20:51:52 +0000Jason PorterAn exciting episode that may or may not be an allegory about the creative process.288false511fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/list--57459102507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6541263edd41f006f83225a7Tue, 31 Oct 2023 16:17:42 +0000Jason PorterWhile we do things we start to think about other things forgetting sometimes that all the time we are absolutely nothing.264false510fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/party--55311004507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:649b88f803c5c44aba9e7bb7Wed, 28 Jun 2023 01:16:37 +0000Jason PorterAre we robots? Are robots us? Are we us?344false59fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/post--54454968507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:648bd9a0daaf9258f85ddd1eFri, 16 Jun 2023 03:45:18 +0000Jason PorterLove is mostly feeling fine about mostly not feeling love in the way you mostly thought you might.324true58fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/compute--53823373507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:645d04f9f80d9828a88ca861Thu, 11 May 2023 15:15:55 +0000Jason PorterThere will exist a moment when we will look to something that doesn’t exist to help us figure out if and how to exist.368false57fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/congregate--53464455507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:642f00b81832e72865044997Thu, 06 Apr 2023 17:30:45 +0000Jason PorterLet’s take it to the creator and ask for our money back, while also not holding our breath, because, let’s be honest, return policies these days are designed to overwhelm you until you give up. But don’t give up. You’re special. Probably.330true56fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/befriend-again--53213836507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6411f6d22c80306fd510c43cWed, 15 Mar 2023 16:55:37 +0000Jason PorterToday’s episode is a rebroadcast of a real emotional belch you’re just going to have to deal with. You don’t get to have ups without downs. Sir Isaac Newton probably said that in more high falutin terms. Other people probably said it too. Seems pretty...350true55fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/wink--53075694507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6400f78ab9bb5015f1bd3df3Thu, 02 Mar 2023 19:27:09 +0000Jason PorterThere is no point in waiting for everything to be good. Get on the dance floor. Shake it up. Barf a little in your mouth. Life is short.220false54fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/laugh--52946981507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:63ed39b120181807e6f0c140Wed, 15 Feb 2023 20:04:35 +0000Jason PorterThis week’s episode features sleight of hand, and a special new segment on facial expressions.459true53fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/resemble--52947196507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:63e287c8f8539066f467e762Tue, 07 Feb 2023 17:23:25 +0000Jason PorterDo you ever look in the mirror and think, I feel like I’ve seen that face before?261true52fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/heist--52946881507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:63d947b69a1a9f61dfa48134Tue, 31 Jan 2023 17:01:07 +0000Jason PorterWhat is love? What is a story? Why are we here? What comes tomorrow? This latest episode answers none of these questions!315false51fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/repair--52946877507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:620c0b9800d61716e1f25d6dTue, 15 Feb 2022 20:26:04 +0000Jason PorterYou are what you bring to the table, and you are alone at that table, even if there are other people at that table. They can’t help you, except for maybe being able to pass the salt.247false42fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/bill--52946413507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:61e09fbea748c77d978c9d1eThu, 13 Jan 2022 22:01:10 +0000Jason PorterIt’s a brand new season of Grownups Are Lucky, which means absolutely nothing, because we just took the stack of story recipes, shuffled them, and then changed the shit up like we were playing drunken Madlibs. And maybe we were. Who are you to judge?...302true51fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/write--52946430507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:61c37c8bdce48356fab0678eWed, 22 Dec 2021 19:33:32 +0000Jason PorterAs should come as no surprise, this year’s season finale doesn’t mistletoe the line, when it comes to holiday cheer.270true415fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/live--52946607507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:61a932b8e4268f042ef32bcaThu, 02 Dec 2021 20:59:52 +0000Jason PorterThis episode is so stupid you’ll feel great about yourself for not being as stupid as this episode.279false414fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/commemorate--52947192507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:619d2c6e1363172c2f55508fTue, 23 Nov 2021 18:09:16 +0000Jason PorterDeath happens. Life happens. Smells happen. Pets happen. Grownups Are Lucky is back after going away just after falsely claiming it was back. Trust nobody, but also, enjoy!285true413fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/unfold--52946782507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:61413b21ffcac371564102f2Wed, 15 Sep 2021 00:19:11 +0000Jason PorterHoly schitz, we’re back. Just when you were ready to give up on podcasts that were short enough to listen to while folding no more than ten pair of underwear. We’re back, you glorious listener! So enjoy! Because nothing