https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-place-we-find-ourselves--2920391enMental HealthCopyright Adam Younghttps://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/094f1d36f5691b21e0ff1c17ba825651.jpghttps://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-place-we-find-ourselves--2920391Sun, 04 Oct 2026 14:19:33 +0000Adam YoungAdam Youngfeeds@spreaker.comThe Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, and therapy. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and...true2e80a1df-baa3-52ef-aed1-f58923954accepisodichttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/174-how-to-engage-sexual-harm-in-a-way-that-brings-healing-with-dan-allender--7556603857e12e8b-6838-436c-868a-a7eb2aa2532fSun, 04 Oct 2026 14:10:00 +0000Adam YoungDan Allender returns to the podcast for an honest, tender conversation about sexual abuse — what it is, how it wounds the body and brain, and why naming it is so hard. He and Adam talk through the tangle of betrayal, shame, and even arousal that...2416true10174fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/173-i-am-badass-loss-a-woman-s-cycle-and-hope--6680378613529447-c8d6-4094-9f17-05e79c6da834Mon, 02 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungStephanie Duncan Smith joins me today to talk about her book, “Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway.” Topics covered include: Stephanie’s pregnancy losses, how she learned to think differently about her...2581false9173fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/172-spiritual-and-religious-trauma-with-dr-hillary-mcbride--66106748here.]]>47c3718d-ba4d-4b0c-b7ca-115fb7704fdfThu, 15 May 2025 19:08:05 +0000Adam YoungDr. Hillary McBride talks about her new book titled, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Topics covered include: our deep human need to belong, the inherent goodness of your heart (despite what you may have been...here.]]>2376false9172fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/171-your-sexuality-and-your-story-linking-past-to-present--6544285659d374bc-5f52-4f01-a8dd-15e2509895e7Tue, 08 Apr 2025 14:07:02 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/struggles. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked...2006false9171fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/make-sense-of-your-story-dan-allender-interviews-adam--64751906b2f1c07c-1d4f-46a0-9908-74ef87367fc8Fri, 07 Mar 2025 16:31:41 +0000Adam YoungToday’s episode is different. Dan Allender takes over the podcast to interview me about my new book titled, Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything. Topics covered include: how to respond when we fail those we...2769false9170fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/169-how-to-experience-the-kind-presence-of-god-with-john-eldredge--6454432729cf1190-8390-40f3-b545-70a768c1ea00Mon, 27 Jan 2025 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungJohn Eldredge returns to the podcast to talk about his newest book titled, “Experience Jesus. Really.” Topics covered include: how to live as an ordinary mystic (someone who experiences the sweet presence of God on a regular basis), why you don’t need...2495false9169fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/168-longing-for-delight-and-honoring-anger--642830139fde0451-b58a-47eb-a15c-530340b91d4eMon, 13 Jan 2025 14:58:33 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by my friend Gail Stucker who is a trauma-informed story coach. Gail generously shares a story about herself as an 8th grader. Topics we cover: taking your story seriously when you don’t believe you have any “capital T” trauma,...2436false9168fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/167-storywork-what-it-is-and-why-it-matters-with-dan-allender-and-cathy-loerzel--635914706af74049-3871-40f0-8d98-e310f6bb864eMon, 06 Jan 2025 15:39:22 +0000Adam YoungYou have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by...1910false9167fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/166-why-your-marriage-feels-the-way-it-does--6391255125afe4c7-1b5d-4a00-bc50-6f1e5887da89Mon, 16 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call to talk about the complexities of marriage relationships. Dan and Steve recently co-authored a book titled, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.” If you are...2598false9166fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/165-a-concise-explanation-of-avoidant-and-ambivalent-attachment--6350694406a2dc75-8b5c-4818-a850-5a8d5bafcec7Mon, 02 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI dive into a detailed explanation of avoidant and ambivalent attachment. I explain why and how a child develops each of these insecure attachment styles. I then outline how you are supposed to know in adulthood if you have an avoidant or ambivalent...1801false9165fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/164-engaging-your-cultural-collective-story--633271470658a753-d548-43d0-aabf-389b55db1eecMon, 18 Nov 2024 15:28:48 +0000Adam YoungThe fundamental premise of story work is that your past story is affecting your present life. This is just as true for your collective story as it is for your individual story. Your present day to day life is deeply affected by the past story of the...1944false9164fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/163-implicit-memory-what-it-is-and-why-it-matters--630626024b8139ec-e570-45b7-8bec-cb7916a654a6Mon, 