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<rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title>The Tipsy Testament</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-tipsy-testament</link><description><![CDATA[Just like Sunday morning church, except with more wine!]]></description><atom:link href="https://www.spreaker.com/show/2220674/episodes/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><language>en</language><category>Comedy</category><copyright>Copyright tipsytestament</copyright><image><url>https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/4c403cd9d5fed163f8089632ec8fd8e8.jpg</url><title>The Tipsy Testament</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/show/the-tipsy-testament</link></image><lastBuildDate>Fri, 15 Jun 2018 07:27:57 +0000</lastBuildDate><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:owner><itunes:name>tipsytestament</itunes:name><itunes:email>thetipsytestament@gmail.com</itunes:email></itunes:owner><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/4c403cd9d5fed163f8089632ec8fd8e8.jpg"/><itunes:subtitle>Just like Sunday morning church, except with more wine!</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Just like Sunday morning church, except with more wine!]]></itunes:summary><itunes:category text="Comedy"/><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:type>episodic</itunes:type><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/4c403cd9d5fed163f8089632ec8fd8e8.jpg"/><googleplay:email>thetipsytestament@gmail.com</googleplay:email><googleplay:description>Just like Sunday morning church, except with more wine!</googleplay:description><googleplay:category text="Comedy"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit><item><title>Ep 37 - The Bible had a Red-Light District??</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/user/thetipsytestament/ep-37-the-bible-had-a-red-light-district</link><description><![CDATA[Welcome back to the Tipsy Testament, folks! This time around, we're talking about the harrowing story of Rehab and how she helped the Israelites get to the Promised Land. You know who didn't get to go? MOSES! It's probably for the best cause we know that dude is nasty. And if YOU'RE nasty, you'll know that Rahab invented the red-light district and you should probably be ashamed of yourself. Also: It may seem like Jonte falls alseep at the end of this but he totally doesn't. Don't ever listen to what Veronica or Alex say!]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">tipsytestament.podbean.com/ep-37-the-bible-had-a-red-light-district-92801ec52ea0fa4bddde1b1a22fe42bf</guid><pubDate>Thu, 07 Jun 2018 02:59:39 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/15054219/rahab_tt.mp3" length="35158884" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to the Tipsy Testament, folks! This time around, we're talking about the harrowing story of Rehab and how she helped the Israelites get to the Promised Land. You know who didn't get to go? MOSES! It's probably for the best cause we know...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Welcome back to the Tipsy Testament, folks! This time around, we're talking about the harrowing story of Rehab and how she helped the Israelites get to the Promised Land. You know who didn't get to go? MOSES! It's probably for the best cause we know that dude is nasty. And if YOU'RE nasty, you'll know that Rahab invented the red-light district and you should probably be ashamed of yourself. Also: It may seem like Jonte falls alseep at the end of this but he totally doesn't. Don't ever listen to what Veronica or Alex say!]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>1894</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:description>Welcome back to the Tipsy Testament, folks! This time around, we're talking about the harrowing story of Rehab and how she helped the Israelites get to the Promised Land. You know who didn't get to go? MOSES! It's probably for the best cause we know that dude is nasty. And if YOU'RE nasty, you'll know that Rahab invented the red-light district and you should probably be ashamed of yourself. Also: It may seem like Jonte falls alseep at the end of this but he totally doesn't. Don't ever listen to what Veronica or Alex say!</googleplay:description><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit></item><item><title>Ep 36 - Was King Solomon really all that wise?</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/user/thetipsytestament/ep-36-was-king-solomon-really-all-that-w</link><description><![CDATA[Think of the wisest and smartest person you know. Now multiply that by 100 fold. Still with me? Now imagine that person told you to chop a baby in half and share it with a friend. Congratulations! You just imagined King Solomon; the topic of our episode today! And I know exactly what you're thinking and the answer is a resounding "yes"! We DO discuss getting the butt-end of the baby. You know the Tipsy crew is always here for ya. King Solomon is the ultimate in decadence. He's got a whole room just for baboons, just like every young man's dream. Jealous yet? Well, you'll be more jealous when you hear about his 700 wives. All of them probably hella thicc. Also: listen closely as V falls asleep towards the end of the episode. Riveting!]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">tipsytestament.podbean.com/ep-36-was-king-solomon-really-all-that-wise-24b00f90dd1700f333f1ee8f1a4eedd1</guid><pubDate>Thu, 31 May 2018 00:27:40 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/14931692/tt_king_solomon.mp3" length="65917579" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>Think of the wisest and smartest person you know. Now multiply that by 100 fold. Still with me? Now imagine that person told you to chop a baby in half and share it with a friend. Congratulations! You just imagined King Solomon; the topic of our...