lasts forever.309true412fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/watch--46325481507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:60a53a713d361178665e23caWed, 19 May 2021 16:21:52 +0000Jason PorterCompanionship can be found. It can be lost. It can be simulated on television.292falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/nod--46325479507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6098979889e2261faa057098Mon, 10 May 2021 02:21:41 +0000Jason PorterTrigger warning!: This is about that time you were at that place and you were pretty sure everybody wondered if you were actually invited to be in that place and the whole time you felt like everybody hated you and you still can’t confirm that they...213truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/loosen--46325483507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:606b2c5261cf2d58e40613e2Mon, 05 Apr 2021 15:30:31 +0000Jason PorterIt’s all a sad loop. It’s always been like this. Enjoy!355falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/remove--46325485507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:604bd1b316141f429ad74650Sat, 13 Mar 2021 01:44:40 +0000Jason PorterYou’d be surprised who people think you look like in another part of the world where people don’t look like you.276truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/jumble--46325484507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6042e1c2b391303a2d122038Sat, 06 Mar 2021 02:02:40 +0000Jason PorterThe weather waits for no grandma.285falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/dislike--43747766507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:603979ebaf369e50b78916ffFri, 26 Feb 2021 22:48:51 +0000Jason PorterThis week’s episode includes a bad German accent, unsolicited life advice, and a puzzle!314falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/patch--43519377507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:602dcf5d72c99d7e755c33eeThu, 18 Feb 2021 02:35:01 +0000Jason PorterThis week’s story can’t be bothered. If you want this thing in your living room you’re going to have to do the heavy lifting yourself.202truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/trim--43088924507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:6005f7b648a95970869c2758Mon, 18 Jan 2021 21:08:07 +0000Jason PorterWhen you find yourself asking yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” the answer is probably lots of terrible things.333falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/fart--42855284507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5fe60f4d3bc78037469c68f9Fri, 25 Dec 2020 16:17:07 +0000Jason PorterAll the elves are on furlough, so this is the best we could come up with, and let’s be honest, it’s a disappointment, but you’re used to that by now.441truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/explore--42654720507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5fd529ec13a48350e8f4f106Sat, 12 Dec 2020 20:40:04 +0000Jason PorterThere is a lot of space in space.335truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/obey--42411618507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5fc810fa50c7b33622ead966Wed, 02 Dec 2020 22:16:09 +0000Jason PorterHere is a story about a depressing sounding place where a kid is asking questions and his stuffed friends are doing their best to give some sound advice.299falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/pump--42155422507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5fb41442fe6a594d9219705fTue, 17 Nov 2020 18:23:50 +0000Jason PorterA shallow dive into a divided America.270falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/respect--41905147507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5faac2f6db59ea584e3923fbTue, 10 Nov 2020 16:48:54 +0000Jason PorterOh no he didn’t. Oh yes he did.293falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/talk--41628468507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f8de2ca0c18e7474d4a3fdaMon, 19 Oct 2020 19:07:52 +0000Jason PorterThis one guy walks into a bar.246truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/paddle--41393840507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f7f7e16345c0f4c7264e110Thu, 08 Oct 2020 21:10:18 +0000Jason PorterThis is a story about how the author is afraid we’ll all soon be dumb and afraid and nobody will remember how to make electricity.226truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/frown--41114005507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f68f4d4d0195c5bdbff9d30Mon, 21 Sep 2020 18:54:27 +0000Jason PorterDumb stuff blurs along in shapes and sounds you reassemble in your imagination because it’s a gift your brain gave you, and because you’re bored, and secretly anxious and fed up and scared and tired and nearly deceased. Enjoy!292truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/fool--40811241507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f552a158063d02159f2259aSun, 06 Sep 2020 18:31:38 +0000Jason PorterIt’s so hard to buy things and feel like a winner when buying things makes you feel like a loser.272truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/survive--40503472507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f46a713605072455ca8fe65Wed, 26 Aug 2020 18:21:24 +0000Jason PorterThe new normal is still the old normal which under normal circumstances will probably end in our extinction. But think of the clearance sales!229falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/chill--40365555507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f32f152de51411c9337a303Tue, 11 Aug 2020 19:32:05 +0000Jason PorterAre we still doing this? What is