28 Oct 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungMemory is the way in which a past experience affects how the mind will function in the present. There are two layers of memory: explicit and implicit. There are two key attributes of implicit memory that are critical to understand. First, implicit...1518false9163fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/162-triangulation-what-it-is-and-why-it-matters--62678660f44e22d8-b1c5-4379-86b7-91b8e026cbf9Mon, 14 Oct 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungTriangulation occurs when a parent requires a child to function as an emotional adult by meeting the parent’s adult needs and wants. Were you required to give, give, give to your parent, or was your parent continually giving, giving, giving...2409false9162fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/161-exploring-your-sexual-story-with-curiosity-and-kindness--625136548019e1cf-5bb5-4495-ae93-a57425993531Mon, 30 Sep 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungSexuality is an emotionally charged topic. Period. But when you are talking about sexuality for people with a history of trauma, you are stepping into terrain where angels fear to tread. However, if God intends for you to experience overflowing sexual...2154false9161fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/160-the-weight-of-religious-and-spiritual-expectations-with-reid-zeller--61142388supporting it financially. ]]>2dcb1ab2-fd80-4c53-8471-c88c23769edeMon, 29 Jul 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by therapist and friend Reid Zeller who shares a story about egging cars when he was 16. Behind every story is a backstory. The backstory includes the nature of the environment we grew up in. When religious or spiritual expectations...supporting it financially. ]]>2432false8160fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/159-revisiting-the-big-six-what-you-needed-from-your-parents--60987105here.]]>021aae6e-ba44-41fd-9c58-0f21d19b23beMon, 15 Jul 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungWhen you were a child, you were deeply dependent on your primary caretakers. This means that the development of your brain was contingent upon the level of care and kindness in your family environment. Today I identify the six things you needed from...here.]]>2494false8159fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/158-the-critical-relationship-between-attachment-and-affect-regulation--60837788here.]]>404ace00-1dd5-47a8-9cec-d776b88af150Mon, 01 Jul 2024 20:58:33 +0000Adam YoungIf you have difficulty regulating your emotion, there is a reason for that! No one comes out of the womb with the ability to regulate their affect. The way you develop the neurobiological structures to regulate your own emotions is by having your...here.]]>1805false8158fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/157-what-if-my-story-isn-t-that-bad-why-we-all-tend-to-minimize-our-wounds--60683016here.]]>62e1cf25-731e-4a93-a1b0-14aa6641238aMon, 17 Jun 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis episode is for people who experience emotional pain but feel like “nothing that bad happened to me growing up. I had a pretty good childhood.” As it says in Jeremiah 6, it is very common to dress our wounds as though they are not serious. One way...here.]]>1764false8157fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/156-five-objections-to-engaging-your-story-a-response--60566826b1c9d07f-705e-40a0-9ceb-184766b5f729Mon, 03 Jun 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungWhen I began exploring my story, five objections kept coming up for me. These objections kept me stuck. In today’s episode, I respond to each of the five objections. Objection 1: I should focus on the present and the future, not "dwell on the past.”...2435false8156fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/155-why-engaging-your-story-heals-your-brain--60397161click here. ]]>f0644ccd-5398-49cc-95bc-3eb1a9f36245Mon, 20 May 2024 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungMy invitation to you today is simple: to take your story seriously. Engaging your story is the single most important thing you can do to experience healing. When I say "your story," I'm talking more about the individual scenes than the overarching...click here. ]]>2374false8155fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/154-what-grief-is-how-it-heals-and-the-pain-of-loneliness-with-j-s-park--599029183ab4f77e-9e76-4254-b516-df822acecf2fTue, 07 May 2024 16:30:00 +0000Adam YoungIn “As Long As You Need,” author J.S. Park writes that “Grief is not about letting go, but about letting in.” Letting in sorrow, letting in anger, and especially letting in other people who can be WITH us in our pain. This episode is about all kinds...2735false8154fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/how-your-past-story-affects-your-present-sexuality-with-jay-stringer--59233323sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 4th. We want to help you understand and transform some of the unique sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple. ]]>efcc5aac-ee87-44b8-bbcb-dfaf3f1798bbSat, 30 Mar 2024 19:29:49 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/pain. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to...sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 4th. We want to help you understand and transform some of the unique sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple. ]]>3028false8153fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/152-learning-to-live-inside-your-body-with-dr-hillary-mcbride--59233322553fd1d2-2ee1-4a9a-86ac-8d9634c196c0Wed, 21 Feb 2024 18:35:26 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Dr. Hillary McBride to discuss excerpts from her new book titled, “Practices for Embodied Living.” Topics covered include: how to feel your feelings, being alive in your body (eroticism), and the story of your relationship to your...2362false8152fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/151-what-to-do-with-desire-and-dread-with-mike-boland--58867983ed9b21a4-452d-4f62-954f-b8306a0fecd7Wed, 31 Jan 2024 01:56:29 +0000Adam YoungPastor and counselor Mike Boland shares a story from when he was 15 years old. It’s a story about the interplay of longing for connection and, at the same time, dreading what will be required of him in return. We talk about grooming, and the war of...2462false8151fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/150-trauma-heals-by-connecting-with-others--585757743dcebe7a-4b2b-462c-8078-66f1b8692e06Mon, 08 Jan 2024 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThe opposite of trauma is not "no trauma;" the opposite of trauma is connection. To be human is to be wounded. However, wounds heal naturally when the environment is right… and the right environment for healing is the empathic presence of another...2112false8150fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/149-why-listening-to-your-body-leads-to-healing-part-2--58398429Support the podcast.]]>3c188a37-439f-45b5-a96a-ceedab9dddb1Mon, 25 Dec 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungToday I focus on two important ways that your body tells you things. The first is through your affect. Whenever your affect becomes dysregulated, your body is letting you know valuable information about your present environment… and about your past...Support the podcast.]]>1864false8149fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/148-the-healing-power-of-understanding-your-story-with-dan-allender-and-cathy-loerzel--57970943c22f24a7-db46-477d-824b-3bc4d38d22b2Mon, 11 Dec 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungYou have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by...2379false8148fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/147-why-listening-to-your-body-leads-to-healing-part-1--58110003Support the show]]>1df92a6a-2748-4f34-9b4c-8c0d96b0e876Mon, 27 Nov 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungYour body knows things that your enskulled brain does not. Moreover, if you listen, your body will tell you important things—things that will help you heal. Your body is a truth teller. It is the trustworthy prophet from within. In today’s episode, I...Support the show]]>2012false8147fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/146-triangulation-and-misguided-hope-with-matthias-roberts--57965901Support the podcast]]>3b8d753d-732f-49d0-8224-9e9e3c525f39Mon, 13 Nov 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungFriend and fellow therapist Matthias Roberts joins me today to share a very vulnerable story involving triangulation with his mother. How does an adolescent boy answer his Mom’s questions about his homosexuality when Mom is disgusted by it? This is a...Support the podcast]]>2190false8146fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/145-how-loneliness-affects-the-heart-and-mind--57810384Support the show]]>134ed38f-366c-488c-9a69-a44044cbf87fMon, 30 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungTherapist and fellow podcaster Vanessa Sadler shares a story from when she was 11 years old. As children, all of us needed to belong—to feel “a part of.” If we did not receive sufficient attunement from our primary caregivers, we likely experienced...Support the show]]>2401false8145fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/144-embodied-sexuality-and-religious-sexual-trauma-with-jenny-mcgrath--57600906Embodied Sexuality course. You can use coupon code “PLACEWEFIND” to save $60 off the cost of the course.  Support the podcast]]>9a4a8ede-aa05-4c99-b262-652c8bbd38ebMon, 16 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by therapist Jenny McGrath who is passionate about helping people heal from the damage of purity culture. One byproduct of purity culture is a disconnection from your body and a distrust of your body. If you feel shame about your...Embodied Sexuality course. You can use coupon code “PLACEWEFIND” to save $60 off the cost of the course.  Support the podcast]]>2075false8144fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/143-finding-home-again-after-religious-trauma-with-matthias-roberts--57434331 Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned By Religion. Topics covered include: why belonging is so crucial for each of us, how to trust when you’ve been betrayed by others so many times before, and why it’s hard to open ourselves to actually receive care when it is available. ]]>53a9e1d5-203a-4162-9f6c-ac0e44645043Mon, 09 Oct 2023 18:09:14 +0000Adam YoungMatthias Roberts joins me today to talk about his book... Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned By Religion. Topics covered include: why belonging is so crucial for each of us, how to trust when you’ve been betrayed by others so many times before, and why it’s hard to open ourselves to actually receive care when it is available. ]]>2274false8143fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/142-healing-from-trauma-the-power-of-being-with-part-2--57242252085880b5-d859-4652-8e06-6947eb5e7d61Mon, 18 Sep 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungWe pick up with Curt sharing about Cora’s experience in a story group. Specifically, we talk about about why Cora’s intense bouts of panic were her body’s way of saying “something is wrong and needs care and attention.” We also talk about a woman...1431false8142fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/141-healing-from-trauma-the-power-of-being-with-part-1--570079917b3cb345-37b4-4903-81a7-eea31f46d7b6Mon, 04 Sep 2023 01:06:51 +0000Adam YoungCurt Thompson returns to the podcast to talk about how we heal from trauma. In short, trauma and emotional pain begin to heal when our stories are witnessed by an empathetic other. Curt shares a story from his newest book about a woman named Cora, who...2010false8141fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/140-trauma-resilience-and-race-with-jimmy-mcgee-and-rebecca-wheeler-walston--56180623here.]]>7dd68665-6e32-4495-b9b6-f440e9b676c1Fri, 21 Jul 2023 20:57:11 +0000Adam YoungJimmy McGee and Rebecca Wheeler Walston join me to talk about how they came to understand the importance of trauma and story engagement. If you want to engage your story in more depth, the Impact Movement is hosting an online event called Hope and...here.]]>2043false7140fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/140-what-if-you-were-created-for-connection--555964189c0b19db-b340-4893-ab62-106f5ac165d1Thu, 01 Jun 2023 13:06:00 +0000Adam YoungJenn talks about how she often felt excluded and on the outside during childhood—“I felt so far from people all the time. I felt so far from myself. I was always over-thinking, never in my body.” As she grew into adulthood, Jenn became opposed to...2790false7140fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/139-role-reversal-when-a-child-becomes-a-parent--54252891df537924-8b24-4348-abf1-9b35b3c17304Mon, 15 May 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by my friend Rebekah, who shares a story from when she was six years old. Topics covered include: feeling like there is something wrong with you but not knowing what it is, self-doubt about how you see reality, difficulty trusting...2355false7139fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/138-how-to-heal-from-sorrow-and-grief-part-5--5402249839a9cc32-c975-4fe5-aa98-b4cf2b3c329bMon, 01 May 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungFellow therapist Mary Ellen Owen joins me today to share her journey with sorrow. Like many people with trauma, it took Mary Ellen years to find her tears, years to befriend her sorrow. Although she cognitively knew that grief was necessary for...2720false7138fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/137-how-to-heal-from-sorrow-and-grief-part-4-with-heather-stringer--53857676029ef8c0-f4f0-469f-8cb0-ba5dc8168cfcMon, 17 Apr 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Heather Stringer, who has lots of experience creating rituals that heal. Heather begins by describing two rituals: one focused on recovering from sexual assault and the second focused on preparing for a double mastectomy surgery....3030false7137fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/136-engaging-another-person-s-story-why-it-s-important-and-how-to-do-it--53430695 here.]]>0ea938f0-a57f-4540-8daa-ef0b003b45c3Mon, 03 Apr 2023 15:32:04 +0000Adam YoungI am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about how to engage another person’s story. Effective story engagement is not a magical skill that some people have and some people don’t. It can be learned. Today we give a preview of some of the principles and... here.]]>2788false7136fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/135-how-your-story-affects-your-sexuality--53311343here. ]]>4d832123-3f3f-4abc-8b23-8a7439097af7Thu, 23 Mar 2023 14:41:22 +0000Adam YoungJay Stringer joins me to talk about the relationship between our current sexual difficulties and our story in our family of origin. Sexual struggles are rooted in our stories—and, very often, our stories of attachment to our primary caretakers. As Jay...here. ]]>2619false7135fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/134-how-to-heal-from-sorrow-and-grief-part-3--53558187e5a09fac-4f5d-46b5-a0b4-a4852b602d4cMon, 13 Mar 2023 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungIn order to heal from sorrow, we need to move our bodies as we participate in rituals of honoring and releasing our sorrow. A ritual is a sequence of bodily movements and symbolic actions performed with emotion and intention for the purpose of healing...1555false7134fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/133-how-to-heal-from-sorrow-and-grief-part-2--534306949719ed61-0217-4c24-908a-4a46e4ec2df3Mon, 27 Feb 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is part 2 in a series of episodes on how to engage our sorrow and grief in a way that brings healing. The focus today is on the four conditions needed to allow us to work with sorrow and grief. First, we need to own that our sorrows and griefs...1784false7133fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/132-how-to-heal-from-sorrow-and-grief-part-1--53169754db843c33-b6d4-4271-8023-e093d2746a60Mon, 13 Feb 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungFor most modern people, the place we find ourselves is in a land where grief and sorrow are unwelcome. Most of us do not feel like the people around us can bear the depth of our sorrow and grief. And since we don’t want to risk our sense of...1604false7132fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/131-engaging-your-family-of-origin-story-with-dan-allender--52905981 here.]]