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Think of the wisest and smartest person you know. Now multiply that by 100 fold. Still with me? Now imagine that person told you to chop a baby in half and share it with a friend. Congratulations! You just imagined King Solomon; the topic of our episode today! And I know exactly what you're thinking and the answer is a resounding "yes"! We DO discuss getting the butt-end of the baby. You know the Tipsy crew is always here for ya. King Solomon is the ultimate in decadence. He's got a whole room just for baboons, just like every young man's dream. Jealous yet? Well, you'll be more jealous when you hear about his 700 wives. All of them probably hella thicc. Also: listen closely as V falls asleep towards the end of the episode. Riveting!]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>3599</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:description>Think of the wisest and smartest person you know. Now multiply that by 100 fold. Still with me? Now imagine that person told you to chop a baby in half and share it with a friend. Congratulations! You just imagined King Solomon; the topic of our episode today! And I know exactly what you're thinking and the answer is a resounding "yes"! We DO discuss getting the butt-end of the baby. You know the Tipsy crew is always here for ya. King Solomon is the ultimate in decadence. He's got a whole room just for baboons, just like every young man's dream. Jealous yet? Well, you'll be more jealous when you hear about his 700 wives. All of them probably hella thicc. Also: listen closely as V falls asleep towards the end of the episode. Riveting!</googleplay:description><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit></item><item><title>Ep 35 - Moses Family Drama: Why Has God Forsaken Miriam?</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/user/thetipsytestament/ep-35-moses-family-drama-why-has-god-for</link><description><![CDATA[Hahahahaha! Oh! I didn't see you there. I was just laughing at the latest installment of the Tipsy Testament where we discuss more adventures of the Israelites wandering in the desert!!!! We're in the book of Numbers this time which, contrary to what Veronica believes, is NOT a biblical phone book. But hey, she can try calling some of the numbers anyway. Listen in horror as we recount the time Moses committed the most heinous sex-crime ever recorded - wearing his own son's foreskin! Don't worry, though. It gets worse. Moses's poor sister gets struck with leprosy and has to live with her serpent brethren on the outskirts of camp. How sad. Not as sad as Alex and V's marriage counseling session, though. But surprise! You guys get another story! It's the Bible's version of Shrek complete with talking donkey and nonsensical plot! Hooray! XOXO Gossip Girl]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">tipsytestament.podbean.com/ep-35-moses-family-drama-why-has-god-forsaken-miriam-24b00f90dd1700f333f1ee8f1a4eedd1</guid><pubDate>Thu, 05 Apr 2018 22:55:07 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/14478755/tt_moses_family_drama.mp3" length="52899221" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>Hahahahaha! Oh! I didn't see you there. I was just laughing at the latest installment of the Tipsy Testament where we discuss more adventures of the Israelites wandering in the desert!!!! We're in the book of Numbers this time which, contrary to what...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Hahahahaha! Oh! I didn't see you there. I was just laughing at the latest installment of the Tipsy Testament where we discuss more adventures of the Israelites wandering in the desert!!!! We're in the book of Numbers this time which, contrary to what Veronica believes, is NOT a biblical phone book. But hey, she can try calling some of the numbers anyway. Listen in horror as we recount the time Moses committed the most heinous sex-crime ever recorded - wearing his own son's foreskin! Don't worry, though. It gets worse. Moses's poor sister gets struck with leprosy and has to live with her serpent brethren on the outskirts of camp. How sad. Not as sad as Alex and V's marriage counseling session, though. But surprise! You guys get another story! It's the Bible's version of Shrek complete with talking donkey and nonsensical plot! Hooray! XOXO Gossip Girl]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>3911</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:description>Hahahahaha! Oh! I didn't see you there. I was just laughing at the latest installment of the Tipsy Testament where we discuss more adventures of the Israelites wandering in the desert!!!! We're in the book of Numbers this time which, contrary to what Veronica believes, is NOT a biblical phone book. But hey, she can try calling some of the numbers anyway. Listen in horror as we recount the time Moses committed the most heinous sex-crime ever recorded - wearing his own son's foreskin! Don't worry, though. It gets worse. Moses's poor sister gets struck with leprosy and has to live with her serpent brethren on the outskirts of camp. How sad. Not as sad as Alex and V's marriage counseling session, though. But surprise! You guys get another story! It's the Bible's version of Shrek complete with talking donkey and nonsensical plot! Hooray! XOXO Gossip Girl</googleplay:description><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit></item><item><title>Ep 33 - Revelations Part 3: Shit-talking Montsers in the Bible??