this? When is tomorrow? Who ordered this pizza?246truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/deprive--40107223507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f244fbdce1bcd0f234d05f7Fri, 31 Jul 2020 17:10:23 +0000Jason PorterWe used to think we couldn’t wait to have a little time alone.237truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/tango--39828433507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5f0b3f247adc097c995b0006Sun, 12 Jul 2020 16:54:24 +0000Jason PorterAn unusual engagement announcement springboards off of speculation on butterfly coitus.242truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/let--35614609507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5efd3f6bdf11fa7c29cd5682Thu, 02 Jul 2020 02:07:10 +0000Jason PorterPeople used to go to large auditoriums and crowd near each other, screaming out mists of germs while rubbing elbows and swaying against other bodies while handsome musicians sang about banal lusts.345truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/dunk--35614614507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ef0f1bf1f1bd30702d86ec9Mon, 22 Jun 2020 18:10:49 +0000Jason PorterIf you are giving a gift it is a good idea to brand it with an identifying mark in case somebody tries to steal it and later on you run into the thief in another time zone.239falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/grow--31623346507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ee02230279f306299ae4e46Wed, 10 Jun 2020 00:03:20 +0000Jason PorterMother nature doesn’t think much of you.291falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/trust--28989054507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ed56bccbd9be315e06ddaffMon, 01 Jun 2020 21:03:38 +0000Jason PorterThese days lifting oneself up by the bootstraps means performing your own medical procedures on yourself with money you had to borrow from Aunt Helen.321falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/perch--27741863507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5eb982d795662464af21a718Mon, 11 May 2020 16:57:45 +0000Jason PorterIf fans could talk, they’d be all, “What’s with all the shit?”318truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/shine--27741862507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5eb1ffc2b95dd85bdb18ce36Wed, 06 May 2020 00:13:37 +0000Jason PorterWe are all barely here for barely any longer, but that still might be a long time, like however long the dinosaurs were here, and maybe still are.344falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/flirt--26677768507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ea8660a26406e5b0d4378acTue, 28 Apr 2020 17:27:16 +0000Jason PorterWhy do we assume that aliens will find us attractive? I don’t even find us attractive.336truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/stock--26677767507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ea09eee387aca21b9939487Wed, 22 Apr 2020 19:51:05 +0000Jason PorterWe can’t promise it won’t sting a little to ponder olden times when you could casually browse the bulk section of a supermarket and maybe even flirt with another human without wearing rubber gloves or having to say, “where’d you get that mask?”387falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/lick--25735097507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e8bba13eed9147696a1bccbMon, 06 Apr 2020 23:27:14 +0000Jason PorterTrigger warning: this story gets up in your personal space.263falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/buy--24805078507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e825d6b5293af2e261eb4beMon, 30 Mar 2020 20:58:39 +0000Jason PorterIt’s so much pressure figuring out how to spend our winnings. Good thing we’re all going to die.489falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/mound--24805081507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e79545ba88f667bd8916a26Tue, 24 Mar 2020 00:34:51 +0000Jason PorterThere were lots of stories in our reserve tanks, but our reserve story tanks didn’t anticipate this exact hellscape, so now everything seems ill-fitting and or tone deaf. But then again , what doesn’t? This crappy endeavor is still free, so we stopped...288truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/feel--24085775507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e6d9090e095af7f34dd6de8Mon, 16 Mar 2020 12:34:05 +0000Jason PorterWhat would it feel like to feel like feeling like God?288truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/mutate--24085777507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e67a12ff1442d1a13c86d3fTue, 10 Mar 2020 14:21:57 +0000Jason PorterAn epic fight between human and arachnid with potentially grave consequences for past and future sexual partners, all rendered in exactly 250 words.195falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/smile--23495123507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e55844fdf34243c4af468efMon, 02 Mar 2020 16:09:11 +0000Jason PorterMaggie Lungston is talking to her sushi again.329falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/smell--23495124507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e5481dc69e628321dee29faTue, 25 Feb 2020 02:14:18 +0000Jason PorterIsn’t it crazy that given the small amount of time we have to live we choose to spend any of it watching game shows?256truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/draft--22943989507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e4a25243be8c0066d04499eMon, 17 Feb 2020 05:38:52 +0000Jason PorterWe are driving toward, or at least near, a cliff, and if you were to ask this driver, some of the trucks don’t look so