>64f28f7b-663b-405e-a431-adfb46f5965fSat, 04 Feb 2023 11:54:07 +0000Adam YoungThis episode is a joint release of The Allender Center podcast and The Place We Find Ourselves. We have all experienced hurt, abandonment, or disappointment at the hands of our parents or caretakers, whether it was intentional or not. So much of our... here.]]>2778false7131fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/130-but-then-something-happened--52906473b4f76cca-0954-4f52-aa7d-03eaaee630abMon, 30 Jan 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI’m joined today by theologian and author Pete Enns, who also co-hosts a podcast called The Bible for Normal People. Although we talk about quantum physics at the end, the focus of our conversation is “What do you do when you experience something that...2045false7130fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/129-what-gets-in-the-way-of-healing-four-obstacles--529079076dfd9c47-b7df-463d-8270-df5ccfee0e2cMon, 16 Jan 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungGod created our hearts, minds, and bodies to heal. When the conditions are right, healing will occur. Therefore, it’s important to clear away the things that block the right conditions for healing. Today I discuss four of the most common obstacles to...1807false7129fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/128-when-bible-verses-are-used-against-you-or-is-your-heart-really-trustworthy--529059690862efbf-b24c-4c62-82bd-921c891816b2Mon, 02 Jan 2023 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungLast year I saw an Instagram post asking people to share stories of Bible verses that had been used against them. The comments section was devastating. I read story after story of how the Bible had been used to do immense harm. The verse that was most...1571false7128fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/127-trauma-fragmentation-and-the-soothing-certainty-of-dogmatism--52907908111fd5d1-a7ee-4962-b232-256c440278d0Mon, 26 Dec 2022 16:23:49 +0000Adam YoungConnections between brain regions lead to a healthy and stable brain (and a healthy and stable life). Trauma prevents these brain connections. This is known as fragmentation. In today’s episode, I explain how trauma leads to fragmentation in the brain...2493false7127fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/126-when-neglect-is-not-really-neglect--5290596770056937-c0f6-41ff-ac4a-160146b7cc0eMon, 05 Dec 2022 14:47:30 +0000Adam YoungPascale Wright joins me today to share a very vulnerable story from her childhood. The temptation is to view her story as one of neglect… but it’s not. We cover a lot of ground today, including: Pascale’s ambivalence about longing for care from her...2746false7126fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/125-spiritual-wounding-what-it-is-and-how-to-heal-part-2--52906508d55c591e-09db-402b-8b98-0e37c65f8dd2Mon, 21 Nov 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungToday’s episode looks more deeply at the spiritual abuse KJ Ramsey suffered at the hands of Christian leaders. We begin by talking about the relationship that many Christians have with their emotions. Drawing from her story of spiritual abuse, KJ...1612false7125fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/124-spiritual-wounding-what-it-is-and-how-to-heal-part-1--52906639595543ce-aebf-4f7d-a964-3eb62e37f1dcMon, 07 Nov 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined by KJ Ramsey to talk through her new book, “The Lord Is My Courage.” KJ explains why it’s so important to be honest and clear about the ways we have been harmed, and how our bodies often reveal truths about our trauma that our minds are...2119false7124fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/123-is-hope-reasonable--52906503558af4bf-e0a2-438d-91d7-7abc1c83dc14Mon, 24 Oct 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungMany people with a history of trauma find themselves stuck. Stuck in a place of hopelessness about our own healing. It’s this sense of “nothing significant is really going to change for me.” The present ordering of your life—the way things are—claims...2325false7123fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/122-a-pastor-s-journey-of-exploring-his-story-and-addressing-his-trauma-with-rich-villodas--5290667690a327af-2f68-4452-a3ca-a41636ae05b9Mon, 10 Oct 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI’m joined today by Rich Villodas, pastor of New Life Church in New York City. Rich shares a story of trauma that happened when he was 12 years old. He then explains how that traumatic experience was reenacted 30 years later. We also cover how and