</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/user/thetipsytestament/ep-33-revelations-part-3-shit-talking-mo</link><description><![CDATA[Revelations part 3 is here folks, and this one has real monsters! Yup, that's right! WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS HOT MESS OF A CHAPTER! The guys teach Veronica the indisputable fact that the mark of the beast = not eating Chic-Fil-A. The tipsy crew also have a revelation of their own when we realize that Alex is the ACTUAL anti-christ. The guys have a serious chat about the lack of guidance they received while in church and how they dealt with not having a place to turn to address doubts they had about their faith. <br /> ]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">tipsytestament.podbean.com/ep-33-revelations-part-3-shit-talking-montsers-in-the-bible-24b00f90dd1700f333f1ee8f1a4eedd1</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2018 16:52:48 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/14365329/tt_revelations_3.mp3" length="18438809" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>Revelations part 3 is here folks, and this one has real monsters! Yup, that's right! WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS HOT MESS OF A CHAPTER! The guys teach Veronica the indisputable fact that the mark of the beast = not eating Chic-Fil-A. The tipsy crew...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[Revelations part 3 is here folks, and this one has real monsters! Yup, that's right! WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS HOT MESS OF A CHAPTER! The guys teach Veronica the indisputable fact that the mark of the beast = not eating Chic-Fil-A. The tipsy crew also have a revelation of their own when we realize that Alex is the ACTUAL anti-christ. The guys have a serious chat about the lack of guidance they received while in church and how they dealt with not having a place to turn to address doubts they had about their faith. <br /> ]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>2769</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:description>Revelations part 3 is here folks, and this one has real monsters! Yup, that's right! WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS HOT MESS OF A CHAPTER! The guys teach Veronica the indisputable fact that the mark of the beast = not eating Chic-Fil-A. The tipsy crew also have a revelation of their own when we realize that Alex is the ACTUAL anti-christ. The guys have a serious chat about the lack of guidance they received while in church and how they dealt with not having a place to turn to address doubts they had about their faith. 
 </googleplay:description><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit></item><item><title>Ep 32 - Book of Revelations, Part 2</title><link>https://www.spreaker.com/user/thetipsytestament/ep-32-book-of-revelations-part-2</link><description><![CDATA[We’re back again with more of Revelations!  But not before Veronica regales us with her findings from her 23 and Me testing.  What sort of genetic mysteries will she uncover!? And will it explain why she suddenly disappears for the latter half of the episode!?  The narrator of this book, John, is most definitely tripping balls and convincing himself he’s seeing some divine visions but these visions are hella boring.  Just a bunch of lampstands, old people, and chairs. John needs some better drugs.]]></description><guid isPermaLink="false">tipsytestament.podbean.com/ep-32-book-of-revelations-part-2-24b00f90dd1700f333f1ee8f1a4eedd1</guid><pubDate>Wed, 14 Mar 2018 21:13:53 +0000</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/14365330/tt_revelations_2.mp3" length="33614447" type="audio/mpeg"/><itunes:author>tipsytestament</itunes:author><itunes:subtitle>We’re back again with more of Revelations!  But not before Veronica regales us with her findings from her 23 and Me testing.  What sort of genetic mysteries will she uncover!? And will it explain why she suddenly disappears for the latter half of the...</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary><![CDATA[We’re back again with more of Revelations!  But not before Veronica regales us with her findings from her 23 and Me testing.  What sort of genetic mysteries will she uncover!? And will it explain why she suddenly disappears for the latter half of the episode!?  The narrator of this book, John, is most definitely tripping balls and convincing himself he’s seeing some divine visions but these visions are hella boring.  Just a bunch of lampstands, old people, and chairs. John needs some better drugs.]]></itunes:summary><itunes:duration>5159</itunes:duration><itunes:explicit>yes</itunes:explicit><itunes:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType><googleplay:author>tipsytestament</googleplay:author><googleplay:description>We’re back again with more of Revelations!  But not before Veronica regales us with her findings from her 23 and Me testing.  What sort of genetic mysteries will she uncover!? And will it explain why she suddenly disappears for the latter half of the episode!?  The narrator of this book, John, is most definitely tripping balls and convincing himself he’s seeing some divine visions but these visions are hella boring.  Just a bunch of lampstands, old people, and chairs. John needs some better drugs.</googleplay:description><googleplay:image href="https://d3wo5wojvuv7l.cloudfront.net/t_rss_itunes_square_1400/images.spreaker.com/original/a0fc03db54386551f68d5ff907956ba3.jpg"/><googleplay:explicit>Yes</googleplay:explicit></item></channel></rss>