safe.213falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/chain--22395814507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e2e5105e4eb585089ea6a82Mon, 27 Jan 2020 13:15:01 +0000Jason PorterWithin some brains, ideas drift like snow. Then those brains command hands shared by the same body to type these ideas into stories. And then you are stuck listening to this strange precipitation.265truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/engorge--21880769507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5e25020df068c869fe5877ecMon, 20 Jan 2020 13:18:01 +0000Jason PorterWe’ve all been there. Finding something difficult to resist which you know you will soon find repellent and nonetheless still not resisting. Like your reflection in a mirror.243falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/shop--21367336507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5dfd04ca12c2ad2d95ae9290Mon, 23 Dec 2019 05:33:21 +0000Jason PorterThis is the last episode of 2019. Cherish it. It will warm your dead heart!282falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/limp--20942381507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5df14e6aa05f08146cc8f7a9Mon, 16 Dec 2019 05:50:30 +0000Jason PorterEverybody dies and then we forget it because we are busy dying ourselves.259falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/spend--20942377507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ded709eaf06d83e3e562bb3Mon, 09 Dec 2019 05:07:09 +0000Jason PorterThere was a time when there was much more time because things were less advanced.253falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/remember-remembered--20523713507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5de46d801b24f4303d4e1c4dMon, 02 Dec 2019 12:55:47 +0000Jason PorterThings are changing so fast we’ll be lucky if we’re even around to remember them incorrectly. (This story is featured in the November 2019 issue of the Los Angeles Review of Books. Buy a copy in time for the holidays!)208falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/interview--20523714507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5dd2fa5444d8894269b8dc41Mon, 25 Nov 2019 04:11:03 +0000Jason PorterIt’s lonely at the top. But, then again, tough shit.302truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/stop--20168811507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5cd06660eb3931052c321efcMon, 06 May 2019 16:58:45 +0000Jason PorterEvery filthy boring neglected rest area has a rich history which is largely unknown to its daily urinaters.177truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/chew--20168810507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5cc66fc5f5a50f0001100cbcMon, 29 Apr 2019 03:39:48 +0000Jason PorterBeing married to a man is probably nobody’s idea of a vacation.214falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/counsel--20168812507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5cbdabc87817f7f0c2fece07Mon, 22 Apr 2019 12:01:42 +0000Jason PorterHigh school was a place where bad people grew into new people who were sometimes also still bad people.380falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/recount--20168816507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c7d695b9140b7a8c50fcb71Mon, 04 Mar 2019 18:12:09 +0000Jason PorterIt’s hard to get a fair trial these days with all the clowns and quarterbacks vying for selfies.199falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/jump--20168820507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c4520657ba7fc4a9aee105fMon, 21 Jan 2019 13:09:45 +0000Jason PorterA lakeside luncheon with unexpected guests, or a frolic in a mountain lake with a peeping observer who smells like tuna salad and human sweat.245falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/retire--20168818507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c3c12ec4d7a9c27818867cdMon, 14 Jan 2019 05:06:11 +0000Jason PorterIf only ants could laugh, then they would be having the last laugh, but they’re too busy to laugh, especially since they can’t.262falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/think--20168823507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c33882870a6ad84f659b48dMon, 07 Jan 2019 17:19:04 +0000Jason PorterSome guys are just those guys who aren’t going to get it, and then they probably won’t get it all over again, until they finally marry their mother.266falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/tire--20168835507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c205e5b40ec9abd16bee60aMon, 24 Dec 2018 04:35:53 +0000Jason PorterChristmas is a holiday in December that happens to people.238falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/want--20168813507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5c0e932f70a6adee68e0eb54Mon, 10 Dec 2018 16:33:48 +0000Jason PorterIn this episode we learn the Spanish word for car. We also witness an intensely muted heart beating openly and alone.235truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/absorb--20168857507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5bfc1f44cd8366a6d915b055Mon, 26 Nov 2018 16:36:02 +0000Jason PorterThere is an end. It’s always made it easier to pretend there isn’t. But now is when we need to start stopping.262truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/police--20168829507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5be658c5b8a045a56cedcbd9Mon, 12 Nov 2018 05:36:03 +0000Jason PorterSome things are legal, until they aren't.231falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/destroy--20168839507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5bd37f0cc83025cbefa0798bTue, 06 Nov 