why...2499false7122fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/121-why-it-s-so-important-to-understand-your-story--529065517d2a2c66-9346-450a-9d9d-e5b15504e049Sat, 01 Oct 2022 12:20:48 +0000Adam YoungCathy Loerzel joins me to talk about why it’s so important to do the work to understand your story, particularly your family of origin story. In short, the three reasons are: understanding your story will allow you to experience healing, stop...1853false7121fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/120-how-to-engage-someone-s-story-part-4--52906535e9b5c43b-4dfb-4244-b2be-d9a2ab0d699bMon, 01 Aug 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is the final episode in a four-part series on how to engage another person’s story. We conclude by looking at the final seven tactics for effective story engagement. Tactic 6: Continually bring your dialogue with the storyteller back to the story...2110false6120fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/119-how-to-engage-someone-s-story-part-3--529078740c4ee373-5843-4097-bdae-9fad13ee3642Mon, 18 Jul 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungIn Part 3 of this series on how to engage someone’s story, we look at five specific tactics you can use. Tactic 1: Explore the trauma before the trauma. Tactic 2: Explore triangulation. Tactic 3: Ask (good) provocative questions. Tactic 4: Invite the...2253false6119fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/118-how-to-engage-someone-s-story-part-2--5290787214e42e09-7f92-4984-9d15-1c696fbc0611Mon, 04 Jul 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is part 2 of a series of episodes on how to engage another person’s story. Today, we look at principles 3-7 of effective story engagement. Principle 3: Use the exquisite instrument that is your body. Principle 4: Always be monitoring the...1859false6118fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/117-how-to-engage-someone-s-story-part-1--5290785814b72c30-4886-465a-b41e-989d2adcf519Mon, 20 Jun 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungEngaging another person’s story is a skill that can be learned! Over the course of the next four episodes, I will explain how to engage another person’s story well. Today, I discuss the first two principles of effective story engagement. Principle 1:...1767false6117fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/116-restorative-practices-how-to-care-for-our-hearts-and-bodies-in-the-wake-of-trauma-with-john-eldredge--529067188c1359f9-7f91-4896-8465-dd94962f9069Mon, 06 Jun 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungJohn Eldredge joins me today to talk about how to care for our hearts and bodies in the wake of trauma. Topics include how to navigate life when you feel deeply disappointed by God, how to access the mothering of God, and why it’s so important to get...2357false6116fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/115-why-it-s-so-important-to-tell-your-story-to-an-attuned-listener-with-curt-thompson--5290670141e91f39-9945-446a-abc1-bf9e386ff1ceMon, 23 May 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Christian neuroscientist Curt Thompson. In this vulnerable conversation, Curt and I talk about: why our brains change when we share our story with another human being who is attuned to us, why engaging your story is the single...3365false6115fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/114-making-sense-of-your-story-why-it-s-necessary-to-name-intentionality-part-2--5290660648bc6cf7-3b12-4286-9a7b-ca8b5e6fc2c8Mon, 09 May 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is part 2 of a discussion on the necessity of naming intentional harm. You can’t heal until your brain has constructed an accurate and coherent autobiographical narrative of your life. Today I introduce the idea of antisocial empathy, which is a...1565false6114fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/113-making-sense-of-your-story-why-it-s-necessary-to-name-intentionality-part-1--5290657077f3d49d-b896-4e82-bd91-917668ba1219Mon, 25 Apr 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungNaming intentionality matters because if you are unsure about whether or not the other person meant to hurt you, it will be very difficult for you to heal from your wounds. This is because you can’t heal until your brain has constructed an accurate...1427false6113fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/112-the-power-of-compassion-and-curiosity-toward-ourselves-with-aundi-kolber--5290598794d15b61-b20a-4d2c-b53c-888612c8f704Mon, 11 Apr 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Aundi Kolber, the author of Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode — and into a Life of Connection and Joy. We discuss the importance of paying attention to what is happening inside your...2905false6112fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/111-redeeming-heartache-how-goodness-can-come-out-of-trauma--52906742here.]]>06e9cee9-094a-466d-972b-9f4522a5913fFri, 08 Apr 2022 12:55:50 +0000Adam YoungBonus episode! Cathy Loerzel and I dive into why it’s crucial to take your wounds seriously, and how your wounds lead to the “orphan experience,” “stranger experience,” and/or “widow experience.” We also talk about what redemption looks like for each...here.]]>2422false6111fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/110-how-do-you-move-through-past-trauma--52906757be9ffa6f-f28d-4faa-995c-36ff7f28bd3aMon, 28 Mar 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungJerry Sittser is the author of A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss. He is no stranger to trauma. Jerry and I cover the following topics in this episode: our tendency to try to muscle our way through pain; how adversity in our present...3690false6110fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/109-anxiety-what-it-is-and-how-to-respond-to-it--529066052b42006a-056a-4fc8-b04e-e5e85c496018Mon, 14 Mar 2022 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungAnxiety can be so debilitating. But what exactly is it? Why do we feel anxious? And how can we address it? Anxiety is what you feel when you are avoiding important unfelt emotions. And your anxiety is almost always related to some particular part of...2100false6109fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/108-your-story-and-your-sexuality--52905951here. ]]>ac576fb0-a5b6-4cfa-881b-e26716713ba9Thu, 10 Mar 2022 11:44:41 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Jay Stringer to talk about the relationship between our current sexual difficulties and our attachment histories. At some point in our lives, each of us will encounter difficulties in our sexual life. It might be the compulsive...here. ]]>2659false6108fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/107-racial-trauma-what-s-going-on-part-2--529060076993cc46-7658-4795-a159-45a154945d48Mon, 28 Feb 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is part 2 of my interview with Wendell Moss about racial trauma. Today we continue to discuss the importance of naming what has been true of the past so that we might be free from it. We also begin to talk about what the path toward healing looks...1754false6107fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/106-racial-trauma-what-s-going-on-part-1--52906627a5e65908-5c20-4cd3-b0d7-7518bf878001Mon, 14 Feb 2022 08:00:32 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Wendell Moss. Wendell is a therapist, an instructor at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, and part of The Allender Center teaching staff. We discuss a blog post Wendell wrote for The Allender Center called, “Racial...1821false6106fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/105-complicity-why-sexual-abuse-is-so-damaging-and-how-to-address-it--529066474a22a481-dff6-4338-b16d-d51eab4b9aa4Mon, 31 Jan 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungComplicity often haunts people with a history of trauma more than anything else. The essence of complicity is the sense that I volitionally participated in my own abuse. In today’s episode, I outline four ways in which we may feel complicit in our...1910false6105fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/104-when-the-church-harms-you--5290677592406d23-053a-47ff-9541-725837d077caMon, 17 Jan 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungRebecca Wheeler Walston joins me today to talk about how she came to engage her story in more depth. She also shares a story of significant harm at the hands of fellow Christians. It is a story of harm from those in a position of spiritual authority....2528false6104fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/103-how-to-engage-another-person-s-story--52906720here.]]>8ebfa5b0-cb6f-43ce-bbb9-8b136940b026Tue, 04 Jan 2022 13:56:38 +0000Adam YoungI am joined by Cathy Loerzel to talk about how to engage another person’s story. Effective story engagement is not a magical skill that some people have and some people don’t. It can be learned. Today we give a preview of some of the principles and...here.]]>2944false6103fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/102-talking-to-your-children-about-sex-the-practical-stuff--52906563ccd33a93-549b-421b-8952-3e7ca626fcbfMon, 03 Jan 2022 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungBethany Robbins returns to identify the key points to cover when you talk to your children about sex, including the subject of pornography and the importance of naming the feeling of sexual arousal and blessing that feeling rather than communicating...2284false6102fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/101-talking-to-your-children-about-sex-two-stories--52906463fe685efc-de7d-4403-a2fd-95ae0b2f97ccMon, 20 Dec 2021 07:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Bethany Robbins to address the subject of talking to your children about sex. Bethany and I each share a story about how our parents talked to us about sex. It’s important to understand how your story is playing out in the way you...1893false6101fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/100-no-cure-for-being-human-with-kate-bowler--52906029eaafe518-95ff-477e-9cd7-68f8ac77357aSun, 26 Sep 2021 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by author Kate Bowler to talk about her recently released book No Cure For Being Human. Topics covered: the very human desire to have a blueprint or formula for how to live life (and why this doesn’t work), coming undone by tragedy...2703false5100fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/99-redeeming-heartache-how-past-suffering-reveals-our-true-calling-bonus-episode--46597901e7474949-0073-4a4c-9094-ad6d0ee7497fMon, 13 Sep 2021 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungCathy Loerzel and Dan Allender join me today to talk about their newly published book Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. Cathy and Dan reflect on what redemption actually means in the context of our stories, why they...2702falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/98-engaging-with-someone-who-has-harmed-you-part-5--52906731here.]]