2018 02:40:46 +0000Jason PorterThere is legend of a human who once enjoyed puberty. This is not that legend.228truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/diet--20168889507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5bcde30cc830250ce98f7edeMon, 29 Oct 2018 04:30:54 +0000Jason PorterIn this country, we are drowning in false choices, and sclerotic deliciousness. This week’s story mines our demise for several minutes of uproarious hijinks.228falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/bend--20168834507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5bcde041e5e5f0b9fb102ac8Mon, 22 Oct 2018 14:47:07 +0000Jason PorterNone of our stories are the same, except for the ending.221falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/drift--20168807507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5ba8fec4e4966bffb0b0ae2bMon, 08 Oct 2018 03:20:07 +0000Jason PorterDo all parking lots connect eventually?234falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/judge--20168805507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5bb198d524a6948a757f809cMon, 01 Oct 2018 04:04:35 +0000Jason PorterA lot of stuff happens, and it’s all bad.223truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/wave--20168827507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b96869f758d46c1237e04edWed, 19 Sep 2018 01:03:15 +0000Jason PorterOur lives are only moments shuffled inside our heads while we die.272falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/doctor--20168809507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b69fd51f950b728f03ff976Mon, 03 Sep 2018 15:06:20 +0000Jason PorterSometimes it is difficult to avoid creative differences when making art with your preferred medical professional.175falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/mother--20168897507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b69f9c7562fa77529acc917Mon, 27 Aug 2018 13:45:05 +0000Jason PorterSome children are brats and their parents are brats too. Brat was also the name of a short lived automobile, but that is a fact entirely unrelated to this story.199falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/disembark--20168815507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b06040e8a922d1402b6c33cMon, 13 Aug 2018 12:45:09 +0000Jason PorterIs anything really true anymore? Can extraterrestrials save us? Is dad really dad?192falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/look--20168817507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b296ee770a6adf49fbd38b1Mon, 09 Jul 2018 12:03:10 +0000Jason PorterThe airport waiting area is a an ecosystem where manufactured breezes ruffle our comatose feathers.215falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/befriend--20168904507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b296e528a922d547b95d464Mon, 25 Jun 2018 14:00:01 +0000Jason PorterBest friends are the best. It's not up for debate.188falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/fold--20168899507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b2725346d2a73b36be2f4d6Mon, 18 Jun 2018 12:55:37 +0000Jason PorterLife is unfair because it doesn't smell as good as in the commercials. It’s also unfair because we throw mounds of food away while people go hungry. And also because our current president demands poor afflicted children be placed in cages. Have a...213falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/evolve--20168819507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b08731170a6ad2fc56356caMon, 04 Jun 2018 11:41:27 +0000Jason PorterSometimes we land that job, and maybe finally our problems are solved, but then we are hamstrung again by those damned allergies. (This story first appeared in issue 3.1 of The Maine Review. )223falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/congratulate--20168898507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5aedf8cd1ae6cf459ece484aMon, 28 May 2018 12:05:54 +0000Jason PorterWill the robots of the future successfully tickle the armpits of our dead ghosts? This episode is a real hoot. Your smart phones will love it.257falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/order--20168821507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5b02af01f950b7644af8efd1Mon, 21 May 2018 11:44:56 +0000Jason PorterIt's the moments between all the awful moments, when we get to complain about the awful moments, that aren't so awful.This episode was published in Electric Lit's Recommended Reading Commuter. Visit their site to read this story, and other great brief...231falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/misunderstand--20168828507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5af723800e2e725de5d4fcb5Mon, 14 May 2018 14:00:20 +0000Jason PorterThis week's work of fiction imagines the intimate life of one of this nation's foremost proponents of Orwellian euphemisms. Originally written in 2004, it has it all: bionics, cuddling, soap bubbles, and unfettered rage. (It should be noted that this...231truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/grab--20168825507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5adf4fb788251befdefc52e4Mon, 30 Apr 2018 11:31:13 +0000Jason PorterIn this week's episode, I think we can all agree it's getting cramped in here, and mother's handbag digging into our shoulder is not helping.244truefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/insist--20168830507849a5c4aaa91969f657cf:5acd1904562fa79982ea34db:5adcd5ac562fa77ceb0d6cdaMon, 23 Apr 2018 04:21:37 +0000Jason PorterIn this episode, a younger version of yourself may only be hoping for a Nutella sandwich, but that doesn't mean you won't be going to prison.227truefull