>0cd43ce0-321e-4d87-aa3b-366e9b729583Mon, 30 Aug 2021 06:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is the final episode in the series on interacting with someone who has harmed you. Today we look at what it means to establish clear boundaries and put relational consequences in place when necessary. I also talk about what is involved in...here.]]>1851false598fullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/97-the-story-your-body-is-telling-bonus-episode--465979025bd49f4c-043a-48aa-8261-931fae4792cdThu, 19 Aug 2021 00:31:07 +0000Adam YoungYour body tells a story. The sensations in your body reveal something about what you have experienced, what you hold, and what you carry. Most of us are either unaware of the sensations in our bodies, or we ignore them, or we war against them. An...1853falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/83-understanding-your-sexual-story-bonus-episode--440382831b87946e-543f-41d0-a418-396bdf23984cWed, 24 Mar 2021 19:52:50 +0000Adam YoungI am joined today by Jay Stringer to talk about the relationship between our current sexual difficulties and our attachment histories. At some point in our lives, each of us will encounter difficulties in our sexual life. Sexual struggles are rooted...2129falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/80-relational-conflict-fight-flight-freeze-or-shut-down-part-2--430887638c8660cd-747b-4997-8b17-bd7405d2f81bMon, 21 Dec 2020 19:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is Part 2 of a discussion about what happens to your nervous system in the midst of relational conflict. When your body scans your relational environment and detects anything that feels remotely threatening, it triggers your nervous system to do...1499falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/79-relational-conflict-fight-flight-freeze-or-shut-down-part-1--4285514015e48747-bdb8-4e15-9a67-9657cc984361Mon, 07 Dec 2020 19:00:00 +0000Adam YoungYour nervous system is constantly surveying your environment (think: relationships) to determine how safe and supported you feel. When your body scans the environment and detects anything that feels remotely threatening, it triggers your nervous...1491falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/78-when-parents-open-the-door-for-sibling-abuse--426545230d40bccd-4252-4e2e-964d-91951bac697eMon, 23 Nov 2020 19:00:00 +0000Adam YoungMy friend Bethany shares one of her stories about sibling abuse. And, as is the case with virtually all sibling abuse, there is so much more at play than an older sibling harming a younger sibling. Harm from siblings never happens in a vacuum. An...2436falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/77-the-episode-in-which-i-share-one-of-my-stories--42411369b4f7a420-58dd-4d5c-a0c7-6339c8da1f64Mon, 09 Nov 2020 19:00:00 +0000Adam YoungToday I share one of my stories. My guest is Rachael Clinton Chen, but she’s actually the host of the episode. As Rachael interviews me, I talk about how I began to engage my story, as well as what obstacles I have faced along the way. Then I read one...2588falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/76-uncovering-intentionality-did-my-parents-really-mean-to-harm-me-part-2--42155182c903b087-f558-4469-9a34-a5e0129bfabdMon, 26 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000Adam YoungThis is Part 2 of my conversation with Cyndi Mesmer. As you begin to name the ways your parents harmed you, it is very common to think, “Okay, I’ll acknowledge that my Dad harmed me, but I don’t think he really meant to do it. I don’t think my Dad was...1538falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/75-uncovering-intentionality-did-my-parents-really-mean-to-harm-me-part-1--41894530fab82900-dbca-4820-8fc3-c556fd220af8Mon, 12 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000Adam YoungCyndi Mesmer and I tackle the question of, “Did the people who harmed me really mean to do it?” Answering this question is more important than you may realize. If you are unsure about the answer to this question—or if you are convinced that your...1710falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/74-the-bible-racial-injustice-and-individual-responsibility--4164038467fbee89-bfeb-4d4c-8d73-810b1ce3e4c0Mon, 28 Sep 2020 09:00:00 +0000Adam YoungToday I want to look at the Bible’s take on how Christians are called to respond when racial injustice is occurring in our land. This episode is primarily for White Christians who have a sense inside of “I acknowledge that racial injustice exists in...1583falsefullhttps://www.spreaker.com/episode/73-racial-trauma-and-my-story-with-racism--4140735136ae68f0-5f55-48ee-927b-877981244248Mon, 14 Sep 2020 09:00:00 +0000Adam YoungToday I talk about racial trauma, and, in particular, the racial trauma that African Americans experience. One central tenet of all story work is that in order for healing to occur there has to be an honest naming of what has been true. This is true...2081falsefull